Small talk for the socially awkward

[dubyalass]

Help a gal out, please. Off to stay with an acquaintance in a few weeks, assuming lockdown ends (ha), for a bit of a break. We are both shy and socially awkward; I am crap at small talk even with people I know well. There is the added complication that we quite fancy each other. It might be that the conversation flows easily, but probably not!

What kinds of things are good conversation starters?

Oh golly I'm the worst person to ask...I have in the past on awkward dates found it helpful to read the newspaper beforehand as it makes you seem interesting gives you topics of conversation and to have a few recent anecdotes to tell and let the conversation meander from there. Conversation starters...how was your journey, what have you been up to today...see bored already

Ask about their life and then listen attentively! Gets me through most of my social interactions. E.g. how is work, how is partner, what are you doing for Christmas, how have things been during lockdown?

Most people love to talk about themselves.

Reminisce on things you enjoyed before and look out for unusual news stories to share, not heavy politics if you're aiming at flirting too.

The weather, a cliche yes but always a good one.
A compliment. Something like clothes or hair, "I really like your jacket/dress/shoes, what a lovely colour".
Locations, "so are you from here? It seems like a nice place"
Any hobbies if you can suss it out, walking, books, TV, music, film
Events, Xmas, sport, news and current affairs

Talking about films and food are generally safe topics.

As you will be staying with them, you can ask things such as what they are reading, what foods you can cook together, which local places you might visit. Before you go, look up some local history/places of interest so you can chat about them.
Perhaps take a couple of DVDs with you for a film session, or the ingredients for a couple of different cocktails for a mixing session? If they've got a garden that is always a talking point, perhaps with a visit to a garden centre?

If you've got a hobby be prepared to talk about it, ask them about their interests.

Good ideas there - thanks all. I know nothing of his background/childhood/youth up to the point where we first met some 15 years ago, so that’s would be a great starting point. We’ve both travelled lots, which should help. And we only see each other every few years due to distance, so there are the bits in between to catch up on. Plus some shared interests.

I feel a bit more confident now. I’m really looking forward to seeing him but didn’t want us both sitting there like a rabbits in the headlights trying to think of something to say!