Financial dilemma

[sukiyaki]

Regular poster here, but don't want to use my regular handle, because this is outing.

DF gave DSis a sum of money some years ago to help her buy a house. DSis doesn't make much money, she left school at 16 and even now she's only making around £20k a year. Without this money and a similar sum from DM she'd have had to wait until our parents died to get on the housing ladder. Both DPs set aside an equal sum for me in their wills so it would be fair.

DF has now sold an asset and is in a position to give me an equal sum of money to the one he gave DSis. He wants to do this for inheritance tax reasons.

My dilemma is this - I don't actually need this money. DH and I are very well off so I'll be able to invest it. However, even half the sum would make a huge difference to my DSis. She has hardly anything in savings, so any major cost like her boiler breaking down or her car needing repairs is massively stressful for her and our DF has usually stepped in to help her when those things have occurred. It also strikes me as rather unfair that she had to spend her money on a house, whereas I can just save mine - put in my pension or an ISA or whatever - because I'm in a much better financial position.

So should I ask DF to split it in halves? That's what I'm thinking. WWYD?

Do either of you have children that perhaps your DF could gift the money to?

I have two DC, she has none.

Accept the money as DF probably feels you should each be treated the same, then you gift the money or better still invest it in an ISA/pension for her

Ah, that doesn't really help! I was thinking something like my father's mum who bypassed her own children and split a windfall around all her grandchildren to avoid inheritance tax. But this method wouldn't help your feeling of unfairness about your sister's current position.

My reading is that your sister effectively received her legacy from your parents early, whereas you will receive the same amount but not until after their deaths. So splitting this current amount does sound the fairest thing.

Yes, DF definitely wants to treat us the same, so perhaps it would be better if I let him do as he wishes and then I can do as I wish once I have it. Setting up an ISA for her is a nice idea. I just want her to have a bit of a cushion for a rainy day.

That's a beautiful thing you'll do for your sister 💕

Do you know what op reading your post has made me realise there are people about that are not selfish.
So many entitled threads on here it's nice not to read one .
You are a lovely sister but I agree your df wants to treat you both the same so there will be no animosity.
Explain that you would like dsis
to have this money or maybe half of it .

It's a lovely thing to do, I would speak to your df and say what you have told us, that you have made good choices and have been fortunate in life so you feel splitting the money is what you would like to do. I can't imagine a parent refusing said in the right way. I'm in a similar position but my brother refused to take the help

Your Df wants you to have the money, so accept it and do whatever

It’s your sisters choice to live as she does, however there is nothing to stop you helping her later on if she does need some help rather than going to your father

I think you are lovely to help out your Dsis in this way. My siblings and I all had the same opportunities but my Dsis has made a complete shambles of her life and has not been able to hold down a job. I used to resent my mum thinking she should get more . However now I realise she may have had some undiagnosed learning difficulties as well as mental health issues so will be pleased if she receives more