Do any of your friends act like this?

[BestUsernameEverMade]

I'm not sure if this is normal or if I need to distance myself.

I have a relatively new friend I met at work. They are funny and caring and I enjoy their company (mostly).

The problem is there is another person who they are friendly with but I'm not. I don't dislike the other person but we just haven't became close like friends.

Anyway, whenever me and friend are together we talk about anything and can have a good laugh, but as soon as the other person is around things change.

My 'friend' will not laugh at my jokes. They direct their conversation towards their other friend and they often have what I call inside jokes that they openly say I wouldn't understand.

It's odd how they change as soon as the other person is around. It's like I'm not even there.

Then minutes after the other person has left, my 'friend' will be chatting and laughing like nothing happened.

I'm starting to feel paranoid that they are embarrassed to be friends with me. The fact they don't seem interested in me when that other person is around.

It just seems odd.

I wouldn't bother with that friend anymore tbh. Still be polite and civil, but don't waste any energy on getting closer to them.

I don't know if they're embarrassed to be friends with you or what may be going on, but it's not a great way to behave.

oh dear it reminds me of school playground politics! Your “friend” sounds immature and not very sincere.

This would put me off them personally

You'd be doing yourself harm (emotionally and mentally) by keeping in touch with this one. Please do yourself a favour (perhaps an early Christmas present), purposefully withdraw from her. Surround yourself with people who appreciate you in all settings. She sounds immature.

I can't stand people who blow hot and cold like this. I would slowly distance myself.

I knew someone at work like that. She used to feign anxiety for her rudeness and blanking people. Everyone thought she was nice but she used to exclude some people and be extra friendly and warm to some people in a way that an extrovert would. It was weird.
Soon enough the group wised up to her and started hanging out away from her.

People like that are usually jealous of you.

In her case she was jealous of my looks and because her work crush fancied me. In your case she may be insecure that you are more fun or the friends like you better.
Just dont let her win by pushing you away or making you the bad guy when you stand up for yourself. Pretend not to notice and continue to involve her.

I think your friend sounds insecure. I'm not excusing your friend's behaviour but if they are as caring as you say, it sounds like it could be that.

I would just think about that before writing off the friendship. It's not cool, but I can see why people might do this.