I've made a massive mistake....

[bigmistake1]

DH and I separated about 12 months ago. I work full time and have 2 young children, 8 and 9, DS2 has SEN. Ex was no use whatsoever and saw the children very little so it was all left to me to try to juggle work in a very demanding job ( particularly since covid, we've been flat out.) I had no family nearby for support so I made the really difficult decision to move 300 miles away to the town where all my family live and who were desperate to help with childcare.

So it was new schools, new job for me, and supposed to be a new house. But the house build has been delayed, so we're staying with family.

It's been 3 weeks and I'm so miserable. My boys seem to have settled into their new school really well and seem happy, even though it's been a massive upheaval for them. I just can't stop crying. I miss my former life so much. Don't know what to do. It seemed such a good idea in theory.

Thank you all so much, reading your replies really helps, knowing others understand. I don't have any friends locally, I was planning driving 60 mins away to meet with my BFF for a walk, but couldn't risk it as we're in an area with loads of cases currently. We've got a weekend booked for a get away weekend of 5 dec and I'm so hoping we manage to get away.

I was on the beach today and had the most awful anxiety. Feeling a bit better now.

Oh dear, you have taken on some of life's biggest challenges all at once. New job and new home - and not even in your home yet.

You are amazing.
You will get through this.

Take each challenge a day at a time. You know you have to stick with the job for now so try to make home working work for you- do you have a dedicated space for it? (That can be hard enough at home let alone in a relatives place) - ask your manager for a catch up call. Explain you are concerned you are not performing as best you normally do and can they tell you where they would like you to focus your energies. You will probably find you are actually doing fine.

Think up a fun thing to do with the kids next weekend- go find a new park to explore or some woods. This will give you and them something to focus on.

And come on MN and moan whenever it gets tough. Take care.

It is such early days and life is not exactly "normal" at the moment - it is hard to get out and about, get to meet new people and explore. Also, you aren't yet in your new home but temporarily with family while you wait. It is bound to feel like a huge and terrifying step, but far too early to decide it was a mistake. I reckon that you will feel very differently this time next year.