How to be ‘less intense’ personality-wise ?

[Truly2435]

I know I’m intense and in some ways that has benefited me with work, being productive and so on but I know socially, it overwhelms people.

What things would make you think a person is too intense and any tips for behaving less intense?

Please don’t tell me ‘love yourself, the right people will love your intensity etc’ as I personally want to change too. I know I’ll never become a completely non-intense person but at least if I can get to some sort of mid-point, that would be great.

There's a mum from school who asks a lot of questions which feels like she is compiling a dossier. She gets a lot of information out of people without giving much away herself. (she does then go on to share sometimes quite private things with others!). It's quite the skill but does make me uncomfortable. I think it's good to be able to offer up something from your own life occasionally if you're "pumping" people for info or conversations can feel very unbalanced.

How is life treating you now op? Did you find a way to be less intense? I resonated with your post as my DH tells me I am intense - I know I am with him; we have two small children and yet I constantly want to talk and analyse or discuss so many areas of our lives, probably far too much. Yet then I feel lonely by trying to curb conversation.
Just wondering if you had any more recent tips.
Thank you.