I've been chatting with a lovely bloke for quite a few months now (July time). to be honest I've not been myself lately and he's just wonderful. He's able to talk about a range of things. He flirts and compliments me but also we've talked about loads of different things. We've both talked about fancying eachother. But as with everything in life it's not straight forward and I feel as though I can't really do what's right for me without loosing everyone and hurting everyone.
For two years now me and my boyfriend have had nothing intimate between us. We have choosen to do our own thing and there's no sex, kissing, sleeping in the same room anymore. Our conversations are dull. The feelings just aren't there for me anymore and we both just look after the kids and do our own thing. The reason I haven't done anything about it is for the children. But also the financial side to it. I'm a sahm but used to work. So there's no chance I could leave anytime soon. But also we have a mortgage that was mine first. I'd happily give him everything as ultimately I want to just live life happily. I've tried to make it work. But he can't even watch Tele with me without being glued to his phone. It's just at the point where I feel so lonely and I need to be real about the future.
But I feel like there's so many issues with getting to know this man. I met him at a BBQ and he was just a breath of fresh air. But he's never given up on me. He's everything I miss. He's interesting. He cares. He makes me laugh. He has had problems and we've talked about them and it's been nice to feel close to someone on that level again. We've not done anything just talking. I have told him I'm not going to play games so basically I would be honest with my bf before I'd ever meet him again let alone kiss etc. I'm also taking my time with this friendship.
The trouble is this man is
15 years older. His kids are only 8 and 9 years younger than me. My kids are really little. I can literally see all my family turning on me as they have no idea that we are not really connected anymore. I literally feel like I'm not allowed to do this. But I really really like him and it's so tough. My family would unlikely never accept this man. They would expect me to make things work and think I was horrible. But I'm really sad. My boyfriend is not horrible and it breaks my heart but I'm too young to be in such a dead relationship.
Do you think it's ridiculous to be getting involved? I am aware its technically wrong to be speaking to him but how can I belong to someone who I don't have any of the love stuff with?
Please be kind to me. I adore this man and he's made my mental health feel so much better