School would investigate ADHD

[Ohdoleavemealone]

DS is a real bundle of energy. Not naughty - quite the opposite - but very energetic. Talks alot, swings his legs, fidgits, makes silly noises and if we don't get out the house for at least a walk, he is like a bottle of pop about to explode.

He has always done quite well at school because he is bright and articulate. Reading is great, spelling and maths good, but his writing is his downfall. He cannot write. Really struggles to organise his thoughts and get them down on paper. It was mentioned at parents evening as it always is and I pushed for a conversation about iintervention as it has been ongoing since starting school and I have been asking for some sort of assessment of this inability as I have noticed it myself, especially over lockdown. I said Dyslexia and dsypraxia run in the family and she said if she was looking at a diagnosis, she would go down the route of ADHD.

It is all I can think about now.

We have considered it ourselves many times but I always pushed it away as when he wants to, he can concentrate on things for ages - like the tV! Except on closer inspection, he doesn't. Not really.
If he is watching TV he constantly changes position. rolling on the floor, hanging upside down, making silly noises or jiggling his legs.
I had to take him for a walk last night as I could see the energy buidling inside him. I thought he was going to burst at one point.

To be honest my overall feeling is of sadness. I work in a college and I see the way some teachers react to boys with ADHD. The eye roll when they see the notes on the system, the lask of patience with the students because they are disrupting the class, again. I am sad for him to potentially have this label, but on the other hand, without it, he is more likely to be labelled a "naughty boy" because of his inability to concentrate.

Does any have experience of raising a child with ADHD and can share what school was like for them? Any strategies we could use to help him?
I don't think he will get assessed straight away as "it may be an age thing" as said by the teacher, but if he does not improve in the next 6-8 months we will be getting the ball rolling ourselves.

We're waiting on assesment for ADHD.
DS has obsessive interests that he can concentrate on just fine.
But he really struggles to focus on anything else.
Writing is definatly a problem. I think because it requires that little bit more concentration.
Over lockdown I had him practice writing by labelling maps or diagrams so he could do one word at a time rather than whole sentances.
At school he has a reward chart for concentating and staying in his seat. If he does well he's allowed to watch a youtube video on his special interest.
And he has chewy pendants as he can concentrate better if he's chewing on something.

@unlimiteddilutingjuice if your ds has obsessive interests please make sure he is assessed for autism spectrum condition at the same time as adhd. ASD and ADHD often co-occur but also ASD is very frequently misdiagnosed as ADHD first which can be really unhelpful for your child. Obsessive interests is not a feature of Adhd, but it is of ASD.

OP, it does sound like your DS needs the assessment. If you get a diagnosis things will be much easier. You will be able to access various support and strategies to help him day to day, including considering medication at some stage when he's older (I have seen it change peoples lives but often people would rather use behavioural strategies to start with). He will avoid being labelled naughty or stupid. Have a look at ADDISS for some strategies to try already.

diddlediddle It's going to be a general assesment for both.
Hs teacher thought ASD but the psychologist at the initial assesment thought it looked more like ADHD.
I have heard adults with ADHD talk about getting hyper focused on one particular thing.

Definitely push for assessment and diagnosis as he will then get the help he needs.
6 months isn’t going to make a difference.

I have lots of experience diagnosing and treating young people with ADHD.

Please try not to worry OP, some of the traits of ADHD can lead to wonderful things if channeled in the right way. Early diagnosis is key in my experience; the sooner children with ADHD start to learn how to build coping mechanisms the better as these are skills that will last a lifetime.

Happy to answer any specific questions if that would help.

And yes, hyper focus can be common in ADHD. I've seen first hand how young people have used this to great advantage.

My son got to 17 before a tutor suggested he may have ADHD. I feel so guilty we never considered it and sad that he may have missed out on support that could have helped him in school. We are currently waiting for assessment. Please get help if your son needs it .

Was about to add that hyper focus can be a trait of ADHD.

My ds has traits of asd and adhd, but not diagnosed. He was referred to at 2 years old check up, but it was inconclusive. We haven't pursued it since he was coping fine, but he is definitely like your ds.

Writing was my ds's weak point until later in primary. He had no ability to put his thoughts onto a paper. We did some writing practice everyday, introduced by mrz, one of the MN teacher.

Can't remember the name of the method, but basically give them the simple topic, ask them to write anything comes to their mind for 1 minute. Not to worry about spelling or grammar, just concentrate on writing. We did this for over a year every day. The progress was significant after about a month. We did this in yr3, by yr5, the teacher said she can't believe he had problem writing in earlier years.

Thanks everyone. Do you think it is worth going to the GP and getting them to start an assessment now then?

Interesting about the chewing thing as DS has asked to chew gum before whilst doing work as he says it helps him concentrate.

We recently went private for ADHD diagnosis, wait times were horrendously long, like 2+ years. Was £400, worth every penny if you could afford it.

NHS waiting times I mean were horrendously long. We were seen within 3 weeks for private.

Fidget toys. My ds can concentrate way better if he has something in his hand. His choice material was blue tack.

Please ask your GP now. Don't wait. Politely request (ie demand, don't be fobbed off) a referral to the paediatric dept. They will have ASD and ADHD consultants. Do it now.

From what you have described it sounds very unlikely to be an 'age thing'. In our area the wait for NHS assessment is 2-3 years (I speak from recent experience!) If this is too long to wait I'd find a private clinic. Some local authorities/schools won't accept a diagnosis from a private assessor so try and find one who works in both NHS and private practice.

This really hurts to read.

I had ADHD, so does my daughter.

We're both very smart.

Just our brains are wired differently.

Sounds like your son has it. A diagnosis won't change him, and will probably mean he gets more support.

It's genetic so chances are you or your DH also have it. And you've got to adulthood fine.

give them the simple topic, ask them to write anything comes to their mind for 1 minute. Not to worry about spelling or grammar, just concentrate on writing.

pastandpresent That sounds like a great technique. I'm going to try that out on DS

Ohdoleavemealone this is the chewy pendant DS uses.

Yes, absolutely hyper focus is a thing in ADHD. However I have worked for many years with children with both ASD and ADHD and hyper focus is relatively rarely seen in young children, and it doesn't really look like an obsessive interest, whereas special interests are a core feature of ASD. Glad you're getting a general assessment and be cautious about the advice from the psychologist if she is not specialised in ASD. Good luck.

Speak to school Senco. Get yourself on her 'list'. Better still email her, so you have a paper trail.

I also agree with pp re going private.

I would also suggest considering going private at the same time. I did, and it helped a lot. I was advised to do so and it made a big difference. It's a clever way to play the system and speed things up.

I had a nightmare at out first NHS appointment - Dr A was dismissive.
Then I deliberately took some time to investigate - found out that Dr A was not the ASD specialist, but the ADHD specialist. So, I found out which of the Doctors was the main ASD man. Who was most respected, top dog consultant. And I then found out that this Doctor did both NHS appointments, but also Private. You need to find one who does both. That's the important bit!

Went to see him privately (Dr B) and he in fact directed us to someone else for part ADOS testing. Cost was £200, which I think was still the best money I EVER spent!!

Then when I finally got back to the NHS clinic, unfortunately a new, Dr C saw us. But when he saw my evidence of that Dr B had privately directed us to his Dr B's private colleague, his whole attitude changed.

Worth every penny!!

Often schools won’t push for assessment initially to see if things settle. With Dyslexia schools tend to take action when kids are 7 or 8 years.

Read up on ADHD as there are lots of helpful techniques. There is also medication if required.

The strong focus you’re talking about is hyper focus and it’s common with ADHD

Please don’t feel sad, he’s amazing and perfect and well loved just the way he is. Everybody has their own things to wrestle with whether it’s background, disability, illness, family problems.

The only thing I can say is that whatever the outcome of diagnosis, your child is still the same person. Any diagnosis is just about understanding their needs and helping them to thrive. For that reason I would advocate early diagnosis where possible, not least because it is a slow process, with an overwhelmed system and children can end up in crisis pretty quickly.

Try not to focus on what the teacher says, they are not qualified to make a diagnosis. DS1’s year R teacher queried ADHD (in a very unprofessional manner), but he ended up with Asperger’s which I think it a better diagnosis for him. He does have periods of high energy activity but for him they are linked to feeling uncomfortable or sensorily overwhelmed.

It is sad that your experience of ADHD is so negative but the benefit of early diagnosis is earlier intervention and coping mechanisms (she says while hiding in the bathroom and hearing the chaos from downstairs - we had a tough day yesterday and I don’t want a repeat. The hardest thing about my child is that he is always ‘on’ and rarely calm)

Thank you everyone. You have been so helpful. I will speak to DH about going to the GP. He will definitley be on board as he believes it to be him who has it.
He often struggled in school despite being very intelligent. Ds is such a lovely boy and like so many kids could do better with the right support.

I also think it will help DH and I in our parenting to better understand some of his behaviours.

Just to add OP, he could have dyslexia as well. Apparently that can be quite common to have both.

My daughter has a dx of dyslexia and dyspraxia - she's also been a bundle of energy forever. I haven't gone down the ADHD route - yet.

She's an excellent reader (top 2%), very bright and articulate, but couldn't spell her own name at 8. Writing and getting her thoughts down is a big struggle and she still makes many mistakes at 11. She was diagnosed at 8 privately with an ed psych. The only time she is still is in deep concentration, reading.

School had been perplexed for a long time apparently, as she didn't fit the (incorrect) 'struggles to read' ideas they had about dyslexia.

DH is dyslexic, but my brother has been adult diagnosed as having ADHD.

DS has diagnoses of dyslexia, dyspraxia and ASD. He's a fidget which tends to be a combination of the motorskills and stability of dyspraxia, and one of the tests identified that his twitchiness increases as he is trying to focus attention.

Watching something like His Dark Materials with him is not relaxing as he shuttle runs up and down the room and bobs up and down the sofa with all the dramatic tension. Watching TV is not a sedentary activity...

Diagnoses are helpful in understanding a child's behaviour and motivation and removes some of the frustration involved in that as well as directing to more fruitful behaviour/ learning strategies.

ADHD/ ASD/ dyspraxia can have a lot of overlap, but diagnostic processes can identify the subtlyies of difference.