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Original poster

Overeaters Anonymous

18 replies

SisterNight · 01/12/2020 09:14

Has anyone ever been? I'm wondering if it can help me. My husband messaged me telling me how scared he is that I'm going to die. I stop breathing in my sleep. My weight is out of control and I need help.

OP posts:
ThatIsNotMyUsername · 01/12/2020 09:15

Have you been to the doctor? Tried any weight loss regimes? This sounds like the trigger that will get you going.

Original poster
SisterNight · 01/12/2020 09:43

I've tried so many diets over the years and my weight just keeps increasing. I'm an emotional eater and my mental health has never been good. I had CBT last year that seemed to make me worse as I'd have a huge binge after each session. I've made a doctor's appointment to potentially discuss weight loss surgery as my BMI is in the high 40s and I'm scared I'm going to have a heart attack.

OP posts:
crochetmonkey74 · 01/12/2020 10:32

If you feel confident to tell us OP what do you weigh and what is your body type?
So for example, I am 17 stone, 5ft 2 and an apple shape- I take size 20 clothes- I am fairly healthy generally- can walk easily and run without getting too puffed out

My sis is 20 ston plus (also recovering from bingeing disorder), 5 ft 10 but her weight is all in her torso, including her neck- she finds breathing hard and is not as able to exercise etc- so when we lose weight- we have very diferring things that work for each of us- she likes high volume carbs, I like low carb and intermittent fasting- give us a few more details and I bet people here could help with some good suggestions

Mixitupalot · 01/12/2020 10:38

It’s so hard to lose weight when your an emotional eater, I speak from experience. I did eventually lose the weight but in all honestly it was addressing my emotional state that did the trick.

Also instead of saying I have 5 stone to lose, I took it in small sections, 5lbs at a time. That worked for me.

Original poster
SisterNight · 01/12/2020 12:18

I probably weigh close to 23 stone and I'm 5ft 11. I'm apple shaped too and carry most of my weight on my stomach.

OP posts:
crochetmonkey74 · 01/12/2020 12:39

Ok What sort of fitness are you generally- can you walk easily? Do you do any exercise already?

What is your eating like- so for example at my worst, I can skip meals and eat loads at night- my sis just eats way too much at every meal

TheProvincialLady · 01/12/2020 12:45

I have been to OA and it did help me with a different but related issue. It was a bit of a dysfunctional local group, so I didn’t stay for longer than about a year.

It sounds to me like you are at the point of accepting that a new diet or exercise isn’t going to solve your problems. I would try OA at the same time your own GP. Even if you do get bariatric surgery you still need to address what’s going on your head to make you binge when you have CBT. You don’t have to feel this bad all your life - you deserve better. Look after yourself and ask for the help you need.

Winegumaddict · 01/12/2020 12:57

OP I'm glad you've realised you want to make a change. I think it would be really important to get to the bottom of your emotional eating as without that even weight loss surgery can and probably will fail. I mean this kindly and I hope you can find something which works for you. Good luck.

crochetmonkey74 · 01/12/2020 13:14

sometimes tackling the big things can seem too much - that's why i was asking about the exercise- so for me, I found that just feeling better about myself in small increments helped- walk a bit further every day, or stairs instead of lift- this will not necessarily help the weight loss - but what it will do is you will prove to yourself that you can stick at something and invest in yourself.
I have found that the binge cycle is - binge, feel terrible, vow to never do it again, do it again, feel even worse as you can't stick to anything. If you can build yourself up to feeling you can trust and invest in yourself, then you will be stronger to tackle the really big stuff

tboo · 01/12/2020 13:20

I went to OA for 2 years. It was exactly what I needed to get better.
I didn't stay in the programme because it was too inflexible for me in the long run, but I am sure it's perfect for some people for far longer than 2 yrs.

It's voluntary. You can try it & see how it goes. The meetings must be all online anyway (for foreseeable future). They don't trap you, you get out of it what you put in. They are there to support you. I hope you'll give it a try.

awwkkwwaard · 01/12/2020 13:30

I attended OA but found the setup a bit weird - it was very "American" - just like you see for AA, 'My name is John and I overeat' and everyone said 'Hello John' Every time. Even if they were having a discussion that went back and forth, it was always 'my name is John and I overeat' 'Hello John' I found it bizarre. I went a few times but realised I would never be comfortable - although it did confirm what I thought I knew about myself. I too have tried everything - now I am on the 5:2 and I really think I can sustain this from now on. Lost 28lbs and, it feels, without really trying.

Original poster
SisterNight · 02/12/2020 11:28

The Americanism of it does put me off. No harm in trying a meeting I suppose.

OP posts:
ThatIsNotMyUsername · 02/12/2020 12:09

I think you have the motivation - you can see how you will help yourself and how your life will be better. This is a good start.

Try OA - if it doesn’t work what’s becaus it’s not the right one for you. You can do this - you really can.

Think about your goals. Overeating is something you can get control over.

You will have good days - and there will be bad days too. Thing of 2021 as your year. The year you take control over this! The year you get your health back. The year you take this thing by the scruff of its neck and drop kick it into the weeds! Whatever image you have, whatever name you give it - work with that.

Goof luck. Mumsnet is a good place to come to rand, cheer or moan.

Bedraggled2020 · 02/12/2020 12:27

It might be worth a try - I had/have a similar issue and have only been able to make progress with a really good specialist therapist on a one to one basis. It's been very hard work though and is going to take time. Also as it's essentially an addiction it's an ongoing recovery process - with food issues it's tricky of course as you can't give up food in the same way you can give up alcohol etc..

What I would say is that no diet/healthy eating plan etc is likely to work long term unless you deal with the underlying reasons for overeating - you'll get lots of good advice on here about how to lose weight, but ime the hardest part is getting into the right head space. Good luck Smile

Allthebubbles · 02/12/2020 12:45

Good luck with trying OA.
On a separate note, as you found CBT is not for everyone. It's very results focussed and can make you feel worse if you can't achieve it. A longer more reflective counselling process might be better for you.
Also if you have sleep apnoea I'd look at seeing if you can get one of those CPAP masks at night because not sleeping well and being tired all the time will definitely feed into over eating and low mood. It's a bit of a vicious cycle.

ThatIsNotMyUsername · 02/12/2020 12:53

You could try hypnotherapy. Again, not every treatment works on everyone but it can work to help you get in track.

Original poster
SisterNight · 02/12/2020 13:19

Thanks for all of your suggestions. I've got my gp calling me next week to talk things through. I plan on asking about counselling and weight loss surgery. I will join an OA meeting too.

OP posts:
Bettyfoureyes · 22/03/2023 21:18

I know this in an old thread, but I’m in a similar boat.

I’m wondering how you got on or are getting on?

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