How would Childline respond to...

[KihoBebiluPute]

How would the Childline telephone service respond to a call from a clearly comfortable, well looked-after child who is angry with his parents for having the cruelty to make him do his homework and household chores and withhold privileges like videogames and TV when he doesn't do them?

In my understanding, the service is there for children who are in danger - maybe from their own parents or from bullying etc. I don't want my son to waste the charity's limited resources on helping him learn to overcome his pre-adolescent self-centredness - but maybe I am wrong? Maybe they are equally open to helping children who aren't in any particular danger?

My DS (age 11) may have autism (diagnosis process currently on pause due to Covid) and doesn't have a very good understanding of reasonable behaviour sometimes, and gets extremely angry at times. On two or three occasions when he has been very angry he has said that he is going to call Childline and report our cruelty and each time he has done this I have said that he shouldn't, because he would be stopping a child who is actually in danger from being able to speak to someone who can help them.

But on the other hand it would be good for him to speak to someone who would be able to recognise that he is angry about a situation that is actually perfectly reasonable and normal, and would tell him to behave himself. I just don't know if the Childline people would make things better or worse!

"a clearly comfortable, well looked-after child"
How would they be able to tell that over the phone?

I think both you and your son have misunderstood how Childline works.

The whole point is that a child should be able to call of their own accord, and without their parents' knowledge if need be.

I get why your son might think he has to have your permission, but I think you need to explain to him that you can't give it or withhold it - it's up to him if he feels he needs to do it.

My hunch (and I'm slightly unsure as I don't know how his autism might affect this) is that, if he's seeking your permission, he's using it as a threat rather than actually feeling he needs help from them.

I would say, too, while I'm sure he is comfortable and safe, it is weird to use Childline as a parenting tool so he can talk to someone. While there may be abusive parents who are fully aware they're abusive, there are also many more who believe (or kid themselves) that their child is comfortable, safe and happy, and they've done nothing wrong. Therefore Childline will be totally familiar with parents who think they're just fine. You won't be able to call them and say 'here, I'm a lovely parent but humour my silly child'. That's the exact opposite of their job.

Childline is a listening service for children, they would give him space to talk and help him understand how he feels. His worries are important and they would support him with whatever he called about. It’s not just for children in danger, or children who are being abused, he wouldn’t be preventing anyone from using the service if they wanted to and his worries are as valid as anyone else’s.

I’m more interested in why you’d want to stop him phoning if he could use the support. Childline aren’t social services, they aren’t in the business of demonising parents and calls are confidential. They have a very high threshold for breaching confidence which helps children to talk freely.

They wouldn’t tell him to “behave himself”, they would accept him and how he feels, which is important for children even if you think he needs to get over himself.