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Sandwich generation (looking after parent + child)

2 replies

SebastianTheCrab · 20/11/2020 17:16

Is anyone else in this boat? My dad lives alone after my mum fucked off with an old flame a few years.

He doesn't need a lot of care but occasionally things come up (he was in hospital recently for a while) that need my full attention and take up the limited time I have. I go with him to appointments and also need to make sure he has food, especially during lockdown, and try and see him regularly because he doesn't have many friends or acquaintances.

What makes it worse is we have nothing to talk about - he can't hear (despite me having spent months dragging him to appointments to get him a hearing aid he won't wear it) and just rambles on about WWII documentaries - so I dread seeing him.

He never asks about me but if he does he won't listen to my replies. He doesn't engage with my toddler (partly cause he can't hear him) and just asks if he can buy him ice creams at inappropriate times (eg before dinner).

I also have my own child (and husband and his family - a while other story) plus a debilitating chronic illness to deal with as well as trying to fit in work. I'm exhausted and I feel too young to be in this position (early 30s).

Just wondered if anyone here is experiencing similar?

OP posts:
Crankley · 20/11/2020 18:57

I don't think this is just about one generation, I remember my parents in the 1950s when I was a child, having to do quite a lot for my GM while still caring for my sister and I. It's not uncommon but it doesn't make it easy. If he's not communicating with you, do you think it could be the start of dementia?

I feel for you and hope things improve.

Wheresmybiscuit3 · 10/05/2021 12:19

Yes. I hear you. It’s the same for me Flowers

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