How bad is temporary accommodation

[tiredeyesyeah]

I need to leave my ex and I'll be taking my reception child with me.

My local council have temp accommodation available for me in another borough and I've told them that I'll get back to them as I'm not sure what kind of place we will end up in.

Are facilities shared? Is it just a bnb hostel room? Are they grotty?

I'm not quite sure what all the practicalities will be. Would DD need to go to a new school? New GP? How will I move all of our stuff (clothes, books etc, no furniture)?

Until you tell them yes they won’t really be able to tell you because it goes so quickly.
In London myself/friends have been placed in b&bs (just the bed), hotels, hostels and flats.
Facilities vary a lot.
B&bs and hotels are very expensive as there’s no cooking facilities.

There’s also the rent deposit scheme for private, usually done via housing benefit.

Even if going through a refuge for abuse doesn’t necessarily speed things along. Then of course there’s not always spaces. Just before lockdown a friend was going to be sent to Sheffield from London as it was the nearest place. Had she declined she would have made herself homeless and they would not help.

Ok. Well I'm not sure how serious/urgent my situation is, although the atmosphere just feels wrong.

I don't want to be explicit here, but last week I was laying in DD's bed- we share the bed- doing some coursework. My ex, who had just got out the shower, comes in to DD's room naked, I asked him what he wants...etc... next he rubbed himself against me and put his hand (thumb to index finger) around the back of my neck. I froze when he did it, then screamed at him and cried, and he wouldn't stop until I really shouted, I'm sure the neighbours could hear.

He started strangling me 3 years in to the relationship, but stopped and hasn't done it for a long time so I thought he was just a bit immature and frustrated with his own feelings at the time. We split at the beginning of the year because of his heavy cannabis use, his reluctance to support me financially by making it hard for me to work- he wouldn't bother looking after DD, then had to claim benefits as a single person. Plus, his sexist attitudes were getting me down and I didn't want DD to be around that (yet still living at his ). I just wanted to show him that his behaviour is not ok around our daughter- hoping he would change.

I've come to realise that he never will and just want to go, but I think I'm scared about what life would be like.

OP your ex sounds abusive, even if he’s not attacking you, I don’t know if you feel comfortable to but maybe you ought to disclose this and see if there is any more support for you and your daughter with this move.

Are you able to commute to your daughters school from the other Borough? If you can you could keep the same school for now, until you are settled. Also if you might be able to move to private rented maybe you’ll want to wait to move schools?

Yeah, he's not attacking me..yet. I think I'll have to say something, but will they even believe me? They might just think I was trying to get a place to live. But they did say they would help me last time because I was honest about my situation, saying i was still living with ex and was not threatened with homelessness but wanted to leave because were no longer in a relationship.

I've actually checked to see if i could commute to DD's school and the commute is not actually that bad.

What do I say to ex when I leave though? Could end up in a dangerous situation

DD got a sizeable flat in a rough area of town. The heating was jammed on in the middle of summer. It was nicer than their housing association flat.

You don't.
You find people that you trust to help you get him out of the place, and help get you moved out. Take as much as possible because ime trying to get these things afterwards is a massive pita as they love playing games.

Make sure you have all documents somewhere safe - proof of ID for you both and anything with proof of address. Without these, everything will be complicated and take longer.

And remember it's just temp. You could take the place for some breathing space where you will be able to think clearer without him there. It would also give you time to find out and access the private rental schemes, which tbh in London, this is the only way (other than buying) will you get somewhere you want to be.

When you are rehoused due to homelessness, you have one choice in the property they offer. Doesn't matter if your neighbours all have drug dens, the state of the property or how high crime rates etc are.

Not all councils help with furniture if you ever manage to get housed either. Most offer a small decorating grant.

does he ever go out, if so, that's the time to leave.
do. not. tell him.

that behaviour you describe is abusive, and tell them the council everything, about illegal drug use, irrational behaviour, strangling, assault as yesterday etc. sexually harassing.
do not minimise.
you may be able to arrange police presence, to accompany or stand by while you leave. tell them history of strangulation.
try to spirit away your documents beforehand, to a trusted friend/relative. as he may try to destroy those to impede your flight.
just get out. take any help. doesn't matter where what. compared with living in those circumstances. good luck.