Pls help me choose which secondary school....

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I am driving myself up the wall with endlessly pondering on what I should do about choosing my son's secondary school. If anyone can be bothered to read, I'd be so grateful to get any insight or common sense view on it.

School A - a very highly regarded local state school, high achieving and excellent results for many years, it has a middle class catchment area and is widely seen as the one to get into. The catchment area is the size of a postage stamp. We are not in catchment, although it's in a nearby neighbourhood, so it would mean me selling up our house and probably renting first, before buying, in order to get my son accepted. Many of my son's friends would be going to this school from his primary as we moved to this new area when I bought a place.

School B - relatively new school, has underperformed academically for past 3 years and got a poor Ofsted but results have picked up in the past year. A more mixed demographic, it draws a smallish percentage of kids from a fairly deprived area (no judgement from me on this but just to paint the picture), as well as a relatively affluent neighborhood (lots of kids go private though). New head came in 18 months ago. Seems to be doing well, lots of people see it as a caring school. Results are average to OK. My son probably wouldn't know anyone at this school but we are in catchment.

School A is by far the stand out choice academically and maybe aspirationally, so it seems like a clear choice on that level. I also moved around a lot as a kid, and missed a lot of school, so I'm heavily invested in the importance of education and how this can make a big difference to later life. BUT I am a single parent, with little support financial or otherwise, and I'm worried about the practical and financial implications of moving. I can do it, and I earn reasonably well, but renting would be expensive (think £1500 a month kind of expensive) and I'd lose a year of mortgage payments (I'm 48).

Any thoughts?! It seems such a big decision and I don't have people IRL to talk to about it. I literally switch from the pros and cons of both all the time and it's driving me mad.

Would moving guarantee you space? Can you find out the stats for how many in catchment actually get in? Our local outstanding secondary can't accommodate all catchment kids so there is no guarantee they get in even if they live there, so I wouldn't move unless you were very confident you'd get a space.

If it guaranteed it yes moving is something I'd consider if feasible and not too damaging to lifestyle etc.

It depends on your financial situation and if things would be okay if you moved. Your heart seems firm on school A. I would go with school A too. However, if that's not possible I'm sure it won't be bad to send him to school B especially if results are picking up. But I guess you'd have to stay a bit more on top of his work at school B.

Ask your child which school he wants to go to. I would not choose based on results, my eldest (now 32) went to one of the worst schools in the borough and he got outstanding results A* (7) and 3 A's in his GCSE's. Unfortunately my youngest went to one of the worst in the country, and whilst they catered more for those who werent academic, he is now doing a PHD in maths.

Put school A as first choice and B as second.
Use up all the allowed choices.
I'm an appeals panellist and we get so many appeals where parents have only used first choice, if they don't get in, that application goes to the bottom of the pile until everyone else has been given a place and they end up being placed in a school miles away.

Thanks so much for the replies.

notheragain, yes, you’re right, not everyone in catchment gets in. So, if I was renting, which seems the most likely option in the short term rather than buying , I’d only rent if it was a dead cert. Even that’s difficult ☹️

Faithfulbird i think my heart says yes to School A, that’s the problem. I’m trying to think more with my head which is probably school B!

Part of my fear about School B is that I’m not sure how much time I’d realistically have to keep on top of school work. I work FT (and will need to until I’m ancient) so I’d want the school to play the major part education wise. Sadly I can’t see how I’d be able to add in lots of extra time 😞

Thanks Fabby. My son isn’t particularly academic, although he’s very capable. I’d say he needs lots of encouragement and push, otherwise I think he’ll just coast along.

Raera that’s useful to know. So basically even if we go for School B, put the other one on the list. I think we’d be v unlikely to win any appeal though as we live too far away from A.

School A. The friendship thing is so important.

Schools that have been top of the heap for a while aren't always on top of their game, they can get complacent and coast. Often the up and coming schools particularly with a newly installed head are the rising stars and kids coming in at this point benefit. Also schools identified as under performing often get enhanced resources to boost them which can benefit the pupils massively.
The money you would need to use to position him for a school place in A could go a long way in private tutor support, amazing life engaging experiences travels etc.
Personally I'd put him in upcoming school B, his mates will all be close by so his social life will be logistically easier and less likely to be heavily leaning towards entitled snobbish attitudes which schools with pupils drawn almost exclusively from families who can afford the higher home prices of a good school catchment can suffer from.
Then, with the money you have saved by not renting, if he needs a boost at any point you will have the financial reserves to get him a tutor, he can attend all the club's for an amazing extra curricular schedule etc

Raera that’s useful to know. So basically even if we go for School B, put the other one on the list. I think we’d be v unlikely to win any appeal though as we live too far away from A.>>

Use all the choices your LEA allow, to make sure your son doesn't get a place somewhere you definitely don't want.
So may parents seem to think that if I only put one option down, I'm bound to get a place, it really doesn't work like that and ends in tears

Don't forget, you can choose the school but you can't choose his school experience.
A wonderful teacher, or not, can make it break it whatever school you pick. He could meet his soul mate best buddy in either school and you won't know until it's done.
The other thing to consider is that if school A is high flying and he isn't particularly academic he could end up feeling like the (hate the term, but to conjure up school kids thinking) thicky and be demotivated. If he is in a school with a wide range of abilities he could feel like the shining star and be empowered to believe in himself.
It's a minefield as a parent to know which way to jump, but the obvious choice isn't necessarily right for him.
My niece went to a week thought of school, she was a good student but surrounded by even higher achievers she faded into the background and being no trouble either teachers utterly failed to notice her existence more or less. They moved and she ended up in a middle of the road school, she clicked with her teachers, was noticed and encouraged, and then she was flying. Teachers with a mixed bag of students tend not to overlook their steady workers the same, he could be appreciated more there.

Where does your son want to go?

I'd go for School A.

Just because I think if I wasn't happy with B down the line, I know I'd regret not trying for A (even though it may be a wrong assumption that everything is perfect there). Also, I'd rather pick a school that's already good than one that is on an upwards trajectory but not yet at the same level.

I am not the most decisive person so I share your pain!

My daughter works full time and her son goes to their local underperforming (but improving) school. He made new friends who live close by and they all play for the local rugby club. She has a tutor one night a week (picked carefully so they have a rapport) who makes sure he's on track with homework etc. Would travel to school A be an issue, can he get there on his own or would you have to factor in taking him? I'd be reluctant to move on the off-chance he might get a place there tbh. Sorry, can't help but it's a difficult choice.

Thanks all. Some very useful points made. More to think about!

JMG, yes I’m like this - I’m already half dreading the regret if I send him to B, and if things maybe don’t work out. On the other hand, I really don’t want to make myself feel vulnerable financially, by overstretching and then having to buy somewhere that’s not as nice as where we are now.

Basically I’m a terrible natural worrier and tend to overthink from every angle.

I'm a big fan of analysis paralysis too! Sometime I find it helps to make a provisional decision, sleep on it for a couple of days and see if it still feels "right". That usually works for me.

The other thing to consider is how the school supports the children who aren't natural knuckle-downers, in schools whose cohort isn't so privileged and may not have space at home to diligently do their homework, there are often homework clubs in the library after school... You mention he isn't very driven himself so that type of support might be perfect for his character.
I was similar in my teens (had zero space at home to do homework which didn't help) and usually did it on my knee on the school bus! I was an able student, just in a family with very limited resources and little home support, my school outcomes would have been very different with a homework club to go to.
Incidentally I was going to the 'best' school in the area, every parent battled to go there, which was probably justified when my sister who was 3.5 years older than me went there. By the time I was starting the head had totally taken his foot off the gas, was marking time until his retirement and by the time I reached my critical final 2 years it no longer deserved it's reputation at all. School reputations have a pretty hefty lag time, it's take a while to earn or tarnish one...
This is why in your position I wouldn't feel too concerned about school B, interventions have been made, improvements are likely following and that price tag on residing near enough to school A is eye watering and could offer more bang for the buck being spent in ways which develop his education/character in other ways.

Sorry to jump on the thread, @Raera we only put down one option and it's not in catchment but he does have a sibling there, I'm assuming only putting one option is only an issue if all the local schools are over subscribed? The 3 other schools near us are all under subscribed and all pretty equal in performance so we just assumed we would get one of them if we don't get our choice or am I wrong?

@EnglishRose1320

Sorry to jump on the thread, *@Raera* we only put down one option and it's not in catchment but he does have a sibling there, I'm assuming only putting one option is only an issue if all the local schools are over subscribed? The 3 other schools near us are all under subscribed and all pretty equal in performance so we just assumed we would get one of them if we don't get our choice or am I wrong?

If you have only put down one choice and don't get it you will be given the nearest school after all other students have their selected places allocated, so yes if the next nearest school is under subscribed thus having places available you will get it. You are just leaving it more open to chance. Local areas get blip years of higher than usual birth rates etc so occasionally the expected situation changes. If you specifically state your second choice school you will be put through the section criteria the same as everyone else so not back of the queue. Not all schools have an attending sibling as one of the selection criteria (though most do) - did you check if this school prioritises siblings?

@ChickensMightFly yes it does have siblings as one of the criteria, fairly low down on the list but not as low as just being out of catchment. Current ds that's there also has an ehcp so we added info as to why it would be beneficial to have both ds in the same school in the extra criteria section.
Local school couldn't meet ds1's need so he had to go out of catchment and we are now in the process of trying to move house, which means we will then hopefully be in catchment but unfortunately we couldn't do that before the application deadline.