Come and join my pity party.. I've had enough

[cottonwoolbrain]

Been managing up to now but sitting on sofa in floods of tears... just worn down I suppose. I know there are lots of people doing far worse than me and I'm just a miserable git but this year has just seemed endless.

I'll be amazed if anyone reads this all the way through - turned out a bit longer than I intended.

Months of home education and lockdown and then tier 2 then lockdown and now it will be tier 3. I've not seen my mum since 2 days in the summer. Not seen my sister since last Christmas. My brother in law has been severely ill in the meantime and I've not been able to go to help and we don't know what will happen to him.

I made the mistake of looking at my pension and the value has plummeted - but that's ok because at this rate there'll be nothing to spend it on..

DD has had 20 days off school this term becasue of self isolating. Sure they're getting distance learning but she's lonely and miserable. What 15 year old wants to spend their own birthday in isololation? Its cold really cold so meeting up with friends in the park is hardly a great option. DS is 8 and just wants to have his friends round to play.

I'm so bored I took down the lamp shades and cleaned them I learnt I should do this more often

Only person who does not seem overly affected is DP who's just ace and gets on with things as if lockdown is merely a minor inconvenience and a great opportunity to learn Swedish

I want to see my mum, have my best friend round for a simple cup of coffee and go and give my sister a huge hug, look after her boys and give her a couple of days off... and I can't...

Oh and I'm so bored of cooking and want to go out for a meal - even Macdonalds would do just as long as I don't have to buy the ingredients, cook it or clean up afterwards (which is the problem with takeaways)

But what made me burst into tears... the final bl**dy straw... I dropped a glass and hurt my hand on the glass picking it up.

You've got the overwhelm. I got it last week. It was just shit. My twins turn 4 next week and I heard them planning a party... That broke me. I had to sit them down and explain it wouldn't be happening. I also haven't seen my dB and niece since last Christmas, and I zoomed them the other day and I'm missing her growing up. They live in a different county and usually visit every school hols ( he's a teacher). Crap, isn't it.

I hear you! It's been a bloody awful year and you've got it coming at you from all sides. So awful not to have seen your family too. The fact that other people are in the same boat doesn't make it any easier for you. Could you possibly ask your husband to organise dinner, pour you some wine and watch a Christmas movie with the kids? Delegation is key if were all going to get through December. My motto at the moment seems to be "Everybody's fed up but I'm not doing all this on my own!" Hope you feel better tomorrow.

@Bubbletrouble43

Do your twins go to nursery or preschool? Could they have a party there in their bubble? My DS came home yesterday wearing a party hat with a packet of sweets and said they had a party. I think the kinds even blew out candles on a fake cake?

@cottonwoolbrain

Yes I’m with you, feeling miserable this week as well. Just heard we are going into tier 3 as well doesn’t help. I’m sorry you’re feeling crap.

I haven't seen my mum in over a year! Rubbish, isn't it?

I completely sympathise and am feeling the same this week, especially since my area ended up in bloody tier 3 so after next week there's no real change for me. I had been focusing on getting to the end of lockdown....for what?

The things I had originally tried to do to cheer myself up (buying frivolous shit, nice food & wine, log fire) are no longer making me happy.

My mum was in hospital with Covid last week and it was bloody scary. She's home and recovering now thankfully but it was horrible. Am doing nothing but argue with my husband at the moment to the point that I don't even want to sit in the same room as him.

My brother has invited us for Christmas but husband thinks it's 'too risky' so there we go, another row. And if I have to spend Christmas day just looking at his face I swear I will go mad.

Anyway not trying to have a pity competition, just know that you're not alone. Have a large glass of whatever your favourite drink is later and try to block out the shit - that would be my advice!

I’m feeling completely deflated this week as well. We are (supposedly) moving to Portugal next year which sounds exciting but we have sent 95% of our belongings to Portugal already and downgraded our 3 bed house to a tiny flat. I knew it would be a bit shit with all the furniture provided by the landlord (poor quality/ uncomfortable beds and sofas really don’t help during lockdown) and lack of space but I thought we could do it. I’m absolutely hating it. And I’m missing all my nice things.

The flat above us going through complete renovation which we didn’t know would be happening and it goes on until 8-9pm sometimes. We’ve spoken to them twice already but they’re just the contractors hired by the landlord so have no interest in keeping us sweet; they won’t be our neighbours, they just want to get the job done. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’ve been okay until this week but I’ve hardly showered, don’t want to eat anything, can’t even summon the energy to do small things like a little bit of tidying up or stick a load of washing on, never mind getting ready and going for a walk or doing a jigsaw or read!

Sending good vibes to everyone on this thread.

@Bubbletrouble43

You've got the overwhelm. I got it last week. It was just shit. My twins turn 4 next week and I heard them planning a party... That broke me. I had to sit them down and explain it wouldn't be happening. I also haven't seen my dB and niece since last Christmas, and I zoomed them the other day and I'm missing her growing up. They live in a different county and usually visit every school hols ( he's a teacher). Crap, isn't it.

That is adorable!

@cottonwoolbrain Sorry, nothing useful to add, but... isoLOLation - Freudian slip?!