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Original poster

Is your Year 6 child on WhatsApp?

64 replies

EffYouSeeKaye · 23/11/2020 22:21

I’m assuming they must be, as my ds is the ONLY one in his class who isn’t, so he tells me. He has a phone but no SIM. He has a few family members saved in his contacts and he can iMessage/ FaceTime them.

I am trying to hold out for high school before allowing him a SIM and to join WhatsApp groups with his friends but I’m starting to think I am some old dinosaur and being unreasonable.

I’d appreciate some more opinions on this, as I’m feeling a bit stuck between a rock and a hard place.

OP posts:
copernicium · 23/11/2020 22:40

Older DD had it when she was younger than when DS was allowed it. (Various complicated reasons, DS never needed it.) No problems ever with DD using it.

DS was allowed it in Y6. It caused sooo many arguments, it was taken off him so many times that now he's in Y7 he isn't allowed it back!

Neighneigh · 23/11/2020 22:41

Nope. Year6 Ds has a few friends with phones and a few with Instagram etc but they tend to be the ones with older siblings or are close to older cousins, which I think influences them a lot. We will probably get ours a phone for his 11th birthday in April as he may not go to the same high school as a few of his mates. He has asked for one but we've said he doesn't need it, he has a laptop and talks (and messages, although it's mostly what Roblox to join) online there, monitored by me, as it's my laptop and he plays in the kitchen so I can keep an eye.

MsAwesomeDragon · 23/11/2020 22:45

My year 6 dd has a phone with a SIM. She has WhatsApp, and Snapchat. I want her to be able to communicate with her friends. I also insist on close monitoring of her chats though. I would know within a day if she or he friends were misusing it, and have no problems telling her friends parents if there is a problem of any sort.

I think sometimes we wait too long before allowing kids these things, as by the time they're allowed them they are also wanting privacy. Any child needs guidance in how to use social media wisely. The problem comes when kids are allowed these apps without any form of parental supervision.

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InglouriousBasterd · 23/11/2020 22:46

Yes - monitored. She got her phone during lockdown as she was horribly lonely and it was a lifesaver for her - it’s also now handy as she walks to and from school and messages me / calls when she’s leaving etc. Also very handy when she’s at her dad’s house. She doesn’t have any other social media! Some of her friends do and the fallout has been terrible - especially with TikTok.

milkysmum · 23/11/2020 22:48

Yes, my daughter has just got into y7 but I would say it's been the norm here for children to have phone for past year or so. All have WhatsApp etc..

TW2013 · 23/11/2020 22:49

Yes because during lockdown that was the main way his class stayed in touch and we felt it was better for his wellbeing to have it and chat with his friends. We do check it and discuss things on there, he isn't checking it all the time. In someways it is good to use it in yr6 where we know all the parents and help him ride above the little squabbles. In yr7 virtually all the children in secondary school had it, though to be honest it is most of the children already in yr6. Any messing and it goes away. We have a brick phone which goes out and about with no Internet so even if his smart phone were taken away we can still keep in touch with him.

DoThePropeller · 23/11/2020 22:49

No, my Y8 DD has only just been able to download it. WhatsApp itself suggest it’s not suitable for under 16s but we came up against organised groups taking place on it so have gone for close monitoring but absolutely not in year 6.

When DD was in y6 there were multiple issues with groups, plenty of letters home from school. In y7 someone random - added by god knows who - sent porn to the year wide WhatsApp group. I was v.glad at the time that I had held off!

MeringueCloud · 23/11/2020 22:50

Remember sitting in a cold hallway chatting on the one and only home telephone, playing with the curly cord? Grin

JM10 · 23/11/2020 22:53

Yes. She knows we can check her messages at any time. We do check them daily.

MarthasGinYard · 23/11/2020 22:54

Only since lockdown

An old phone with a sim in

Only has 6 people on WhatsApp

BackforGood · 23/11/2020 22:54

I don't have dc in that age group anymore, but, if you believe a child who says "Everyone else {insert 'is allowed to' or 'has' or 'doesn't have to' etc}....." , then you have lost it as a parent.

I remember when I was at school "Everyone else" was allowed to stay up and watch Starsky and Hutch Wink

AlwaysLatte · 23/11/2020 22:55

Our oldest was in Y6. He had a mobile phone for his 11th birthday in January . Youngest has his 11th in July so won't be able to have WhatsApp much in Y6. It was mostly ok, they went a bit mad at first and occasionally there were reprimands here and there among the group about language, content etc (nothing too bad) but he grew out of it and hardly used it past mid Y7. He uses his phone mostly for chatting to friends while gaming now.

KindKylie · 23/11/2020 22:59

No. My dd is yr 6 and I don't think many in her yr group has a phone (that they use for anything other than music etc). I gave dd my old phone in lockdown without a sim in so she could access the emails about school work and do basic research for assignments etc as the laptop was in hot demand. She now uses it for audio books via the online library apps. She does not have any social media and AFAIK no one else does, so no need.

The friends who have given in to phones and sm elsewhere have had all sorts of bullying and shared screenshot issues, plus dd's cousin has been exposed to nasty porn via insta and threats of violence on Snapchat so I'm keen to hold out as long as poss.

Wincher · 23/11/2020 23:00

Mine doesn’t, he is summer born and I’m thinking we will get him a phone for his 11th birthday so not before then. Some of his friends have phones and use whatsapp but he’s not really asked for one. I mainly know this because my friends who have kids in his year have sometimes been asking for other kids to message them when they’ve been off school isolating! Some friends decided to let their kids have phones for their 10th birthdays as they mainly fell within lockdown, but for me it’s a genie I don’t want to let out of the bottle just yet.

GalaxyCookieCrumble · 23/11/2020 23:01

My Year 5 is not and he certainly will not be, he was on snapchat until he was getting messages and stupid stuff being sent at midnight by boys in his class, so I deleted the app and tbh he is not even bothered.

CallmeAngelina · 23/11/2020 23:04

It's all very well until we school staff get all the fall-out and are expected by parents to sort it all out.

Iggly · 23/11/2020 23:04

Yes. I’m not sure I understand the issue - they can do pretty much the same on messenger/texting.

No social media though, no way.

EekThreek · 23/11/2020 23:05

Yes, my Y6 DD has whatsapp. She doesn't have her own phone, she uses the family spare (my old iphone which we put a payg sim in for when she went on a residential weekend with her hobby a couple of years ago).

During lockdown she was struggling without contact with her friends, so she was mainly using iMessage, but a couple of her closer friends have Android so WhatsApp allows her to keep in touch with them. They mainly use it for video calls while they're playing Minecraft (whyyy???)

No major dramas so far, but she and her friends seem generally sensible about it - I know that will pop at some point though!

Newuser991 · 23/11/2020 23:07

With regards to reading the messages you know WhatsApp cannot be traced.

Nothing shows on a bill.

Messages and calls can be deleted.

If you use text they show up on an itemised bill.

alphajuliet123 · 23/11/2020 23:07

Yes, she did have it in year 6, but only for family and a couple of close friends until lockdown happened, at which point I allowed group chats with children she knew, which I monitored a lot.

To be honest, the crazy amount of Whatsapp chats she has been added to since starting secondary school, I am pleased she at least had a few months for the novelty to wear off a bit and for her to learn how to deal with annoying/inappropriate people and topics, while I had more control over it all.

Countdowntonothing · 23/11/2020 23:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 23/11/2020 23:16

No, they had phones just before starting secondary and no social media or WhatsApp until 13. They rarely use it though and would live without it easily.

EssexGurl · 24/11/2020 07:52

My DD is now Y7 but had in Y6. Some bullying issues in the class (not DDs friends) so school asked parents to monitor. We did that anyway. Her group chats were very boring!

Stompythedinosaur · 24/11/2020 09:59

Both my dc have WhatsApp, they are y5 and y3. We are fairly relaxed about tech in the house (have never limited screen time and find the dc self-regulate ok). They know they arent allowed to add friends beyond the ones we've agreed. They use it to chat to their friends.

I've never regretted it and it was a lifesaver over lockdown. Equally there is nothing wrong with saying no. Lots of dd1's friends have tiktok and Instagram, both of which we don't allow.

SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 24/11/2020 10:00

No. DS only has a basic phone that does texts and calls. He's not complained so far.

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