Leaving baby anxiety

[DaisyLady1]

I was due to do a week long course (9-6, Mon to Fri) in April this year (when I would have been 6 months pregnant) but due to covid it has been postponed to January 2021. Initially I thought this was fine as DD will be 6 months old by then and it would actually work out better. (Little did I know how attached I would be to my new baby!)
Fast forward to now and I am totally freaking about about leaving her. We have no family nearby so DH parents are planning to fly over to look after DD but now as the time approaches, I am beyond stressed about it.
I have asked the course if I can postpone to a date later in the year (they have courses in the summer) to which they have said no and if I don't go then I forfeit the £1000 fee I have already paid.

My main concerns are:
*DD is EBF, she occasionally has an
expressed bottle from DH but it's always a big drama as she doesn't like it.
*One of DHs parents is on the vulnerable list and I feel terrible the thought of them taking a flight which could potentially risk them with covid.
*DD hasn't spent any time with PIL due to begging abroad so won't she wonder why she has been left with strangers?
*I am suffering with anxiety about going out as it is and the thought of leaving DH is making me feel very panicky. Lockdown/becoming a new mum has had a huge effect on my confidence and I only really feel safe at home looking after DH.

I can't afford to lose £1000 and the course is to help me get a qualification for my career so really I need to go but not sure how to deal with this all.

Not sure why I've written this, just looking for any words of wisdom or anyone who has been in some sort of similar situation.

In case anyone suggests - DH is unable to take that week off work as it is their busiest period and holiday has been rejected.

Thanks for reading if you've got this far!

Is it possible for someone at work to take your dates for the course and then rebook yourself at a later date?

I worries myself silly about similar. Looking back I had terrible post natal anxiety.
I'm not saying you have that.
Id say being away from baby for a week is quite long. Different if it was a night or two.
I would be surprised if course goes ahead tbh as we may well in post Christmas restrictions.

If you DO absolutely have to go it will be fine and you may actually enjoy it!

I guess you could make a list of positive steps that could make you feel prepared. Getting her more used to bottles might be a good idea.

Honestly if I could escape my kids for a week I'd jump at it haha!

Tbh I would kick off about this. Its not your fault it got rearranged. Not like you cancelled yourself. Reply saying your baby can't be left due to being ebf so if you can't attend a summer one then baby needs to come along. See what they say!

Is it a residential course or will you be home for evenings and nights?

Might be worth checking the terms that you signed up to when you booked, as if you didn't actually choose the January date (presumably they bumped you to there when the first one was cancelled) they may be incorrect in saying you can't postpone. It's worth a look anyway.

I would be very surprised if this event isn't cancelled as it was back in April.

Thanks for your replies.

@Bryna it's a private course that I booked for myself as looking to start a new career. I originally booked it for April when I was pregnant so there wasn't any issues for childcare at that stage.

@TenShortStories it's a day course so realistically I will be gone from 8am until about 7pm so I can feed when I get home.
Definitely worth checking my terms again though.

I think I will contact them again tomorrow and explain I booked this course purposefully before my baby was born so there wouldn't be any need for child care. I know they had to re arrange the course due to covid and at the time, Ii didn't make any sort of fuss about it. I think the least they could do is let me swap to another date, even as a gesture of goodwill surely!

@User56770987 I'm going to look up postnatal anxiety as I think this could be something I am potentially suffering with. I feel like I'm being overboard about everything... or maybe its first time mum nerves.

When I spoke to them today, they said course will 100% go ahead as they have been running since August as it comes under 'education' so is allowed to continue. I don't even want to sit in a room with strangers as it is at the moment anyway...wish they would cancel!

@MsChatterbox good point about bringing EBF baby along, will say that if they say I can't swap! Also there is the issue of pumping as well. They would have to provide me with a private room.

Another point, I was exactly the same with my son. He's 3 now and I have no problem leaving him. I'm exactly the same with my new baby now... I just embrace it.

Although your husband can’t take holiday he should be entitled to take parental leave to help take care of your baby and perhaps he and the baby could come with you. Details of the parental leave rules here: www.gov.uk/parental-leave

Have you asked to Zoom into the course?