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Anyone else with under 5’s finding life a grind?

23 replies

Velvetpeel · 01/12/2020 13:09

Finding things so grinding at the moment and the days seem endless. Limited places to go, level of risk to meeting up with others and going to shops etc. Limiting how much contact we have with my Mum as she’s in at risk category and MIL is shielding.
I have a 3 year old and 7 month old and life just feels so draining! Tell me I’m not the only one?! If you’re coping better than me - tell me your secrets!

OP posts:
INeedNewShoes · 01/12/2020 13:21

I think the secret is to go easy on yourself and not worry if every day is very low key! Also don't kid yourself that other parents are doing a perfect job.

As a caveat to my response, I have to say that me working 3 days a week and DD being at nursery those days must make a significant difference to how Covid restrictions feel to us as we still have 3 days of almost normality.

2019 was a very busy year for us and we were constantly bombing around trying to see people and do lots of trips etc. Nice but exhausting! From January 2020 I had to budget severely so we also had a very local January/February even before Covid came along to make everything difficult!

Over time I've let go of the ideals of wonderful planned activities and needing to do 'exciting' things. We have learned to potter about like absolute experts and can while away the hours/days just with a good walk out for 1–2 hours, time for playing with toys, sitting drawing together, baking etc. Children don't actually need the whizzy stuff.

I'd say a real turning point for us was me realising that DD behaves better the more I involve her in my mundane household tasks. She likes dusting, washing the car, doing bits to help with cooking, putting her own plate in the dishwasher etc. She wants to do this stuff and helps to turn chores into activities that keep her entertained.

We've also in the last couple of weeks designated Saturday evenings as pizza and a film as DD can now enjoy watching some carefully-chosen films and she loves the novelty of a TV tea. It gives some structure to our week!

In terms of my own sanity I enjoy planning and cooking meals which I've found therapeutic this year.

Velvetpeel · 01/12/2020 13:25

@INeedNewShoes it’s not really about the kids 😆 I’m happy for them to do low key activity. It’s me - I’m SO bored with so little activity to do with them all day! The days just seem so long and monotonous!

OP posts:
Velvetpeel · 01/12/2020 13:26

I miss having lunch out with friends and spending time at other people’s houses like my Mum’s!

OP posts:
getmeacupoftea · 01/12/2020 13:29

I feel exactly the same! Getting out and about, doing things, having friends over , seeing family, is how I stayed sane. Its hard being stuck in with a 4 year old and 2 year old.

HoneyWheeler · 01/12/2020 13:34

Yes! It is so monotonous! You're not alone. I'm just about to go on mat leave and panicking a bit that this is going to be the next year of my life....

Velvetpeel · 01/12/2020 13:35

@getmeacupoftea Just doesn’t feel like an end to it at the moment either! Only so many walks you can do, particularly with a whiney 3 year old who hates walking Grin

OP posts:
BillyAndTheSillies · 01/12/2020 13:38

It's tough, really really tough. I have a 4 year old and and a 1 year old. My four year old had an epic teary cry last week when he asked what we were doing on Saturday and my response was going to the park, the same as we've done for the last god knows how many weeks and he literally broke down. "I JUST WANT TO DO SOMETHING!" Same.

Whereas my one year old loves being home so much. My eldest is desperate for his own space. I'm desperate for them both to have a sleepover at their grandparents so I can have a day where my day doesn't start at 5am. It's relentless.

This lockdown seems to be affecting him a whole lot more. Whether it'd be wise he feels things should be more normal because he's going to school every day? I don't know.

EssentialHummus · 01/12/2020 13:43

Yup! My three year old is fine. I’m bored as fuck and so so over it.

EyelinerRocks · 01/12/2020 13:45

Yes it’s very tough

Also desperately need a break, no overnight sleepovers for months at grandparents.

Nowhere to go with toddler.
Weather absolutely utter shit in Scotland

Trying to save money and heating bills but we are in the house all day and I don’t want kids to be cold.

It’s horrible.

Also have a toddler who is a terrible sleeper and now in the deepest depths of dark winter has decided now is the time to add a 545 am wake up onto the nightly wake ups.

My patience is wearing very very very thin.

whatswithtodaytoday · 01/12/2020 13:53

@INeedNewShoes How old is your daughter? I can't imagine getting to a point where my 21 month old will engage with what I'm doing and help, or watch TV long enough for a film! He mostly just wants to climb things and ride his trike around the house.

Thankfully he's at nursery four days a week as I work, but the weekends are so dull. I just want to pop over to my friend's for a cuppa and let him play with her children and their toys!

OiYouGetOffMyCloud · 01/12/2020 14:01

Another bored mum here. Who knew the weekly supermarket shop would be the most exciting thing in the week?

mishmash13 · 01/12/2020 14:33

Tis very hard. Both sets of grandparents shielding so no support. Nothing to do other than freezing cold park. I feel like I am living the same day over and over again. I wanted to be a SAHM but I didnt sign up for being a SAHM in a pandemic. Very happy to be alive and well and all of that obviously but bleurgh I just need a break so bad. Moan over. Back to duplo.

Velvetpeel · 01/12/2020 15:25

I’ve found my people Grin Sorry to hear others are finding things crap too. And yes to lack of grandparents overnight stays! I have an older child too and usually they’d have regular nights with Grandparents and we’d do days out together too. Feels a slog at the moment!

OP posts:
Covidwoes · 01/12/2020 19:23

Yup. Got a 28 month old and a baby due in 6 weeks! Also just had Covid and still getting over that. Was supposed to have a pre-baby, child free night at a hotel this weekend with DH, but obviously that can't happen now under the Jew rules. Sigh. I miss play dates, spontaneous trips out with her (eg swimming, softplay etc) and just having more options. I'm sick of walks (and can't go far anyway due to SPD) and don't enjoy being out in the cold. Ugh. Moan over 😂.

Covidwoes · 01/12/2020 19:24

New rules, not Jew rules! Bloody autocorrect!

mineandyours · 01/12/2020 19:29

3yr old and 2yr old here! Everyday just the fucking same. 2020 has sucked the life out of me.

Pinkclarko · 01/12/2020 19:32

Same. Two and nearly five year old here, at least older one is in school. I’ll never complain about schlepping around town with the two of them to meet friends again!

blinkboo · 01/12/2020 19:35

My kids are all at school now but I feel for those with toddlers so so much. Hang in there. This would have destroyed me when my kids were that age so if you're anywhere above a constant blubbering wreck you're amazing.

ndo4000 · 01/12/2020 19:37

I hear you. I have an almost 3 yr old and I never thought I would miss playgroups so much!

We spent TWO hours going round the garden centre last week looking at the Christmas stuff. Mind you, 30 mins of that was me trying to extract a litter picker stick that she had found from her. Hmm

The dog thinks he's in fucking heaven with 1.5 hour walks in the park everyday. I'm just trying to wear them both out!

Doordine · 01/12/2020 19:45

I'm finding it so much easier now as I am at work 4 days a week but when I was on maternity leave, as I was when mine were the same ages as yours, my god I found it so hard at times. And that was without lockdowns and restrictions.

user1493413286 · 01/12/2020 19:51

I have a 3 year old and 9 month old and I’m so over meeting people for walks. I know we’re lucky to be able to do it but my 9 month old gets irritated, I get cold and my 3 year older varies in enthusiasm: I’ve bought an annual pass for a farm place so that we at least have something to do that is a bit more exciting than the park and has a cafe on site; also got national trust membership for same reason.
My DD goes to nursery 3 days and I was looking forward to being able to do stuff with DS during that time but it’s so limited.

EcoCustard · 01/12/2020 20:58

I hear you OP. I have a 6,5,3 & 19 month old and life is like one long, monotonous Groundhog Day. No family nearby, no groups reopened since March, now in tier 3, nursery closed due to covid again so studying falling further behind.

I find plenty to keep my two busy and content whilst older two are at school but me? I am so fed up, my highlight is a trip to the supermarket. Can’t even have a chat on the school run now it’s shite. Was hoping to swim this week but alas the pool isn’t reopening yet. I turn 40 in a few weeks and was hoping to fulfill a lifelong ambition but that’s not going to happen either. Nothing else to add but your not alone.

WinterWhore · 01/12/2020 21:00

Hyperactive 3 year old all day who needs constant interaction then shes up coughing all night! Fucking drained isnt the word. Kill me now.

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