Bedrooms

[Keek99]

Ok so im new here. Please no judgement. Im looking for advice. I have 3 kids. 2 boys 1 girl. The biggest room in our house had a partition wall and door put on to make a forth room so my sons didn't have to share. They have their own space. Have done for about 5 years now. I sleep in the weirdest shape room in the house. My king-size bed barely fits it and I just hate it. I have no zen space for me. I want to make them share again and claim back the biggest room in the house as my room. Is this selfish as a mother. Do I leave them where they are? I give my kids my all so they without a doubt get everything I can give them before I give to myself. My mental health has took the worst hit this year as has alot of parents but I just feel I need my own escape and would love to transform the big room for myself. Help me. The guilt is real x

How old is each child?

Boys are 7 and 11. Daughter is 5.

What age are the kids?
Do they get on?

Could you get a smaller bed to make your space more pleasant?

If it's a really weird shaped room that won't fit your bed will it fit 2 kids in?

Could you swap with your daughter so the boys can keep their own space too?

Well its a very narrow bedroom so I've got it all planned in my head to have built in highsleepers with gaming stations underneath. They get in very well but just feel they will hate me for taking away their personal spaces xx

Realistically it won't do them any harm, my own DS(14) and DD(7) have only just got their own rooms this year and although there were riots and issues with privacy etc we just had to get on with it whilst we could.

It doesn't make you a bad parent but I would try to work around it if possible.

Only figuring out how to reply properly sorry. Thankyou for your advice

I think a smaller bed would make your room more usable/spacious? Can you post a pic so we could maybe give you some ideas?
My boys share and are 9 and 13. Thankfully we are finally moving and they will get thier own rooms. I think they really need their own space now and it will makes h a difference to them.
I only sleep/get dressed etc in my room and DH the same as obviously have the whole of downstairs once the kids have gone to bed! So would sacrifice my space for the kids as it’s more important to them.

Obviously many dc have to share, and that is the way it is.
I think it would be very different though, to make two people share, who don't need to, and haven't been used to sharing, just because you've chosen to have a bed that is too big for the room.

If space around the bed is important to you, I'd have thought getting a smaller bed was the way forward.

Generally speaking, adults tend to only spend time in their rooms when they are asleep, whereas children - and 100% more so as they move into their teens - spend much of their waking hours in their rooms to.
I think you'd be creating all sort of issues expecting them to share when they don't need to.

I'd just get yourself a double bed. You need more room so don't have a kingsize bed

I think you will struggle to keep your boys happy if you decide to make them share because they won't understand your reasons. Your room of zen could be replaced with more fighting and arguing with your boys.

Is there anyway you could make your current room feel nicer for you eg smaller bed, a paint job, new bedding and curtains?

Is it just you in your room?
If it was just me, I'd rearrange it and take the hit on the bed size.

If I was sharing, reducing the bedsize would ruin my sleep so the benefits of swapping rooms changes.

At 7 & 11, it's not a great time to make them swap back to room sharing. Mine shared until 6 & 8 and the 8yo was clearly needing his own space and we had to charge through a project of doing up the box room and constructing a bed for him.