Getting teen back into life (health anxiety)

[TeenPlusTwenties]

Throwing this out there for all-comers to make helpful suggestions.

DD, year 11 (GCSE year) has not managed to return to school following the first lockdown. She is now on various meds and counselling covering a variety of deep rooted issues and some things are improving and I hope to get her back to academics soon.

The problem we are making no apparent headway with is she is now scared of germs & people. Won't walk on narrow footpaths, go into shops, scared of touching stuff that has been outside the house etc.

Looking for suggestions on what to do (therapy - what type?, baby steps - how? etc.). Not looking to force her, she needs to be willing to try.

I recommend the book Feel The Fear. It is a bit dated but it explores how fears control us and what to do about it in a really interesting and practical way. It gives you tools for life.

Thank you, I'll look into it.

Anyone else?

Tricky- it's a magnification of what many of us are feeling.

I'd be inclined to agree with her that things have been scary, that a vaccine will make everywhere much safer, and in the meantime what would help her feel safer?

Things that help may be anything from- having wet wipes available, to knowing where and when she will be able to wash her hands. Having a scarf so she can use it to touch doors and handles.

Ask her to lead the way- what does she need, what would she really like to do etc.

At the same time, build in stress busting activities like exercise, meditation, breathing exercises and worry dolls. If she routinely addresses the physical symptoms of anxiety- detoxifes from stress hormones- then day to day and moment to moment challenges will be easier to face.

Some activities-
think about something that's worrying you, blow that worry into a balloon, fill as much as you can and then foof ! let it flubber away.
Write a worry on paper, burn it in a candle flame.
Do the Harry Potter thing of ridiculing the thing that scares you- visualise the germs melting and drizzling away, or going pop in a puff of smoke.

pickle Those are interesting activity ideas, though I'm not sure she'll go for them.

I sort of think we need an external person to come along and 'drive' things, but I'm not sure who, or how.

It is tricky, when you are so close. My ideas are from working with a younger age group- though the flame one works. Also, writing things on tin foil with a felt tip. Set the foil in water, and the ink lifts away.

There's something very powerful about seeing a fear literally dissolve. It speaks to the subconscious, I think.

Try talking to her and see whether anything resonates. Create little oases of calm, they can influence all the other more chaotic times.

Have you got her referred to CAMHS? Or private therapy such as CBT or EMDR.

CBT.

Just proper 'talking therapy' / psychotherapy. CBT comes after. She needs to address these deep rooted issues you mention before any further work can be done. That will be at the root of it. CBT is merely a tool for managing ones thoughts and actions on a day to day basis after that.

My DD (year 12) has just completed a course of CBT, to help with anxiety-specifically health anxiety- and OCD that was developing/traits that had developed . I was, and am, too close to her to help her ( it was explained to me as- I am a character in the play that is her life)
The GP and referral route was taking months, so I ended up finding someone private to treat her.
The change in her from the summer is remarkable, I am beginning to see ‘her’ again.

I'm sure lots of children and young people ( and older ones too!) are experiencing similar.
Do school have any ideas? (Senco/school nurse?)

CBT generally would be the right course of action for individuals I would think.
It feels as if the whole public message has been flooding the population with 'risk'and how to avoid it, and now we will need months of reverse media messaging to move us from this state of fear of contamination.

Sympathies - my dd is the same although developed a tic disorder as part of it. Slowly returning to school but it's very challenging.

We're just taking each day as it comes. I'm trying my hardest not to react to any of the OCD's. It will come with time. Is she having regular psych appts to manage the medication? Could her dose need tweaking?

If she's already having counselling what are they suggesting?

Thank you all.

We have been on the waiting list for CAMHS since May....

We went private in Sept, only seen in Nov, and new meds are starting to help, but he didn't really say anything re counselling side.
She has been having counselling since March, we switched counsellors in July. I have just emailed specifically asking re anxiety.
We are waiting for a post adoption support report. Just chased again.

I'm not sure she is 'mature' enough for CBT? She is reluctant to do/try things outside of the counselling sessions. She won't/can't persevere enough to see benefits, I think.

I can't do this myself, she needs external help, but I can't see what.

What about school support? Our school has a counsellor - DD is on the waitist but it's shorter than CAMHS. Plus in the interim she speaks with pastoral support weekly and a school nurse monthly. DDs anxiety doesnt sound as severe as your daughter's, but she has found being able to talk to someone other than us helped.

We also found, once we got her into school and she rebuilt friendships (and some new ones), that she overcame some of the anxieties. So if there's support the school can give to enable her to return even on a very part-time basis, she might find that helpful.

Have you looked at www.youngminds.org.uk, there's a parent helpline too

There's also some apps if she might engage with those, take a look at
ThinkNinja
MeeTwo
Catch It
WorryTree

They are all suggested by the NHS, there's others as well, but the top two are specific for young people and the bottom two for anxiety

Best of luck, you will all get through this, keep pushing GP / school to get help