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New bloke red flags

31 replies

Neptuneia · 23/11/2020 11:35

Friend told us recently that she'd met someone. He is working overseas but UK citizen and the plan was to meet when he's home on leave. It's all very whirlwind-y full on with gifts being sent and proclamations of love and it's only been 2 months.

They met on social media. She has a public account and he started liking her posts and then contacted her and they got chatting. She said they video chat for hours each day. She has a young DC and the DC sometimes features on the social media. I've felt a bit funny about this too, as predators can lurk on these sites. Her DC has also spoken to this man when they've done video chats. I feel it's a bit much "introducing" them when they've not even met in real life yet. He is divorced and has DC of his own.

He is home now and going to be meeting my friend at her house... Her DC is in school. I'm a bit nervous. Surely a coffee shop or other public place would have been safer to scope him out first but she's jumping in with both feet. She's basically acting like they're a proper couple but I know that things aren't real until you actually meet. Am quite nervous about this guy's intentions, lots of red flags. He also doesn't appear to have a proper home to go to having split with his wife, so I'm having visions of him turning up with all his belongings! He's already told her he'd be happy to move to her area... Maybe it'll be fine and a "you just know" situation and they'll be together properly as a couple but it just feels a bit weird and quick and dodgy. Other friend thinks so too.

OP posts:
Neptuneia · 23/11/2020 18:41

Maybe he'll be a gentleman and leave things as they are for now? You'd think so anyway. I can't imagine inviting someone I'd just met to stay over when I had little kids at home, no matter what "connection" we had. It's called being sensible. The DC are under 10.

I have another friend who met a guy on a night out and he shacked up with her the very next day. Full on relationship and they were planning to get married less than a year later before she found out he was shagging other blokes. She had no kids though so it was only herself who got hurt.

OP posts:
Nikhedonia · 23/11/2020 18:50

The DC are under 10.

SadSad totally inappropriate and a safeguarding risk. WTF is she doing?!

BlueThistles · 23/11/2020 18:55

he was shagging other blokes.

is this a typo 😱

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Neptuneia · 23/11/2020 19:43

Hopefully she'll see sense. I haven't asked if he's staying over.

Yes, cheated on her with multiple blokes. He had older brothers who were already married, perhaps he felt pressure to conform. Awful for my friend though.

OP posts:
gettingusedtothelimelight · 24/11/2020 16:01

@Neptuneia Well ... how did last night pan out?

Neptuneia · 24/11/2020 22:22

I haven't spoken to her today so don't know if he actually stayed over. I might check in in a day or two.

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