Struggling to cope in this lockdown.

[getmeacupoftea]

I, like so many others, am really struggling to cope with this second lockdown. I have two young children, both under 5, and a military husband. Pre-covid, my coping strategy for military spouse loneliness was getting out and about, doing things, having friends over, and being with family. All of which have been stripped away. I of course completely understand that there are people who have it much harder, and I am grateful that for now, my husband's job is safe. However my mental health has taken a nose dive, and my binge eating is worse than ever. It's like this monster that lives inside of me, and it takes all of my energy to keep it a bay. This makes me depressed and tired during the day, subsequently turning me into a snappy bitch. I hate the mother I am at the moment. I get this internal despair when people tell me they've managed to watch netflix all day, or went for a nice peaceful dogwalk, or learn't a new hobby whilst on furlough - all things I would LOVE to be able to do. On this posting there is minimal green space near us to take the kids on a walk, so it's the same outside space, day after day, then back indoors to a disgusting messy house with kids that are bored, (understandable), so the remainder of the day is tasked with entertaining them when all I want to do is sleep so I don't think about food. As you can imagine I have absolutely no motivation to do anything good for myself, when I know I need to. I'm miles away from family and I just feel wretched.
Sorry to drear on about myself, but I don't have any other outlets really . Anyone feeling similar?

Does your DH help with the DC so you get a break from them occasionally?

It sounds really hard, especially not being near family. Please don't be too hard on yourself, lots of us are struggling at the moment. If your appetite and desire for sleep are out of the ordinary perhaps you have depression, in which case a visit to the GP may help (you may have to have a phone appointment but you should still get one).

Sorry it’s so hard for you at the moment. This lockdown is worse for many as the weather and dark contribute to low moods.

The messy house, over eating and not going out all becomes a vicious cycle where the less you do, the less you want to do about it. So although it’s hard to try to break it, if you can break it it’ll be worth it.
You’ve identified the things making it worse for you so you know the areas to tackle.
You have young children so it’s even more difficult.

Try to get your house cleaner. It doesn’t have to be perfect but just more enjoyable to be in. When we’re spending so much more time at home, it really affects us if our surroundings are chaotic.
Try to spend 15-20 min bursts to loud music to get something done.
It can make a big difference.

Food wise, try to get your 5 fruit and veg in a day and plenty of water. At least that way you have a good base even if you do end up adding some comfort foods. Get some vit d too.

Can you explore any further in your area? Or take a walk with a family member or friend? A change of scenery and a chat can make a huge difference.
All the best op.

Military spouse-I guess your mr is of on exercises at the moment. I’m sorry you are finding it difficult. Are there any open parks near you? You could even pick up/put together a picnic so while you would still be eating, it would be less and you can get some exercise.

Sorry you feel so shit OP. I feel your pain! I'm a single parent to an only child. Have always been quite career-focussed but now it's taking all my energy to switch the laptop on each morning, from home, which I've been doing since March. More often than not it's after a few tears too. I've never struggled with MH issues so much before this. Not trying to hijack your thread, just hoping this'll give you some, "you're not alone" vibes x

@Horsemad
He does, whenever I ask. But he can only really take them out for a couple of hours max, as there is not whole lot to do with them at the moment. Struggling to stretch the walks out. I usually take that time to clean, but then get depressed when it gets messy again.

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I will take on board everything you've said.
So we are in a city area, on the outskirts, and it's so rough around here, I honestly wouldnt want to venture further! I know I sound very "woe is me" but I am so angry at everything. I know theres no point in being angry, but I'm so fucked off I haven't seen any family since summer, I can't take my kids to any of their favourite softplays or farms, we're cooped up in this tiny military house, I'm so done with it all.

I remember feeling so demoralised when the house was messy. 🙁 It's so hard to let it go if you're normally a tidy person. Get the DC tidying up their stuff, don't be running after them.

Try and go to bed as early as you can, good sleep makes a world of difference to his you feel.

@GoneScone thankyou. It's shit isn't it x

get this internal despair when people tell me they've managed to watch netflix all day, or went for a nice peaceful dogwalk, or learn't a new hobby whilst on furlough - all things I would LOVE to be able to do.

I don’t know anyone doing this things as all my friends and family are working/run off their feet as before with small kids. I leave the house at 7.30am when it’s dark and get home gone 6, when it’s dark-it’s depressing and I feel your pain