For a birthday near Christmas- which one to give “big present” for?

[LittleRa]

DP’s birthday is 16th December. It’s not a “big” birthday this year (i.e. not 30th, 40th etc). I’ve got him one “big” present- an Apple Watch (an older model, not the ridiculously expensive newest one, but still), plus a few smaller things- a hoodie, a board game, large bar of his favourite chocolate.

Should I give the big present for his birthday or for Christmas (and then the smaller presents for the other one)?

"Everyone" gets presents at Christmas, so I agree and would give the big gift on his birthday, a day that is just his.

Big gift for birthday. It is earlier so he gets more use our of it! Also, ime only partners and parents tend to mark birthdays with a present, whereas people tend to get Xmas presents from a lot of people.

For ours the biggest gift is always for the birthday. Everyone else gets to feel special on their birthday, why should Xmas over-ride this particular dc's birthday?

My DS has a December Birthday , he's 21 this year .

We always did non-joint presents until his 18th ( he got a big TV) and this year he wanted a Fender Strat +amp+pedal+cables +case

As he's old enough to not sulk he had his guitar early . His choice
So he won;t have many presents to open -couple of small things .

I'm glad he chose , it took a whole lot of angst off our minds . Otherwise we'd have just given him money , rather than things .

Agree birthday (NYE baby here!)

However the watch see massively disproportionate in cost or heat he got you - which is fine but will he then feel he has make it up to you?

My DSs birthday is 2 weeks before Christmas and I've always got him 2 big presents (so one for each) because I've always thought that if he was born any other time I would do it like that. I appreciate its different when you are doing it for someone other than your child

I'm NYE baby too and people forget my birthday or make it an afterthought. Joint presents, presents in Christmas wrapping paper etc.

Make a fuss of the birthday. Mine's a big one this year and I'm hoping people remember and I least get some cards.

DHs birthday is 20th December I give the big present for his birthday as we usually both do littler fun things for Xmas for each other.

If we had traditionally given big presents at Xmas then he'd get 2 big presents within 5 days of each other.

In your case I'd go for the watch for his birthday. People must have a lot more money than me if they could splash out £800 on anyone a year and that's before there's a new baby to get ready for!

@LittleRa I'm sure he'll be happy and hope you have a lovely day.

@MrsJonesAndMe Thank you

I’ve taken what people have said about big presents for both on board but I think the majority of people (many of whom have December birthdays) seem to be saying big present for the birthday, as that’s his day. So I’m going to give him the Apple Watch for his birthday. Also, as I mentioned upthread we usually go to Manchester Christmas Markets for his birthday so I’m going to set up a little “Christmas market at home” with bratwurst, mulled cider, European flags up, hot chocolate etc
For Christmas he’s getting a board game (Task Master one), a hoodie and a pair of shorts of the American sports team he likes, his favourite chocolate with name personalised on the box and and a “Daddy and Me” baby socks set (matching socks for him and the baby) so although it’s less financially than the Apple Watch, it’s more individual things to open and still a pretty good haul I’d say

I'm laughing at the idea that adults always get big presents at birthday and Christmas.

Both DH and I will buy each other a "big" present if there's something (like an Apple watch) that one of us wants or needs, but neither of us would go out just to spend an equivalent amount for the sake of buying a big present.

Some years DH gets a watch, some years he gets a coconut.

Birthday for the big present this year.

@BecomeStronger Coconut

[quote LittleRa]@BecomeStronger Coconut [/quote]
DH still remembers that as his best ever Christmas present. Something he loves but rarely has and wouldn't have thought of buying for himself. Why does it always have to be about ££££?

@BecomeStronger Definitely agree. Probably part of the reason I’m unsure and asking for opinions is that we don’t usually go in for big “flashy” presents- gadgets etc. This Apple Watch is the first time I’ve got him a big physical present like that (as I said, usually get weekends away, hotel stays etc). He’s not particularly flashy or into labels etc, he doesn’t usually wear a watch as he plays sports so doesn’t wear any jewellery. But during lockdown he’s been tracking our walks on his iPhone and had briefly mentioned getting a Fitbit.
Definitely agree about smaller more personal presents. I can remember doing him one of those chocolate bar message things early on in our relationship, where you use the chocolate bar names to make words as part of your message eg “I just wanted to take some TIME OUT to let you know you’re out of the GALAXY and deserve a BOOST” A bit cheesy but you get to eat all the chocolate!!

I'm a December birthday and would prefer the bigger birthday gift.