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What do you mean by 'let's meet for coffee? *lighthearted *

15 replies

Lelophants · 16/11/2020 18:51

This was inspired from another thread I read recently. What do you mean when you say that statement, do you really mean it? What do you expect when you hear it instead?

If I ever say it (which is less often these days, probably due to being worried about rejection as you'll read later on Blush) I tend to mean it. It tends to mean "oh this has been a nice chat/great go get to know you in this short time in our lives. Maybe we should make it a thing". And then generally I will try to arrange a catch up by message or something and either it does happen OR we share dates but they don't really get back to me or somehow we keep missing each other and life gets too busy and full on after all. Until we see each other again by chance and realise how nice it is and go "oh.. we should meet for coffee!" 😂 Full circle.

However I've been told this a few times since having a baby and starting to wonder what on earth it means to others! There's one lady in particular who has said it a few times to me. I've replied "great! When are you free?" Nothing. This has happened a few times and it's always been a struggle. I'm not too worried anymore as maybe we just don't click or life is too busy and I just don't stand out enough for her to make the extra effort, but it has made me wonder!

Have you ever said it and not meant it? Or what does it mean to you?

OP posts:
user1843685313563 · 16/11/2020 18:54

I only say it if I mean it. The people in my life only say it if they mean it. We actually want to see each other!

But I am aware there are some dickheads people who make a habit of saying things they don't mean to look good and then justify it as "politeness". I consider it the height of rudeness.

TyroTerf · 16/11/2020 18:57

It means "I enjoyed this chat and I'm looking forward to our next one."

It may also be intended as a cue to say "I'm free next week, what d'you think of that cafe on the corner" or similar if the other person wants to increase the range of your joint interactions. But it can be very hard to tell if this secondary meaning is there. It's all context-dependent.

Fedup21 · 16/11/2020 18:58

I would only ever say it if I meant it. Then I would invite them round for a coffee.

Diverseduvet · 16/11/2020 19:02

I would also say it only if I meant it, but I love coffee. I wouldn't necessarily have a date in mind except 'soon' but would text the person later when I did have a date free!

BefuddledPerson · 16/11/2020 19:05

When I say it, in reality what I mean is I value you and would like to meet up properly but I will never commit as I am always knackered and I hate going out after work and consider weekends to be precious family time, sorry I shouldn't have said it in the first place

Lelophants · 16/11/2020 19:07

@BefuddledPerson

When I say it, in reality what I mean is I value you and would like to meet up properly but I will never commit as I am always knackered and I hate going out after work and consider weekends to be precious family time, sorry I shouldn't have said it in the first place
Very interesting!
OP posts:
BertieBotts · 16/11/2020 19:15

I usually mean it but I am terminally terrible at arrangements so I probably will forget to actually arrange it but I don't say it unless I want to.

I think sometimes people say it to be polite/friendly but they don't have the intention behind it. For me the intention is there but my track record for intention leading to action is poor in general.

DelphineWalsh · 16/11/2020 19:15

If I wanted coffee I'd suggest a date/time.

"Let's meet for coffee" means, i value our friendship but right now I'm busy.

ShirleyPhallus · 16/11/2020 19:16

It means “let’s go for coffee”

Unless it’s a guy I fancy. Then it means “I’d really like to duck you”

ShirleyPhallus · 16/11/2020 19:17

Fuck. Oh dear. Lost the sentiment somewhat didn’t it

user1493413286 · 16/11/2020 19:21

I’ve said to people we should really meet up while knowing that I’m most likely not going to get round to organising it as I’m working a lot and knackered but if the other person were to suggest a date and place then I’d do it as I genuinely want to when I say it

fallfallfall · 16/11/2020 19:25

it means what ever your talking about is too intense/mind boggling for the street corner.
lets discuss this with a cup of tea and hopefully by then you've calmed down.

SquirrelFan · 16/11/2020 19:27

what @BefuddledPerson said

Lelophants · 17/11/2020 20:35

So quite a few knowing it'll never happen!

OP posts:
MutteringDarkly · 17/11/2020 23:08

If I suggest coffee, I mean it and I'll have a good try at making it happen by offering dates and suggesting places.
If I say "we should catch up soon" I am NEVER going to get round to fixing a date for that Blush

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