Dyslexia advice please!

[DyslexiaHelpPlease]

NC as I’m going to put a lot of outing details...

DS is 8 and I am totally convinced he’s dyslexic. He’s really bright, greater depth in everything apart from spelling where he is below expected. I wanted to get him assessed in the summer but DH vetoed it as he wanted to wait and see for longer. We compromised on getting a tutor to see if some targeted help would make a difference. Today she turned round and said we had to get him assessed as she is 95% sure he is dyslexic.

DH still doesn’t want to do it, as he doesn’t see the point. He reckons as there’s no magic bullet other than “trying harder” the label will only serve him badly.

So MNetters, can I have some examples of practical changes that happened as a result of a diagnosis that I can use to help persuade him that we need to go down this route. I feel we’re failing DS at the moment and with time the gap is going to get bigger and bigger.

So true blackcat. The Gift of Dyslexia was recommended to me by a parent of three dc with dyslexia.

@AaronPurr

Its unlikely he will get extra time if he is performing average or above.

I'm really sorry to hear the extra time was withdrawn from your DS, especially as it sounds like he benefitted from it in the past. As shown from several posters on the thread even brighter children with Dyslexia are still routinely offered extra time. As it allows them more time to process the information, and helps take into account any other difficulties a child may have, rather than whether they're above average or not.

To clarify

Ds was on SEN register at primary. He was never tested for Dyslexia, but lots of extra 1 to 1 help with spelling. Went to secondary school was put in top sets for all subjects despite a 4 for writing. He struggled in MFL so spoke to SEN , who immediately put him back on SEN register. We never had to get a diagnosis as it was obvious he had difficulties in some areas and he got extra help. We were actually told in primary school that he was only getting the help because he was very bright
GCSE time he is assessed for extra time, he was given 25 % for maths based subjects and 10% for essay based.
His WRAT scores went from 1 point below average to top 5 % in some areas
This was the problem. Criteria changed from comparing performance against them selves to comparing performance against peers. This meant that he could no longer
qualify for extra time because his lowest scores were still average

DEf extra specialsed support . I had it with in the class. targetting maths and English and high school science.) And out of class
,(juniour sch it was assembly time high before an after school sometimes one to one sometimes one to two. Also lots you can do at home. You want someone who has knowledge of dyslexia to support the child though. Contact local dyslexia associaiton. See if you can get an EHCP as this will give you more entitlement to extra time, gatches scribe. You should also get an assessment then which will explain what it felt is needd best for the child. Liaise with school and Special educational needs information and advise service. (sendias).

I was diagnosed at 42 when I went back to uni. I honestly had managed to blag my way through a good degree at a good university before without ever retaining or fully processing the information from academic texts!

I get extra time, DSA software (less use than it sounds this year with online lectures to be honest) and access to study skills tutoring which to be honest I don't use as my subject is so niche. What does make huge difference to me are using things like screen reading software and being able to type my exams (I strongly suspect I have dyspraxia as well but wasn't assessed for that - DD2 has a diagnosis and I see so much of myself in her). Knowing that I have a shit high IQ and then a processing of written information score right through the floorboards has meant I've managed to figure out ways to understand academic texts that mean I actually get to access the content and not just blag it through.

@bruffin
So if your child was never tested or diagnosed with any learning disability, would that not be the real reason he lost the accommodations? It makes sense that a child with no diagnosis who is performing average or better, therefore needs no accommodation.

It is useful to have a diagnosis, but you don't need a diagnosis of dyslexia to get exam arrangements at school. You can be assessed at school for extra time, reader, use of PC etc. without doing all the tests needed for a diagnosis. Considering a private one is around £500 it would discriminatory to only give access arrangements to children with a dyslexia diagnosis.

Might be a good idea to get you dc to learn to touch-type. There are lots of free ones; little and often everyday.

For older dyslexic people : speechnotes.co is a free speech to text website.
Text readers are mainly free now. I like Read Aloud, or ClaroRead, both downloaded free from Google Chrome store.

@PlanDeRaccordement

My DD is the same. I find the older she gets the more I'm noticing she struggles with different learning aspects outwith the standard reading and writing difficulties which people seem to focus on. Dyslexia is so much more than that.

@wigglywormx
Yes, we observed the same because early school years they learn to read, but as they get older they read to learn. And dyslexia’s impact on reading makes everything harder as they get older.

[quote PlanDeRaccordement]@bruffin
So if your child was never tested or diagnosed with any learning disability, would that not be the real reason he lost the accommodations? It makes sense that a child with no diagnosis who is performing average or better, therefore needs no accommodation.[/quote]
He was assessed (WRAT) by Senco at GCSE and A level under whatever criteria was in place at the time and was awarded extra time
There was a change in criteria between his A1 and A2 exams. He needed extra time to reach his full potential and just below average did not reflect his true abilities ie CAT scores in 120s. You do not need an "official" diagnosis to get extra time.
As i said above we never needed an official diagnosis because it was obvious something wasn't right . I wasn't going to spend money on assessments when he was getting extra help anyway

He is very intelligent

@bruffin
I’m sad they withdrew the extra time as it seems unjustified.

I agree you should go ahead with testing if you’re able to. However, I do think your DH is maybe getting a bit of a hard time on here!

As well as the very many positives to getting a diagnosis, it’s also worth considering some of the potential challenges that might come up if your DS does receive a diagnosis. These won’t be the case for every child, but will be for some.

We got our DD (7) tested on the advice of her teacher. We didn’t do it immediately because we were weighing up the pros and cons of a diagnosis at that age. Of course, it’s helpful for older children who are struggling to get a diagnosis as soon as possible, and any extra support that goes with it, but for younger children your DH is partly right in saying it might not make a huge difference, certainly in terms of the practical support provided at that age, and particularly if you’re already doing some of the ‘extras’ at home.

This was depend very much on the school your DS goes to, but for us, despite a host of recommendations in the report, the school have done very little (no resources to support mild to moderate dyslexia - DD does averagely well). She was already doing the extra groups at school with other kids who struggled with spelling / reading., some of whom had dyslexia, some not.

Overall the diagnosis has been positive, particularly in terms of enabling DD to understand why she was struggling so much academically, and boosting her confidence. We’ve discussed all the very many very high achieving / well known people with dyslexia, & made it clear that her dyslexia shouldn’t be an obstacle to her achieving.

However, she does fairly often use her dyslexia as a reason/excuse to not push herself / do work she’s not keen on. If she doesn’t do well in a piece of work, or is struggling to understand it quickly she often attributes it straight away to her dyslexia. And it may well be this is the reason she’s struggling, but it certainly isn’t always! Sometimes she’s bring a bit lazy, or simply hasn’t put much effort it - like all kids do at times.

So we’re constantly reinforcing the idea that whilst things may be harder for her, her dyslexica should not be used as an excuse to not try.

DS1 (9) has diagnoses of dyslexia, dyspraxia and ASD, all of which are eligible for additional time in assessments. It is also recommended for him to learn touch typing and complete assessments using his usual methods of working.

The biggest benefit is to his confidence. He is very bright, absorbs information easily, and can apply concepts from one context to another. But at 9, he's only just getting the hang of arranging the letters of his name with accuracy. I've been open about dyslexia since he was about 5-6 and struggling to learn to read. He knows he is smart, but certain parts of his brain are wired a bit differently which gives him different strengths and challenges to the majority, and he can judge himself by his strengths not his difficulties. Not that life isn't frustrating and hard work, but he knows he's very clever even if he struggles to read and write it down.

School have had him in interventions to support spelling and writing since y2. His spelling tests are adjusted so he takes his pick from 5 out of the list of 10. Better to get 3/ 5 than 3/10. He has a supply of blue paper and I provide blue paper exercise books. He also has tinted glasses.

We suspect that DH is an undiagnosed dyslexic. I should be on the company payroll for proof reading since he started WFH. He has a PhD, but he struggles with basic grammar. He was the "late bloomer" in the family and struggled to meet the standards set by his multitude of siblings.
It is so much better to understand why you struggle. (Personally, I suspect undiagnosed dyspraxia in myself for a multitude of reasons...)

. . Sorry posted before finishing. And apologies for the many typos.

Good luck with your DS, whatever you decide but, overall, for us getting a diagnosis has been very helpful

Dd was tested age 9. Against the advice of school, who didn't want to label her. She is very bright but her spelling is atrocious, took her ages go write anything because she worried so much. Her short term memory is not great.

She was hitting her targets or exceeding them, apart from spelling (3 years behind).

The diagnosis has been a revelation. Massive confidence boost. She admitted she thought she was stupid, now understands why some things are harder for her.

School still don't believe it 'but she is so good at maths and is hitting most of her targets, she can't be dyslexic'.

Nessy has been brilliant. We pay privately as school won't.

Thanks for that perspective Rabid - I think you’ve articulated some of his fears. We had another long chat about it, and his two main concerns are 1) nothing he’s ever been told to do has helped him, he’s just learnt to live with it - he’s undiagnosed himself and like someone else on this thread I proofread for him a lot!! 2) his perception is that the bright dyslexics find their own way anyway whereas it becomes an excuse for middle ability ones. I wonder if he’d ever had an actual diagnosis whether he’d have the same view but hey ho. I also suspect there’s a degree of unnecessary guilt that this is something that has been inherited from him.

I still really want to go ahead, but if we can get to a point where he’s on side too then I’d like that

And thanks to whoever recommended the gift of dyslexia, I downloaded and read it this afternoon and it describes him (both of them) to a T.

DS1 (and me) sound like your son. Both bright, both dyslexic.
For DS the best bit about a diagnosis is the knowledge that he's not thick because he cant spell. We have a piece of paper saying he is in the top 10% for lots of stuff. But he also processes things differently to others, and that makes some things much harder for him than his mates (and is in the bottom 10% for some stuff like phonological awareness).
The report we got also had lots of hints and tips about what things might prove very difficult, and ways round it or specific teaching we could do to assist.
So I'd say the benifit of a diagnosis was mental health and some specific, tailored, tutoring tips. The dyslexic gives an insight to the way he works, rather than identifying him.

Stareway to Spelling is a good sceme for dyslexics

Just do NOT call it a gift. Not being able to or struggling with spelling, writting, reading, maths, left and right, direction, comprehension, coordination even getting words out is not a gift.

If you don't intervene now and eventually have to, you will end up having to pay for support for twice as long.

If your DH has experience of getting into trouble due to learning issues, he should think long and hard before throwing your child into that awful situation.

Most LEA EPs won’t diagnose dyslexia now-if you want a private diagnosis, it is expensive.

That's not true!

As if there's a conspiracy not to diagnose dyslexia!

They may not bother if they don't think it's severe enough to meet a funding threshold, that's different.

I was diagnosed at 21, my third year of uni. Honestly, it was life changing. I had struggled for so long, so very frustrated because I knew I was intelligent (not a brag, honest!) but my grades never matched to expectations. It helped me to stop beating myself up so much for not achieving. I got student support to help me get organised, learn strategies to improve my exam technique- one of my biggest issues was panicking in exams, I’d rush, misread the question and then answer wrong. My grades went from Ds and fails to C+ or Bs within a year.

I would say life is easier now than it was when I was diagnosed - I use my phone for reminders, lists, sat nav (I always used to get lost).

I would ask to discuss it with school - it maybe when you raise it they will agree with your suspicions.

Are there different kinds of tests people should go for?

Or just one standard test?

Is it best to get an Ed psych first? Then dyslexia test?