How can I make myself fall asleep while DH is still up?

[denfit]

I know this seems like such a silly question, but here is my issue.

DH is a key worker and his workload right now is through the roof. He'll come home from work, have some dinner and watch tv/read the news for an hour or so to decompress, and then continue working from home.

He can be up until midnight, but last night he came up to bed at 1:45am. It's shocking but it sounds like all his colleagues are under the same pressure (he's also worked all of the last few weekends).

The problem is, that I just find it impossible to go to sleep unless DH is in bed with me. I always have. I'm one of those people who can never nap or 'drop off,' even if I'm really tired! I just lie there until he comes up! The only way I've found is to take a Nytol which then makes me fall asleep, but obviously that's not sustainable.

I also think a bit of the problem might be that I feel so sorry for DH, that I stay up late and either bring he hot drinks/snacks, or just sort of sit in the same room with him while he's working, as though out of solidarity. He's working so hard for us and I would feel bad to waltz upstairs at 10:30!

Any ideas please?

I dont think you should feel guilty op, you work too. Your DH chooses to stay up to continue working, he may feel like he has to but it is still a choice he makes.
Can you ask him to compromise and finish his work earlier? A better work-life balance for your DH will improve his sleep, mental health and productivity.

Maybe it doesn't bother him but it would drive me absolutely mental if DH insisted on being in the same room with me when I work late at night - you just want to crack on and get with it! The odd cup of tea, sure, as long as it's delivered without chatter!

I'm going through the same OP! My dh was on furlough all through the Summer while I was working from home. He's recently been made redundant and found a new job but it's shift work, so some days up at 5am and other days in late but home about 11.30pm and I just can't settle. I also had a miscarriage in October so recognise my anxiety levels are high anyway.

I've never struggled to sleep, usually as soon as my head hits the pillow I'm off, but I can't settle until he comes to bed. I tried some gentle music the other night but was still wide awake when he came to bed about 12.30, the second he got into bed is the last thing I remember because then I slept soundly after that.

So just a post in solidarity! 🌸