First time mum in round two of lockdown

[Rhian1991]

Hi everyone.

I've had mixed feelings about writing on here and starting a thread about this topic but then I thought why not.

I'm a first time Mum. I had my baby boy in June of this year. I was heavily pregnant in the first lockdown where I spent my whole maternity leave alone other than when my partner was home from work. Now in the second lockdown here I am with a 5 month old. No support groups, no mother and baby classes, no health visitors and now no family or friends for the next month. It's a crazy time but I'm in no illusion that I'm the only one. I know there are other first times mums, second times mums etc out there that feel the exact way that I do. My baby is now 5 months old and I've begun the weaning process and getting him into a proper bedtime routine. It's overwhelming but I think I'm doing OK. I'm proud of what I've achieved and how far I've come as a first time Mum with basically no guidance. I have days when I feel really lonely and guilty that I have brought a baby into this mad world but then I look at him and realise I can't imagine a world without him in it.

I wanted to start this thread to get other Mums talking about how they feel now were in round two of lockdown. We should all be supporting eachother as we're doing the world's hardest job in such uncertain times.

We rock. X

I'm pregnant with dc3 and so glad they're not dc1. At least I know when things are shit other people are having the same experience and we'll all be able to have a laugh about it afterwards. I really needed that with dc1

My DC is 8 months, I had her 2 weeks before the first lockdown. I'm at a stage where I need to start thinking about nurseries. It's nearly 3am and I'm wide awake feeling like crying because I don't know what to do.
She's had virtually no time away from me and at 12 months I'm going to have to ship her off full time.

My DP has just started WFH and is doing so on the kitchen table. We're awaiting equipment from work
(desks/chairs) andd told there's months delays, by the time that comes I will be going back to work myself. He's said I'm fine to make noise to play but I feel like I can't and have to be careful incase a call comes through.

I feel the same as you, it's been utterly rubbish. This November time was supposed to be my time for baby to really catch up with people and she was going to spend more time out the house.

I'm currently a SAHM with a toddler under 2 , luckily my second child. I have so much sympathy for first time mums this year, you are all doing an incredible job. Hopefully you can find people on local Facebook groups, I know our NCT has been putting together walks for mums so maybe when lockdown ends you can find people in the same boat as you. Hold tight, next year will be better xx

FTM here too and DS was also born in June. I have so many mixed feelings about how covid has affected the experience. Whilst I was pregnant I was really grateful to be wfh. I could wear comfy clothes, save commuting time and have a lunchtime nap. I did have DH at home though.

Now DS is here I’ve really struggled with the lack of support. We live abroad and family haven’t been able to travel. We waited months for DS passport and now lockdown has started. On the flip side I do have DH at home again so he helps out here and there during the day which I’m hugely grateful for. I go back to work in the new year and I’m desperately hoping that the office is open. I really need to be around people again.

I had my first baby at the end of July. No one saw me with a bump. Wfh was good though during the first lockdown and I felt very well right up until giving birth, I would normally be getting a bus and the tube to work so I think that helped. But he has only met his grandparents twice, no other family members, with live far from family. It's so sad, my parents are so gutted. We do zoom calls and I can see my mum gets upset, she just wants to cuddle him. We've had no support with a 'not easy' baby. Can't even meet up with our nct group. But DP is wfh so hasn't missed out on him growing up. I really hope next year is better and I can experience a little bit of what I thought mat leave would be.

I'm pregnant with my first Found out I was pregnant just before the first lockdown been through nearly the whole pregnancy by myself and am having a c section in two weeks I've been through depression throughout this pregnancy due to relationship problems not being able to see my boyfriend and the lockdown. We don't live near eachother so I am away from him and this is the time I need him most I have only two weeks left until the baby is here and am feeling so alone I just want to be with my boyfriend but he ignores me a lot so I'm really upset

In the same boat here - DS was born a few weeks before first lockdown. I went back to work in August and he started nursery a few weeks ago having never seen another baby up close for an extended period of time! I was worried he would hate it but seems to be doing OK so far.

I know that lots of people have it much, much worse, but I think I will always feel sore about how this year affected my maternity leave. Someone posted similar a while back and got absolutely ripped apart on here and told that she should be grateful for being healthy and safe etc. I get that. But I still feel sad that my mat leave wasn’t how I expected it to be, spending time with my friends and family, going out for coffee and to baby groups. So many of my friends have never met my baby and I do think lockdown has been the cause of that, by the time summer came around with fewer restrictions, I was already in the habit of staying at home/can’t be bothered to do stuff that takes an effort. I don’t live close to family so they don’t see DS very much at all.

I am a FTM, my baby was born in early June. I feel sad that we've never been to a baby group and have just been at home the whole time. I also get very very upset that she hasn't been "celebrated" as the family cannot get together, and her first Christmas will be a shit one. I never thought in her first year my child wouldn't have been to a family party - like a birthday party or something. There's more babies on the way so she will be old news by the time this is all over. I'm an older mum so I've waited a long time for all of this. This second lockdown though, I'm treasuring every moment with her as she's growing so fast.

I really do feel for first time mums and all mums with babies during the pandemic. I can't imagine not having the support network you mentioned in your op, I remember how much I had after my first, from professionals at groups and socialising with other mums and I don't know how things would have panned out if I hadn't had that. It's a real problem I think!
Can you reach out to other new mums online? I've noticed where I live there seem to be more facebook groups etc to help people connect. Fingers crossed for the Spring that things begin to get back to normal and you can get out and about to groups etc.

FTM here to! Baby boy born in July. I feel really sad my baby classes have all stopped as we were just starting to make mum friends 😩

Hi ladies.

It's lovely to hear from each and every one of you. I think we are all struggling in similar ways. It doesn't matter if you're a firs time mum or you've been there and done it before. It'd a difficult and isolating time, especially now we can't see our friends and family. There's nothing really to look forward too (not even Christmas!!). I'm hoping we can travel and see family by then. My aunt lives in Wales and I've been trying to get to her for a few months now but Covid has continuously put a stop to that. They've just come out of lockdown and we've gone into one - typical. I'm hoping I can visit in December. I just need something to focus on and look forward too. Do you all feel the same or am I the only one??? DS had an awful night last night. He went down at 7pm and woke up at 1.30am and didn't go back down until 3.30am. I'm really feeling it today. Doesn't sleep deprivation make everything seem worse? Hang on in there. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, isn't there? X