Should I have just one more DC?

[QueueCumber5]

Tonight, I have moved my youngest DC out of their bedroom and into my other DC's bedroom, as they have decided they would like to share a room. This means, our smallest bedroom is sitting empty and the fact our baby is now 4.5 is hitting me hard!

I have always wanted another baby but there have always been obstacles in our way.

Our financial situation is that we currently rent. We have only £2,000 in savings. We have a car loan that we will be paying off for the next 2 years. DH has recently been promoted and I am working again now after being a SAHM for a number of years (on a part time basis) as well as being a full time student. This means that we will now be able to comfortably put aside around £700 - £800 per month. Could possibly save up to £1,000 per month if we are reasonably careful.

DH and I are 33 and our existing DC are 7 and almost 5.

I feel like we really need to make a decision soon and I dont want to make a choice that we will later regret so i would really appreciate some advice and opinons.

Thanks :)

Sounds as if you'd be taking on a lot and how would you afford childcare etc for the new few years? However if you and your DH have always wanted 3 children then you've still got time on your side.

Where would you stand studying with a baby cos I'm doing it with OU and it's hard. Can you survive on mat leave / no pay?

Yes, studying with a baby would be tricky. Im with the OU also and have another 3 years of study to go. We would be fine with me on mat pay. Also, I only work term time which some of the local nurseries accommodate, so that would help with childcare costs.

I suppose what concerns me most is that we have no house deposit saved. Our rent at the minute is really affordable as we are renting from a family member, so that's helpful too. We do really want to own our own home at some stage though.

Do it.

Someone I know had five children, and decided to have just one more. She got twins - so ended up with seven. True!!

Do you both want a third child?

Anything is doable or can be compromised for something you really want

How much do you need to save for a house deposit?

Honestly I would prioritise a home for your existing children - think about how long it will take you to save a deposit, how long your mortgage will run for ie. until retirement on paper, then delay it by what 4years?

I really, really wouldn't in your situation. SO much more hassle, expense and stretching yourselves 3 ways. 2 is plenty for anyone, especially with the environmental devastation humans are causing meaning a bleak future. Enjoy the 2 you have. Enjoy the bliss of having a spare room!

Tricky.
You could make it work. Are you sure you want to though, sounds like you're entering the phase of being able to live more comfortably (as a family of 4).

I'd love a third baby. But I want to make sure that my existing DC get a stable upbringing and get help with large deposits for property when they are in their 20s.

Personally, I’d finish your education and get onto the property ladder and then try.

I would never for a second regret having my 3rd, but it did surprise me when he arrived how much more work it was than with two. I though DC3 would just kind of slot in, and although he's probably the most laid back of the 3, that just wasn't the case. More washing, more permutations and combinations of fussy eating to cater for (one extra person's set of 'won't eats' left us with virtually no meals that were universally acceptable), more relationships within the family that could not be going well at a given moment (1 new child = 4 new relationships, iyswim), were issues that had a bigger impact than I'd imagined. And much less chance of finding other whole families that 'match' yours in terms of children that get on with each other, for days out etc. Oh, and massively fewer options of holiday accommodation for family of 5. Definitely do it if it feels right - as I say, I certainly don't regret it - but be aware that the financial hit of maternity leave isn't the only downside.

Don’t do it! Take the easy road.