How do you know if its PND?

[OhToBeASeahorse]

Just that really

How do you know its PND vs tiredness/normal new baby anxiety?

Thanks

In my experience PND included a lot of self-blaming, self-diminishing thoughts. Spiral thoughts that I could not break out of.

How old is the baby?

6 weeks

Mine wasn't recognised until my baby was 8 months, I was spiralling more and more, it was awful.

Google the Edinburgh Scale to get an idea. It's the PND test. Score will give you an idea of whether it could be PND.

I decided I'd had enough of a constantly crying baby and no support from my husband and the solution was to go to the nearest railway bridge and jump off it.
Unfortunately due to all sorts of shit happening before dc was born and after, I no longer have a relationship with them.
I did the Edinburgh scale and was put on prozac/fluoxetine.

I'm sorry to hear that @Gingaaarghpussy

I would say if things dont feel better once you have slept well. If you are feeling low for days at a time, with me i felt teary but also really really angry and irritable a lot not with the baby but just in general. I just didnt feel myself.had a few irrational thoughts but i knew they were irrational so was able to push them back. Finally went to the doc and feeling alot better then i did. I hope you start to feel better soon op. Have you much real life support? Sleep deprivation is awful in itself even if its not pnd. X

6w is still very early. Exhaustion is reasonable. Self-doubts are reasonable. Anxiety is reasonable. But if these feelings are constant, and are not eased by sleep or support, and if the feelings escalate and you feel they could overwhelm you, then it's time to go to the dr or the HV. Help is available. It's OK to tell them how you feel. Nobody will judge you for it. You'd be amazed how many women have PND.

Do you feel like you’ve bonded with your baby?

@Shutupyoutart thing is I dont know when I'll get a proper rest. DD doesnt settle for DH snd everytime we try it's like she is suddenly hungry.

I did enjoy making.biscuits.with my son on sunday. That was the last thing

Yes indo feel.bonded I'm.just overhwelmed by the intensity. She is in the sling all the time and resists sleep.

Op you sound exhausted. i really feel for you. Its a tough time esp when your breastfeeding and they just want you. Does she sleep in her pram? Can dh take her for a long walk in her pram so you can get your head down for a couple of hours? . It is so tough i know esp when you have other children to care for too but do try and sleep any chance you get even if its for an hour here and there. Hang in there it will get better as she gets older and goes longer between feeds. Glad you enjoyed spending time with your son :) sorry i dont have much advice but lots of sympathy. If those low feelings dont get any better any time soon i would pop along to the doc for a chat cos i could well be pnd but it does sound from what you've said that you are completely shattered and that wont help with low mood at all. xx

Congratulations on your baby.
I have posted about this many times on here over the years. I didnt know. I just thought I was a shit mum. I couldn't bond with her. I made all the right noises and tied myself in knots to cook and clean and inside was trying to think of ways to persuade my husband to put her in care.
Speak to your midwife/GP. Tiredness is a fucker but if there is anything else underlying that, you do not have to suffer.
My relationship with dd is brilliant but the first 6 months were so awful and they didnt need to be.

Thank you for sharing your experiences.
I do feel bonded to her. I don't feel like I'm faking but but i dont understand what could benefit enjoyable at the moment. She gets overtired so so easily and fights sleep. Yesterday she was awake from 4.30pm to 11.30pm with only 40 mins of sleep in that time. I spent those 7 hours during everything I could to get her to sleep. When I tried to think 'I'll give up and watch some TV' she was just hysterical.

She doesnt like the car seat or pram yet. The only way she naps is in the sling and then I'm constantly trying to keep her rested rather than woken up by me bending over or coughing or whatever.

The dr has given me gaviscon for reflux which I'll try today but I really dont think the symptoms add up and neither did he. I've given up dairy and paid for a TT check- she was fine.

I dont feel irrationally sad I just dont know how to do this. I need someone to help me.

Sorry for the typos

That sounds so tough. And defo sounds if something is bothering her if she doesnt want to lay flat and only sleep in the sling. Is this a recent thing op or has she been difficult to settle since birth? Does she sleep in cot at night(when she does sleep) or with you? Is she exclusively bf or will she take a bottle? Im not saying its not pnd because it could be but it sounds like its mostly because you are so exhausted. 2 of my little ones were like this too so i know how hard it is it does get better i promise i know that doesn't help u now. Mine liked white noise we used to put hair dryer sounds on our phones to settle them when they got like that.

Thank you. She sleeps on her back at night happily (tho has to be asleep first). Thing is she isnt unhappy on her back, she just wont sleep and then gets overtired. It's like the moment she wakes up a stopwatch starts

Is she in the sling alot during the day? Does she have a little bouncy chair to sit in? Its funny isnt it how such tiny little people can be so strong willed. Mine liked to fight sleep too. Youngest still does at times lol. My advice would be if shes in the sling a lot to just gradually get her used to being lay down /sat down in her chair with dh ect at her most content not sleepy times where she can see/hear you and knows your there and she will get familar with it being a cosy safe place maybe even put a top that smells like you beside her. Or have you heard of those my hummy teddy's? I never had one with mine but have heard great things about them. Sorry if these are all things u have already tried.

I thought I didn't have PND and nor did anyone else because I was so closely bonded to my baby. I didn't share the fact that I was so closely bonded I barely slept for fear that he would suddenly die, became convinced when he was a bit older that he would crawl out the (locked) bedroom window and used to literally look out into the pavement in front of my house to check he hadn't fallen out. I used to study his face and convince myself his skin tone wasn't right and he had heart problems and would die. I was consumed by fear for him... it wasn't normal.

The thing is anything I try hasnt worked and then she is just so overtired. The crying last night was awful. Maybe it's just a phase - even in the sling she is unsettled today

@DressingGownofDoom that sounds hard, I'm sorry. It's difficult at the time because what it probably irrational behaviour feels co completely rational.

I unfortunately never bonded with my baby.
I found that they settled some if I gave them infacol, which was for colic. This was over 20 years ago.
It maybe that she's picking up on your anxiety. Therefore getting anxious herself. I have no idea what would help but maybe going about your day with her in the sling and not worrying about not moving.

Thank you for the advice x