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Original poster

Kids sharing a room

32 replies

Trousersareoverrated · 14/11/2020 19:15

We have a 4 bedroom house. 2 of the rooms are very small doubles and 2 are a bit more spacious. Currently DH and I have a large room, DD (2) has a small room and DSD (11) has a small room (her choice- it has the nicest view). The other larger room is a spare room/study as I work from home.

I’m now pregnant and we are starting to think about getting a room ready for the new arrival. My initial thought is to move DD into the other large room, buy bunk beds and make that into a room that the 2 little ones can share for a few years so we can still have a separate spare room/study. The age gap will be roughly 3 years and I was thinking that room sharing would be ok until DD is about 6ish or possibly longer if they are both girls and happy with the arrangement.

Has anyone had experience of small children with a 3 year age gap sharing a room? Is it a nightmare or perfectly manageable?

OP posts:
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 14/11/2020 19:22

I have a two year gap, and they shared until 6/8. The eldest (the quiet, introverted one) wanted her own space then. Now they have seperate rooms, but choose to share sometimes.

Original poster
Trousersareoverrated · 14/11/2020 19:47

Oh that’s reassuring @Aroundtheworldin80moves. Are they both girls?

OP posts:
KatharinaRosalie · 14/11/2020 19:49

My 5 and 7 have never mentioned not wanting to share even though we have a spare room too. I expect they will share at least for another couple of years.

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Families
TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 14/11/2020 19:50

I have just over 2 years between my boys. They've just stopped sharing this summer at 15 and 13. It was fine.

PolarnOPirate · 14/11/2020 19:52

My 2 boys are 5 and 3 and share, it’s generally fine but DC2 has always been an amazing sleeper (touch wood).

mnahmnah · 14/11/2020 19:54

I have two boys that share and there is 5 years between them. They’ve shared since the youngest was 5 months old - the eldest would sleep if a steam train came through the room luckily, so he was never woken by the teething screaming! They’re now 9 and 4 and love sharing still. They climb into bed on a morning together to play on their amazon fire tablets, which gives us some peace! When I suggested their own rooms when we move house they said they didn’t want to

selflove · 14/11/2020 20:05

I have a 6yr old & 4yr old who share (girl/boy). They are as thick as thieves, and play so well together. I love sneaking outside their door to listen them whispering to each other when they are meant to be asleep, and turn a blind eye when I see one of them sneak some biscuits up there before bed for their "midnight feasts". I don't have the space for them to have their own rooms atm, but when we stay with relatives who have loads of spare rooms, they still choose to share.

Original poster
Trousersareoverrated · 14/11/2020 20:05

Thanks for the answers everyone. Sounds like room sharing can be a lovely bonding experience. I’ll start looking out for suitable bunk beds!

OP posts:
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 14/11/2020 20:06

@Trousersareoverrated

Oh that’s reassuring *@Aroundtheworldin80moves*. Are they both girls?
Both girls. DD1 is rather sensitive to noise... And DD2 has just been described as 'Tigger' on parents evening. If DD wasnt so exhausting and dd1 wasn't so quiet they could have easily shared a lot longer.
JohnLapsleyParlabane · 14/11/2020 20:08

My DD is just 5 and my DS is 19m. They've shared at DDs request since he was 6m.
It's going well. They don't seem to disturb each other.

Elvesinquarantine · 14/11/2020 20:08

Dd's 15 months apart share. Teens.
Ds 12 and ds 6 share. Oldest is moving to his own room after Xmas. They are happy to be sharing.
Older ds's shared with 2.9 between them as dc. Adults know and no damage done by sharing!

BogRollBOGOF · 14/11/2020 21:33

Mine shared until 6/8. We were already partway through dealing with the box room to make it inhabitable for DS1 when he got his ASD diagnosis and needed a more private, quiet space. Sharing worked well for a number of years and helped with capacity to deal with lengthy DIY/ building work on another bedroom.

It also made bedtime reading much easier!

Canyousewcushions · 14/11/2020 21:49

Mine share by choice with a similar age gap. They like having each other's company and the security of knowing the other is in the room with them. We do sometimes get squabbles- similar to a PP, DD1 is quite sensitive and DD2 can be really annoying, but when offered their own space they never say yes. They're now 8 and 5, and have shared for abiut 4 years.

Disadvantage can be that one can wake the other by singing etc in the mornings, and the reverse can happen at bedtime- sometimes mutual chatter and sometimes one disturbing the other.

When they were you get it was great for shared stories etc though less relevant now as the 8 year old is into much longer books that don't hold the 5 year old's interest.

On the whole they're happy though and it gives us flexibility in what the other bigger bedroom is used for which is also a bonus!

Disastermagnet27 · 14/11/2020 21:59

DS's aged 9 and 6 share and have done since DS2 was about 3. Ds1 has always been a good sleeper but DS2 less so. He often ends up in our bed during the night.
They have bunk beds too. Sharing is not an issue for them although I think DS1 would like his own room soon. 2 years and 11 months between them and they generally get on well.

HazelWong · 14/11/2020 22:06

I don't really get why you would have them share when you don't have to.

Personally, I wouldn't feel very comfortable leaving my two in a room together overnight (4 and 1). They get on well but can be unpredictable - e.g. accidentally rough with each other or doing silly things.

If your room is big, presumably you could work in there?

Indoctro · 14/11/2020 22:17

22 months between my boys who are now 4/6 years old

We have a 5 bed so plenty of room but they have shared since youngest was 18 months old in bunk beds together

They love sharing and settled into it with no problems.

I can hear them laughing and messing about / arguing sometimes but I ignore them and normal it's silent within 30 minutes.

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 14/11/2020 22:17

How long will you keep the baby in your room?

It all seems a bit soon to start moving rooms & buying bunk beds 🤣

I personally wouldn't put a baby in with a toddler. I wouldn't trust them not to 'helpfully' pull the baby's covers up etc. Or try to lift them out of the cot.

I'd wait at least a year before deciding who is going where!

burglarbettybaby · 14/11/2020 22:20

Mine have always shared. Year and a half gap. I think they will for a good couple of years yet (possibly until they are 11 or 12)
They get on so well. We've two spare rooms but they are great pals.

LER83 · 14/11/2020 23:33

My 3 have all shared in various different ways. Currently the 2 boys aged 10 & 5 share. They both have autism and are polar opposites, so it can be interesting, but they don't complain. Dd aged 8 was toying with sharing with ds 5, but think she has changed her mind. Eldest ds and dd shared from when dd was about 8 months and are really close. All 3 shared at one point, when youngest was about 18 months, which they used to love! I know lots of families where siblings have chosen to share even though they don't have to.

Original poster
Trousersareoverrated · 15/11/2020 03:52

@WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants I am thinking about this now as DD is still in a cot but is nearly ready for a ‘big’ bed and I’d like to get her settled in that before the disruption of a newborn comes along so I will need to buy the bed itself soon. Also it’s a lot easier to decorate and rearrange a room without a baby around. Of course the baby will be in our room for the recommended 6 months at least so the actual sharing won’t start for some time.

Good point about safety but the cot we have is pretty deep. DD certainly wouldn’t be able to reach in and move covers around - and dd was in a sleeping bag til she was 2 so I expect the baby will be the same.

OP posts:
StopMakingATitOfUrselfNPissOff · 15/11/2020 07:05

My two share, they are just under 3 years apart, boy and girl.

No issues here. Eldest in a bed and youngest still in a cot. It helps that my eldest is a champion sleeper so was rarely disturbed by the younger one.

It’s working fine for us at the moment and frees up a room for WFH

KatharinaRosalie · 15/11/2020 07:38

don't really get why you would have them share when you don't have to.

Because mine prefer to share a room and don't like sleeping alone.

HazelWong · 15/11/2020 11:35

Good point about safety but the cot we have is pretty deep. DD certainly wouldn’t be able to reach in and move covers around - and dd was in a sleeping bag til she was 2 so I expect the baby will be the same.

I wouldn't be so sure about this. Most 3 year olds can climb into a cot and they can be quite inventive about things to stand on. It's not just about reach.

I guess I see it as I wouldn't leave my 4 year old unsupervised for more than a couple of minutes with my 1 year old during the day so I don't see how it's safe at night

Takeittotheboss · 15/11/2020 12:01

My two shared for 8 years. DD(8) and DS(3) at start. When DD was 16, she wanted her own room, so they stopped then though DS was in room accessed through her room, so still connected. Now 22 and 17, happy to share when needed or on holidays. Always had a great relationship.

wendz86 · 15/11/2020 12:04

I have a 5 and 9 year old (both girls) sharing a room. Can't afford a bigger place at the moment but they get on fine with it.