Do we tell our DD she is being assessed for autism?

[lalalalaloo]

Quick one- DD is being assessed for ASD.

She's 9.

No one has told us whether she should be told about the process. She knows she is getting help for mental health concerns and has counselling.

Has anyone been through this?

My DS was assessed for something similar aged 7 and the opinion was he didn't have it. We just said something vague but reassuring about the appointment, so it didn't put any specific ideas in his head and I'm glad that's what we did given how it turned out. Good luck OP.

Definitely keep it vague because there's always the possibility she won't be given a diagnosis. Everyone presumes assessment = diagnosis, but that's far from true.

Tell her these people are trying to identify and understand and what she's struggling with and then will see if there are ways to help her.

Oh and re the report itself when you get it, do remember it only focuses on the negative things and if you're not aware of how they are written, can be quite upsetting to read if you've not seen one before and you'll need time yourself to adjust to the observations and conclusions it contains.

Do keep to the forefront of your mind that a diagnostic report does not describe your child as a whole person, it only describes the things that your child struggles with and it should also contain recommendations for home and school to help your daughter.

Yes definitely. We showed our son videos of autistic people that we knew he would enjoy (Guy Martin mainly for him). And explained that some people's brains worked in different ways and that this gave them certain superpowers but it also makes other things really hard (we gave examples of both of those things). He's really quite proud of his diagnosis.

This video provides a child-friendly explanation of ASD

www.bdadyslexia.org.uk/dyslexia/neurodiversity-and-co-occurring-differences/autism-spectrum-disorder

yes, only give her the information after the assessment

Thank you for the advice guys. We are definitely not a stiff upper lip family and will talk to her about if the diagnosis happens.

I suspect she will need help with her MH as She grows anyway- she's already getting counselling outside of the assessment.

It might be a thing where if she is diagnosed she will understand why she finds it hard to compromise, and share experiences with friends. The nurse said to us that it is far better to diagnose early as friendships become more thorny in high school and she will need support and techniques to help.

We got the initial referral notes through today- they were a hard read. She's fine most of the time but reading all of her 'quirks' in black and white was shocking.

reading all of her 'quirks' in black and white was shocking
It can be, but it doesn't describe her holistically, it's only describing the parts of her behaviour and understanding that may need help.

The most important thing you can start emphasising is that being different does not equate to being wrong.

There was a lovely example upthread of driving your own car then having to adjust everything to drive a different car.
Windows and Mac are totally different types of computer but they can both do the same things.
Reinforce different is fine.

You've not mentioned any sensory issues, but see if anything in this booklet rings any bells, if so, mention it at or before the assessment
www.falkirk.gov.uk/services/social-care/disabilities/docs/young-people/Making%20Sense%20of%20Sensory%20Behaviour.pdf?

@lalalalaloo

Ok. She's the kind of child that will have a million questions, is very intelligent and capable etc.

I was more worried about disrupting the objective assessment because if she knows someone is coming/talking to her she will absolutely change her behaviour. She's very aware of some things.

I think we won't use the autism word unless she is diagnosed. She is under the impression that she is getting help with some things that she struggles with (making and maintaining friendships, thought patterns, trouble with dealing with change) and so she knows she has a 'nurse' and a 'counsellor'

I thought this for my ds.. didn't go in with him. Was in a happy mood, liked her - very unusual for any member of camhs....i was certain she woukd say no diagnosis but from report it was clear she had seen him