Would you stay off or go back? At odds with guilt & inability to make a decision.

[Pickypolly]

For the first time in my life (I’m old) I’ve experienced severe anxiety and depression.
I’ve been bad.
All work related.
It came to a head.
I couldn’t function, think, perform in my very much loved job.

So I spoke to my manager, spoke to my GP. Took time off, so far 6 weeks.
My manager rang yesterday as I hadn’t realised that my sick note ran out yesterday, I thought I had another 2 weeks on it.
I said I would be back on Monday.

I don’t feel like vomiting at the thought.
I know that it is beyond horrific at work currently, I know it’s not going to get better, I know that staffing is critically low, in fact levels are dangerous.
I know I will be dragged into tasks which are not my job description.
I think I can cope with it. The guilt is crushing.
But I don’t know.
Anyone got words of advice, i feel so bad letting them down.

Oh dear, I’ve killed another thread dead.

After 6 weeks off, your line manager should be expecting a phased return to work and you may need a drs note to say that.

If you don't feel ready though you need to be contacting the Dr and let them know, and that's ok. You should not feel guilty about needing this time off to get better.

Is there a plan to manage your stress beyond taking time off?

The problem with work based stress is that not being at work immediately provides a relief but ultimately unless something at work changes you'll have to go back to the same situation.

Plans might include

• counselling or medication for you
• amendment to work duties
• amendment to management structure if the problem is your manager/team mates
• amendment to work hours

Without that, going back will only exacerbate the situation.

Have your workplace made any suggestions? Are they aware of what you were finding difficult? Have they suggested occupational health or employee assistance programme?

Exactly as Jelly says. Anxiety and depression don't just turn off after 6 weeks. It can take longer.

I think you need another 2 weeks off to mentally assess if your able to go back and only go back on a phased return with an occ health assessment. Part of your recovery is easing back into things again gently. Two days notice after 6 weeks off is no good.

Enjoy your time off, put in place some coping strategies and don't push too hard otherwise you will make yourself even more unwell. Your better to take the time now properly and go back stronger and able to help your colleagues.

Been to Occy health. 4 counselling sessions provided. Hit & miss, not helpful so far unfortunately.
I feel better for being away & switching off the “work noise” for a while.
I’m going in on Monday to speak with manager, I have a time slot (extremely busy with little time to spare)
Presume I’ll be back full time, can’t see how I can do it phased.

Things cannot change at work. My duties also remain the same, plus the additional duties forced on me.

I speak from experience here in that work based stress that triggers anxiety does not mean you cannot cope with your work it means your resilience is worn down to such a point that your body is on high alert. It's getting this high alert to calm down using rationalisation techniques (CBT) that will get you back into work. Definitely reduce your hours on your return and use your annual leave wisely.

Mood has taken a huge nose dive since that conversation with my manager.
I’m not ready, I can’t do it, I just can’t.
Will ring GP Monday.