Is anyone else like this?

[WhatsTheTea]

I have zero motivation and am very lazy.

I've been like this my whole life.

Got up 10 mins before school bus, never ready, did the minimum grooming, often pulled a sickie because I just couldn't face it. I didn't do much school work, unless I was engaged (that wasn't a lot). Always where I shouldn't be or trying to get out of doing things - especially PE. I was late for everything.

Left school at 16 and got a job straight away. Was the same with my working life until I got older and realised I had to pull it together and was in a job that paid well and was more enjoyable. Even then all was a big effort.

No hobbies at all, I don't do anything other than spend time with my family, with friends or on phone. I did nothing as a child - money was tight, so no opportunities etc. I have no ambition.

I have a part time job that I enjoy and I'm not like this now at work because it's so busy and varied and i'm a bloody 40 year old woman and cannot be like this! But this is a first for me.

I don't exercise but know I should - I walk A LOT and am very active, sorting kids and house etc.

Kids are looked after well, I spend time with them, feed them, always get them to school on time the house looks well organised, clean and tidy the naked eye. My kids bring me so much joy - doing things for them doesn't feel hard at all?

Everything else feels like a huge effort. If i'n not fully interested or have to do it - it's like I just CAN'T do it.

I'm on antidepressants and this stops me from sinking. I'm a very healthy weight - so Ithat's not a problem.

It's not that things aren't getting done and I need help with organising myself it's that EVERYTHING is an effort.

I would happily stay on the sofa ALL DAY, every day. And I honestly hate this about myself.

I am exactly the same. Even 40 as well. Also left school at 16. I was bright but very lazy. I don't think I ever did any homework and I just couldn't be arsed to revise for GCSEs - did ok but I could've smashed it if I had tried.

My house is spotless, my kids are clean, very well looked after and I love being with them.

But I've never done anything.

I'm okay with it though. It's just who I am.

I'm naturally quite lazy...I have to push myself to do things. I take my dc for walks, swimming, bike ride etc because I know as their mum I have to do stuff like that, but I couldn't be arsed if it was just me. I'm in awe of people who get up and go hiking or running just for them. I can't see the point.

Yep, I totally get this. Certain things motivate me, like paying the mortgage or making sure my kids are well cared for. But if I ever found myself alone I would just sit in squalor and never leave the house. Its just all too much effort. Anti depressants haven't changed the laziness issue, but they have reduced my anxiety and improved my outlook. I make sure the kids rooms are tidy and the house is hygienic but only for their sake, so kitchen counters cleaned, fridge wiped down when it gets grotty, bleach down the loo etc. But there is STUFF everywhere. It doesn't help that my kids and husband are all naturally messy and don't mind it one bit, it's a thankless task and instantly gets undone when I find the energy to put it all away.

In more general terms I leave my life admin until the deadlines are so close it scares me into action, it's the only way to motivate myself. I got a degree from Oxford but never attended a single lecture, always wrote my weekly essays at 3am before they were due and barely scraped through with a 2:2. I often look back and regret not using that time better, why oh why didn't I just turn up to lectures and do something? I've often found myself ashamed of such a low grade. But left on my own I really have no motivation to do a thing. Even getting dressed or making a sandwich is more than I can be bothered with sometimes.

I've no idea what the answer is I'm afraid. People say exercise, meditation, yoga, goal charts, reward systems...none of it works for me. I'm just happy to hide under my rock forever.

Thanks for all the replies.

I hate being like this - I feel empty and lazy.

I wish I was so different.

I just can't be bothered and I wish I had some oomph and a bit of get up and go - I have to drag myself out of bed in the morning.

One of my children is unwell and I think I've given them this gene and that bothers me the most.

@WhatsTheTea I see so much of one of my children in me. He is almost 18. He was the same as me through secondary - bright but lazy.

I've made him (encouraged, supported) to to A levels but I'm terrified he's just like me. Other people his age want to be out and about. His idea of heaven is staying at home.

So you have a job you enjoy, and you sound like you do a good job looking after your children, which takes a fair bit of effort. It is always going to be hard work for anyone to motivate themselves to do anything they don't enjoy. Stop beating yourself up, you are doing fine.

Same here & I'm the twin of @MrsMigginsMate right down to the 2.2 from Oxford! I'd eat cereal & toast if left on my own. No words of wisdom to offer. Except I do make myself exercise by going to small group personal training which is like having an appointment to go to & costs a fortune so I do keep it up, & it does benefit my mental health I find.

I do voluntary work because it's in a field I like & I don't feel like it's serious, i.e. I don't have to get there on time or do anything on schedules or up to a certain standard.

I think it's something to do with being introverted and poor executive function, which can be found with autism. Have you got any untreated mental health issues like past trauma? If so, look into addressing that. If not, it still might be worth looking into some kind of therapy/support if you can't make peace with yourself.

I'm a bit like this. I do get things done, and I am motivated sometimes by some things, but it's such an effort. I feel like I'm in a constant battle against my nature. Dh is a 'can't sit still' person. I could sit still almost indefinitely. Oh and I'm another non-lecture-attending Oxford graduate! I managed a 2:1 though, lord knows how.

Isn't it weird that there are a bunch of Oxford graduates in the same very specific thread?! I wonder if all that stress in our early 20s drained all the oomph out of us!

I dunno - I didn't find it stressful really. I did more drinking socialising than studying and stressing. I did just enough to get by and then crammed (a bit) before finals. I think one of the reasons I'm lazy is that I've always found that I can get by doing less than I feel I ought to. That goes for housework etc as well as career/school stuff. And I think I'm reasonably good at looking non-lazy to others. I meet deadlines, am never late and mostly appear to have my shit together. But I spend a lot of time doing nothing very useful and berating myself about it!