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I've been mistaken for a man at work

33 replies

reducingfootprint · 25/11/2020 15:52

Emailed an external 3rd party to ask for something for a project, i have spoken to him over the phone weeks prior, i sound like a woman (because i am!)

fast forward to yesterday i emailed asking for said thing, he replied and copied in some more people as they had the info and in the email referred to me as 'he' and 'his'. i have a female name but it is sometimes mispronounced as a males name, think Louise and then being called Louis. The subject matter was engineering related if that matters.

He is in west coast USA so i have woken up to a thread of emails where they all think i am a man!!! is it to late now to email them back saying "btw i am a she" when i need to set up a group call and they see i am in fact a woman, would it be awkward for them?

OP posts:
CorvusPurpureus · 25/11/2020 18:51

Oh I've done this. I've booked an annual event 5 times with a contact called let's say 'Sam'. We are on different continents - Sam sends people out to me to run training events.

Each time our inefficient accounts office has failed to pay on time, so Sam emails me as the event booker, I bollock accounts, it (eventually) gets sorted.

This time the event had been cancelled due to corona, months ago. Turns out poor Sam hadn't been paid for expenses incurred, & sent me a mildly grumpy email.

I'd absolutely had enough with accounts being bloody useless, & fired off a rant to them, copying Sam in, & pointing out that this does nothing for our international reputation as an organisation '...& frankly I think it's unacceptable, as Sam has to chase us up every time; I'm sure she has better things to do, & she's providing us with a great service & we are not behaving respectfully to a business partner by letting her down repeatedly like this in the matter of prompt payment'.

Response from Sam: 'thanks Corvus. Btw. I'm a Samuel 😂'

I've been chatting to the bloke online several times a month for half a decade!

He was definitely amused, not offended (& he got his money that day & emailed politely to thank me).

I don't think it's anything to make a big deal of?

DontGoIntoTheLongGrass · 25/11/2020 19:00

I've got loads as dealt with a lot of people in different countries where some of the names I hadn't heard before so couldn't be sure.

One was called Ukie from somewhere like Austria. Email address was Ukie.company [email protected]. Never spoken to them via phone but always email started "Hi Ukie." Assumed it was a guy??

A long time, years later, noticed a name at the bottom of the email was a different name like Susan. I was like where's Ukie gone? Did he leave??

No! Ukie never existed. The email address was UK-ie Grin funny thing is Susan never corrected me on it and let me go along with it for years haha.

user17425642134531 · 25/11/2020 19:05

Ukie is brilliant Grin

Ohdear2020 · 25/11/2020 19:13

You could add your preferred pronoun to the bottom of your email signature. Plenty of big companies have that nowadays. Might allow you to correct the record without making it a big deal?

I have had this before as I have a similar name. A client gave me a french man’s name. Why.

Bakeachocolatecaketoday · 25/11/2020 19:18

I work for a company that is a man's name (think John Lewis but much less well known).

I always intoduce myself as "I'm Bake from John Lewis" and without fail the response is "Hi John" despite me having a very femmale name and sounding female

Gncq · 25/11/2020 19:27

Do NOT start doing "pronoun signatures", that is a slippery slope.

Just shrug it off. "Misgendering" is not a big deal. Let them find out soon enough!

Brody77 · 25/11/2020 19:43

Ha I had a patient once who swore blind they had seen a male clinician previously so doubting myself I looked in the notes again- no that was me you’ve seen for the last year- oh dear, yes I do wear a lot of ppe and I have lost a bit of weight maybe that was it Confused. I look female though I’m tallish and on the big side and sound female.... I hopeBlush

fucknuckle · 25/11/2020 20:35

i once worked for a norwegian company. the short form of my name that i use is male in most of Scandinavia.

i met some very confused people over the years.

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