Does anyone else have a highly efficient partner?

[Merename]

DH is a very driven person. When he gets into a job he really goes for it, loves systems and organisation. I feel like I should love this about him (I am usually naturally a procrastinator) and sometimes I do but it causes so many problems! We are moving house in 3.5 weeks and I have been anxious we’ve done little packing. We started today and he’s done his usual thing, packing everything in sight, I’ve already had to ask for this and that - gone. Now I’m anxious about how to live without all these things for nearly a month! I find it really frustrating and feel like he lacks common sense. He finds my frustration frustrating and feels I’m ungrateful and need to be more appreciative of the work he has done. I think he has a point but I find it hard to get past/ conceal my inner ‘how can you be such a dufus’. I suspect I’m being a bit perfectionist and if you want a job done you have to accept hardship, but still. I also suspect if I had a lazy husband that did nothing I would be more frustrated. But I still am, argh!

Anyone else?

If he's packing things you are going to need though, that is NOT efficient. Nor systematic. Nor a good organisational system.
'CRacking on' with sorting out the packing, would be great, if it were being done efficiently. Hiding things you still need isn't helpful at all.

Yy, it's the opposite of efficient. He's wasted loads of time and effort packing things that you will need, which will therefore have to be unpacked, then re packed.

What has he packed that you need? I think a bit more context is needed?

LOL that's the opposite of efficient. What's he actually packing? What's his system? He's just sounds very gung-ho. Is he a bit controlling, as well? Those things go hand in hand. I remember by dad used to come in and "clean" the kitchen every few months, i.e. chuck out everything in sight, including bills which were piled up waiting to get paid. My mum used to scream at him. It was carnage.

I'd be rather tempted to be passive aggressive and ask him to e.g. peel the spuds - "oh what's that dear, you packed the peeler away? Well never mind, I'm sure you'll find a way to peel 3 kilos of potatoes for tonight's dinner, thanks so much!"

It's great to be super efficient, which I am not, but my late Husband was. It saved me a lot of worry years ago, as we moved around quite often, and once went to live in the Usa for three years. I was all at sea then with the packing, as we had to send lots of stuff by sea freight, quite a while before we actually moved, but my Husband had every single thing in hand at all times.I wasn't bothered about what he had packed up, just glad that I didn't have to worry about it.

Haha yes point taken, it’s not entirely efficient!! But it’s not disastrous stuff that has been packed - a winter coat for my 2yr old, a hot water bottle for my mum who stays once a week and always uses, kids bedtime stories - he’s only left a tiny selection for next 3 weeks. But nothing life and death! And nothing that he’s understood I think is important. He just gets so absorbed in these things and can’t stand half done jobs. But yeah I think it’s ok for me to find it irritating and doesn’t mean I’m ungrateful - or perhaps it does. That was my dilemma last night anyway. We will have a chat about it today. Thank you for your comment @1forAll74, as I think if he were to die I would look back at all these wee character traits fondly I’m sure. @Sadhoot definitely not controlling, he’s a darling but he has issues about being ‘useful’. His mum is a difficult woman and always called him ‘useless’. So I suppose by efficient I mean more motivated, he will go go go until a job is done and this can be great but feels a bit like a bull in a china shop sometimes. Often he will lose instructions or papers we need when he’s just pushing to tidy up etc. I need a way to communicate about this part without pushing his critical mum buttons I think, which is hard because I just get irritated and critical!!

I'd argue all those things are required.
Poor him, what what a pita.

Did you not discuss what was being packed or did he just do it when you were busy /out of the house ?

yes, my DH

We had an overarching packing discussion last week but no ‘can I empty the last of DDs wardrobe’ discussion which I would have liked. I think that may form part of the chat - don’t need him to consult me on every thing he packs but things like kids clothes which are my department I think it’s reasonable. I don’t expect him to know mum always wants a hot water bottle but I know it’s important for her which then gives me a problem.

Haha @LittleOverwhelmed! That is a nice summary of the situation!! Although if he was reading this he’d argue passionately against being a non thinker. He does spend time thinking about systems etc but his need for usefulness and completion overrides sense at times. Not always. I need to remember that! Sorry for your non doer DH - in starting this thread in some ways I think I hoped for a nudge that this situation could be worse. I hope he has other redeeming qualities!

Pack everything neatly and write an itemised list on every box. If you want to be super efficient start shared Google doc, number the boxes and put the lists in there. E.g Box 1 - Sitting Room - Dvds
Box 2 - Sitting Room - Children's books. If you need something use the search function on the doc.