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Please help me get my shit together!

6 replies

JingleAndTonic · 10/11/2020 19:47

I felt like I was coming out the other side of a breakup I went through a few months ago. Nothing went terribly wrong - there was no cheating or anything, we just obviously weren't compatible and he said he had fallen out of love with me. I was absolutely heartbroken by that, thought we were going to get married, were in the throws of buying a house together, the lot.

I'm really grateful though that he told me rather than going along with a life together with kids and all the rest with him resenting me and me being clueless then hit with a divorce.

And this evening he's sent me a message. I had deleted all chats etc. so I had no real trace of him on my phone but it was all amicable so I never blocked him. Anyway he messaged me something which would interest me, he's in a trade and has a friend working on something that used to be mine.

That's all fine, I was really interested and I'm pleased he sent it to me. But now I'm a crying mess again after being so fine for the last month or so now. I really thought I was moving on and now I feel as though I'm back at square one, pining away and feel like utter shit like it happened yesterday. It doesn't help that he messaged me on Whatsapp and I could see from his profile picture that he's lost weight and is looking really good so I feel like a fat ugly mess not worthy of meeting anyone else ever again, destined for a life of spinsterhood. It feels so lonely especially with covid as it feels like I can't get out there and meet anyone new? Not that I want to right now.

What is wrong with me?!?! Please pass a grip my way, or a nice story where you felt like me and went on to meet Prince Charming a week later.. Because right now I feel doomed Sad

OP posts:
Elderflower14 · 10/11/2020 19:51

Sending a handhold and a hug.. Why don't you block him on everything?

JingleAndTonic · 10/11/2020 20:01

@Elderflower14 he's storing some of my furniture for me while I look for a house myself, I'm staying with DM just now and there isn't room for it and there aren't any storage units around me so if I block him it'll make it difficult to contact for my things in a few months. It's probably not helping the way I feel just now, there's still a tie there with the furniture but there's nothing I can do about it Sad

OP posts:
Elderflower14 · 10/11/2020 20:05

Oh I'm sorry that is tricky... 😔 😔

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JingleAndTonic · 10/11/2020 20:25

Yes tricky, I'm torn between bawling and begging for him back and going to egg his house, how dare he make me feel this way Grin admittedly I do feel a bit better now after just writing it down but it is still a shite situation.

OP posts:
Welikebeingcosy · 10/11/2020 20:35

If it was amicable then maybe just explain that getting texts like that brings back painful memories of the breakup and you're not ready to be friends right now. It will help you too. As for the furniture, maybe you could have in your mind a second option of asking a trusted friend or family member to pick it up for you.

It will get better- we have all been there. I didn't fall madly in love with a new person after my big 'living together' relationship but it did open up loads of space for amazing new friendships and experiences which filled my heart with a lot ... hugs xxx

JingleAndTonic · 10/11/2020 21:57

We didn't chat too much, I just said thanks for the photos hope you're doing ok and he replied saying much the same and that was that. It wasn't even long enough to justify the blubbering mess I've become, it just feels silly! I had a good look at the photos and then deleted the conversation so I can't sit and re-read it over and over which feels like a big step for me.

With the furniture I could ask some friends to keep it in their sheds but would feel guilty taking up their little storage space with my lovely chaise and things Grin he's keeping them at his workshop which is secure and I'm assured they aren't in the way so it's the safest place for it for now. Plus the petty part of me is looking forward to buying a wonderful house and him coming to give me my things and thinking "wow what a stunning house I really missed out on my life with Jingle" Wink

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