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The things you wouldn't know unless you watched movies!

5 replies

Perigrine · 18/10/2007 18:50

During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

All telephone numbers in America begin with the suffix "555".

Beds have special L-shaped sheets which reach up to armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking there and you can travel to any other part of the builing without difficulty.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German Officer it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

A man will show no pain when taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries tocleans his wounds.

Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate the strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

Cars that crash invairably burst into flames.

Stripping to the waist can make a man invunerable to bullets.

If you find yourself in a misunderstanding that can be cleared up with a simple explanation, for goodness sake, keep your mouth shut.

Any person waking up from a nightmare will sit up and pant.

A cough is usually a sign of a terminal illness.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when the bomb is going to go off.

When you are in love is is customary to burst into song.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all of the steps.

When confronted by an evil international terrorist, sarcasm and wisecracks are you best weapons.

One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them that 20 men firing at one man.

If being fired at by Germans, hide in a river - or even a bath. German bullets are unable to penetrate water.

Laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of an invading alien civilisation.

Word Processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.

Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings, expecially if any of their family or friends have died in a strange boating accident.

All computer discs will work in all computers, regardless of software.

Police Departments give their officers personality test to make sure that they are assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

When they are alone, foreigners prefer to speak in English to each other.

If you are a hero, you never face manslaughter charges or criminal damage charges despite laying entire cities to waste by your actions.

You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

Any lock can be picked by a credit card or paper clip in seconds unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

You can tell if someone is British as he will be wearing a bow tie.

When driving a car it is normal for you not to look at the road, but at the person sat next to you for the entire journey.

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from side to side every few moments.

Taxi drivers dont require exact or even approximate payment. The first note you pull from your pocket is always right.

Having a job of any kind will make a father forget his son's eigth birthday.

Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

The more a man and woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall into bed with each other/fall in love.

If a large pane of glass is visible it is likely that some will be thrown through it before long.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you have shown someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

Once applied, lipstick and mascara will never rub off - even whilst scuba diving.

It is easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower talking you down.

All grocery shopping contains at least one stick of french bread.

Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers and man-eating sharks which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will patiently wait to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatning manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.

Should you try to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut - it will always be the right one.

At least one of a pair of identical twins will always be evil.

Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not.

It is perfectly normal to order alcoholic drinks then leave them half drunk on the bar, usually to go nowhere in particular.

If you have a perfect English accent you are the baddie.

When the men are fighting, the women will stand to one side looking distraught.

The last person to run away from a bridge in a war film will die.

All government agencies have passwords that can be guessed in three tries.

Being shot only hurts for the first few seconds.

Pretty women usually survive explosions unscathed except for a few artfully placed smudges of dirt on their face.

Everyone can remember every single phone number they will ever need.

Uniformed police are just there to stop bullets from reaching the unconventional buddy detectives.

Don't look down throught a skylight - you will fall through.

Nothing is more likely to foil an evil plot than a group of misfit children.

In general, bombs are only designed to be defused after the timer reaches 5 seconds, and those 5 seconds stretch out to at least a minute.

If your mate is good-looking and funny, you have a shorter life expectancy.

Falling forty feet is painless, providing you land on a table.

Modern guns will keep firing bullets until you have time to stop and reload.

OP posts:

TheEvilDediderata · 18/10/2007 18:52

Well, you haven't left anything for the rest of us to add


Perigrine · 18/10/2007 18:54


pretty concise list - I came up with all of them myself!!!!

OP posts:

DANCESwithHughJackman · 18/10/2007 18:56

LOL superb


Sheherazadethegoat · 18/10/2007 19:07

v. good list.

smoking - if someone smokes in an american film it means they are evil and will probably die.

if someone smokes in a british film it means they are sophisicated and a bit edgy.

if someone smokes in a french film it meands they are french.


suey2 · 18/10/2007 19:12

ROFL! good work

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