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Original poster

Dd not enjoying college course

14 replies

InCognitoZombie · 01/12/2020 10:01

Dd (16) isnt enjoying her chosen college course. I rang a different college up to see if there were spaces in what she now wants to do, but no more intake until September. Dd suffers anxiety and it is really stressing her out and she's refusing to go anymore. I'm not quite sure what the options are. Can anyone help? If she quits, will my child benefit stop? (Then be reinstated in sept) I never went to college so this is all alien to me. Thanks.

OP posts:
TeenPlusTwenties · 01/12/2020 10:07

Can you get her to carry on until the end of term, with the promise that over Christmas you can have some calm discussions?

If she drops out and does nothing then yes I think CB would cease, but I'm not certain.

Could she do an apprenticeship? They can start any time, though if it is one with day release to college that would be a September start anyway. Also getting one right now may be impossible.

Could she be persuaded to keep going with the promise she can restart in September? Then there is a good chance she would get a Certificate or Subsidiary Diploma after the first year if the college have ordered modules sensibly.

Otherwise usually I'd say get a part time job and restart, but under current conditions ….

Original poster
InCognitoZombie · 01/12/2020 10:47

She is saying she definitely doesn't want to continue Sad as that's what I said (keep going until july) I think she may have a touch of depression too (awaiting cahms apt) I just dont know what to do.

OP posts:
user1471505356 · 01/12/2020 10:51

Talk to her college, they may have an alternative course as a short term compromise.

Interested in this thread?

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16 year olds Families Higher education
GoldenNCurly · 01/12/2020 10:55

I went through a similar issue at university, I realised by the end of my first year that the course wasn't right for me. All my family and friends told me to stick at it and just obtain the degree. I absolutely hated it, became very depressed and withdrawn. I received a 2.1 but it took four years, a lot of stress and support from my partner. When I look back I wish I had changed course or dropped out and took time to really figure out what I wanted to do. My degree is pointless and if I ever want to return to academia I will have to fund it entirely.
Personally I think she should have some time off and figure out what she wants to do. She can get a job whilst she decides and help contribute. And then chose to return on a different course, at a different college or chose another route

PinkPlantCase · 01/12/2020 11:02

Can she articulate what she doesn’t like about it? I think that would be the first step to understanding what to do next.

Is it that the change from school to collage has been a shock to the system? Maybe she doesn’t have a solid group of friends yet. If you think depression and anxiety is part of it then to me the above seems more likely than the below -

Is there a specific things about the subject she’s studying that she doesn’t like?

Either way I think you really need to involve the college more, they might be a let it facilitate her changing subjects or put her on a reduced timetable or could be able to put a lot more support around her. The college might have a counsellor she can talk to. They really should work with you as they don’t want her to drop out either!

All the best x

TeenPlusTwenties · 01/12/2020 11:05

(We've been waiting 6 months for a CAMHS appointment. We have eventually gone private, but even that had a 2 month waiting list.)

Original poster
InCognitoZombie · 01/12/2020 11:08

The course is animal care, which in my opinion was absolutely suited to her as she had/s a lot of small furries she adored and looked after really well. She loved college at first, then 6 weeks into the course she lost all interest in it and the furries (I now have to look after them completely) When I ask her she says the course is boring and repetitive and she hates the biology side of things (shes very very squeamish)

I am going to be calling college today or tomorrow I'm just unsure what to say really. If I say the above, they might not want her there anyhow.

OP posts:
TeenPlusTwenties · 01/12/2020 11:12

Oh, don't say that. DD (y11) is aiming for Animal Care...

LIZS · 01/12/2020 11:16

Unless she has a strong alternative she should stick with it. What level is the course, does she have gcses in English and Maths etc? Her non attendance will soon become an issue for the college as funding depends on it and she cannot complete the course without meeting the minimum hours.

PinkPlantCase · 01/12/2020 11:19

Try and arrange a meeting with the college and your daughter to talk about it and what her options are. I don’t know how much they’ll interact with you as the parent without your daughter being involved.

Maybe they could help her get a placement?

It’s interesting that she’s gone from school that would have been very varied to this which is very vocational and probably is very repetitive! You know when you first start work and do similar things day to day and think ‘is this it now forever’ she might be having one of those moments.

Original poster
InCognitoZombie · 01/12/2020 11:35

Because she already has pets (we've 23 various critters) she knows a lot on how to keep them, so they're going over a lot of stuff she already knows. It's a level 3 course, she came out of school with levels 7,8,9s so passed everything. She wants to go to do music and english A levels at a closer college. Her current college is 25 mins drive away (which I take her to/from every time.)

She did make friends, but unsure what happened as they all wanted to meet up outside of college at a pub, whereas Dd isnt really up for stuff like that due to anxiety

OP posts:
PinkPlantCase · 01/12/2020 11:43

I’m a bit surprised she’s doing animal care if she got 7s-9s. I know a few people who did it but they were generally people who struggled academically in school but they were very good at animal care! Maybe it’s too easy for her.

A change to A levels will give her very different options in the future though it would probably be easier to change within the same college if they do A levels. Or give her old school a ring? If they have a 6th form.

RandomMess · 01/12/2020 11:46

Can she switch to do English A level at current college? With the aim to still restart it in September but so she can attend college?

She needs to be doing something else yes CB will stop. Not sure what happens if the Dr signs her off sick though.

TeenPlusTwenties · 01/12/2020 11:54

I'd be tempted based on your new info to let her drop out provided you/she have a plan for the next 7 months.
e.g.

  • practicing her instruments / doing some composition
  • reading English lit set texts
  • exercise regularly
  • other things for mental health

But she will need a 3rd A level. They won't let her just do 2.

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