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Any dentists around? I really need help- I’m very scared

14 replies

TeethScareDentist · 22/11/2020 14:44

Just checking my name change has worked first...

OP posts:
flysoginger · 22/11/2020 14:47

Hi, I'm not a dentist but was wondering why you are so scared?

TeethScareDentist · 22/11/2020 14:49

Right it has, I’ll crack on.
I’m early 30’s and my teeth are a state. Years of neglect (my parents didn’t really take me the dentist as a kid plus an illness plus I suppose neglect and a lot of fizzy drinks/sugary food) has led to this. I really look after them now but the damage is already done. I had an infection a few years ago and was in absolute agony, i eventually went to the dentist and had the tooth removed. This was the first time I’d been since I was about 17. I was terrified, I had a panic attack and sobbed through every appointment.

I have decay on a few teeth including the front 2. I just look a state. I’m (hopefully!) getting married next year and i need to get them sorted. I live in fear of getting toothache again.

So now I have 2 problems

  1. I am absolutely terrified. I have changed my route home from work to avoid driving past the dentist I had the tooth removed from as I panic. Plus I’m totally embarrassed that I have let myself get like this, i worry so much they’ll tell me off or be really nasty.

  2. I can’t afford to pay thousands for treatment, I have looked at the NHS costs but I’m not sure if they’re for emergency cases only?

Please be kind, honestly I am mortified and so ashamed by all of this.

Thanks

OP posts:
Thelnebriati · 22/11/2020 14:54

Hi, I have terrible teeth as a result of abuse. No dentist has ever commented on how bad they are. I tell every new dentist I see that I have panic attacks, and my GP or dentist used to give me diazepam so I could attend the appointment - I dont need to take it now.

When you register with an NHS dentist you either qualify for free treatment (eg if you are on certain benefits or pregnant), or you pay the NHS charges, regardless of your income. Also you can ask your dentist how much it will cost in advance.

They wont judge you, they will just treat you.

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TeethScareDentist · 22/11/2020 14:57

Hi, thank you so much for replying. I feel like such an idiot that they’ve gotten like this and I feel now it’s really affecting my life. Did your teeth get fixed? I feel like my teeth are too far gone for fixing

OP posts:
PinkSparklyPussyCat · 22/11/2020 14:59

My Mum was like you. DH or I had to take her to the dentist, there was no way she could go on her own. Please don't feel ashamed, dental phobia is common and I never realised how bad it can be until I was with my Mum and the dentist called me in and I'd never seen her in such a state.

They won't be really nasty, they see people with dental phobias regularly. Some dentists specialise in treating nervous patients, make sure you tell the receptionist about your phobia when you phone so they can book you with the best dentist.

NHS dentists aren't usually for emergency treatment only, however appointments with them at the moment are as rare as hens teeth. I've had to change to a private dentist as I have an issue with a tooth and I've no idea when or if my old dentist will be able to see me. Depending on the cost of the work my new dentist offers interest free credit.

Sending you a big unMumsnetty hug 💐

GreyishDays · 22/11/2020 15:01

NHS dentist availability varies by area.
Can you ask on a local Facebook group of anyone knows of any that are taking on patients, that they would recommend?

TeethScareDentist · 22/11/2020 15:02

Thank you so much, appreciate you replying. The last time I went to have the tooth removed I was absolutely hysterical, I couldn’t breath or speak. How embarrassing Blush

OP posts:
MyGazeboisLeaking · 22/11/2020 15:05

Ah, you poor thing. You will definitely not be alone, and so many of us have things we don't want to confront and the situation gets worse and worse.. yours just happens to be your teeth. Think how many people get into debt spirals because they can't face the reality.

A PP gave good advice - ask a local group for recommendations of dentists who can deal with dentist anxiety / phobias.

There may be a waiting list for NHS but they won't judge you and will want to help you.

EggysMom · 22/11/2020 15:07

Define fixing. Will they be perfectly white Rylan-style teeth? No. Can they be healthy teeth and give you minimal problems? Yes.

When I met DH eleven years ago, he hadn't been to a dentist for about thirty years. He was the kind of person who would put up with toothache for months and then try to remove the tooth (or break it!) with pliers, rather than face a dentist. I took him for an emergency extraction, had to hold him down on the bed, he screamed in agony but he had the tooth removed.

That dentist was kind and patient, and he liked her. We agreed to sign up as NHS patients, and to go for a six-monthly check-up; DH didn't like the idea but he went. Again I held his legs. He didn't need any work doing that time ... We've been back every six months since (except during recent lockdown). DH still hates going, but has had various scales since then and even two fillings. I still have to sit in with him and hold a leg to reassure him that he's not on his own. But he looks after his teeth, cleans them, uses inter-dental brushes now. And he loves coming out of the dentist with no work being needed.

Would he still go if I didn't make the appointments and accompany him? I doubt it. Are his teeth pretty pearly whites? No, they never will be. But he doesn't suffer agonising toothache now. His health is better. That's a win Smile

Thelnebriati · 22/11/2020 15:10

Try not to feel bad. It is what it is, there's no point beating yourself up.
If yours aren't too bad they may be able to do a surprising amount to fix them, at least the front ones.

My teeth are too far gone to fix, they are being removed one by one as they give up. But they are mostly either cracked or broken. I want them to take out all the teeth and give me a false set, but they wont. I can't afford implants, and in any case some of the roots are damaged.

My dentist has to refer me to a private clinic for sedation, but I don't pay because I get free treatment. They dont like using sedation unless its really needed, but having panic attacks and avoiding treatment is considered a good enough reason where I live.

Your choice of dentist might be limited so try to work with the one you get, but don't be afraid to change if its not working for you. A good dentist can make a huge difference to your confidence, both in and out of the chair.

Housewoes23 · 22/11/2020 15:13

eggys he screamed in agony?!? Is it meant to be agony? Or do you mean emotional agony?

Elieza · 22/11/2020 15:16

I got sedated for getting a tooth out. It’s the best thing ever. You just get a cannula and meds through it and feel great.

Not worried about anything. Couldn’t care less. Happy for the dentist to do whatever work required. If he’s asked if he could saw my leg off or something I’d have said yeah saw em both off. You literally don’t care!

All on the NHS. There was a cost but I can’t remember how much. Twenty quid extra or something, not sure, but sooo worth it.

Left me with a positive dental experience too so I’m not so scared to go back.

You just have to go get your check up first to see what needs done and if you are healthy enough for sedation. I don’t know if covid would mean it’s getting done in dental hospitals only but I’d go if I needed to for sure. Why suffer more than you have to.
Good luck OP. And I hope your wedding is wonderful and your new smile is great on the big day GrinFlowers

TeethScareDentist · 23/11/2020 06:47

Thank you everyone, you’ve all been so kind. I’m going to work up the courage to ring the dentist where I had my tooth out to see if I’m on the books still. A lovely person has pm’d me and advised me to see my gp to see if they will prescribe something to calm my nerves so I’ll do that as well. I’ll try to update the thread.

Thanks again Flowers

OP posts:
Molly333 · 23/11/2020 07:31

I so can relate to you . My teeth too got in a right state (growing up hardly any dentist visits and 1 family toothbrush! !-dont ask). Anyway this has been a long journey for me where ive had pain for years and lost loads of teeth ( im only 50). My start of proper treatment came when i lost front teeth and waa utterly miserable and mortified . So i made the decision to find a dentist i trusted and stuck with them throughout. I love this man now, who has seen my cry and shake , the whole process, but we both never gave up . I believe u have to totally know and trust your dentist and the nurses and unfortunately bare the cost if you want better options ( i had to take a big loan) . Even though my treatment is ongoing i now feel in control of it and actually look at each stage as a coming to some sort of a happy end . My advice take control, find a dentist u trust, tell them how u feel, cry, wear headphones during treatment, hold the nurses hand, commit to looking after you and your teeth health now and onwards - you will feel so much better i promise but you have to take control

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