I don't want to declutter - I like my stuff!

[Elsaandanna]

We have just had new flooring put in out lounge. It's a big room, about 20 x 12 feet.
We got about half way through putting our furniture back and I realised how lovely the room would look with less stuff!
I've got 2 big wooden trunks and a coffee table now cluttering up my hall.
The problem is I like them. There's nothing wrong with them. I just don't seem to want to part with them.
And this set me on a spiral, my bedroom would look bigger with one fewer chest of drawers.
The wardrobe would shut properly with less bedding.
The book case would be neater with fewer books as an have far too many for the space.
But I love my books! I did declutter lots of books in Lockdown Mark One. I genuinely want everything left behind. But some shelves are still double stacked.
In the kitchen I have too many mugs and glasses. But they are nice!

How do people come to terms with getting rid of things that are wanted and nice?

Just think how happy someone else would be to pick up that gorgeous piece of furniture for a good price.
You could be helping someone furnish their house who doesn't have much money or giving a shieldier who can't go out a few books to read to keep them occupied etc.

Do you use them? Or is it all just ‘there’ ..... mugs glasses etc will break/chip over time if regularly used. Bedding will fade etc etc

I had a massive collection of lovely candles but wanted more... had to start using them up to justify more. No point keeping things for best,occasions etc

This is very much me!

I try to think, if they are nice but I am not using them (ie just sitting in cupboards) then would someone else get pleasure from having and using them?

But not my books! I occasionally clear out ones I did not enjoy but the rest stay whatever

When did you last use them? Could you box them away and see if you miss them? If not then they go.

I'm a bit of a hypocrite on this as I think we could be kindred spirits

OP I live in a small flat and made this mistake

Now I just think, okay there’s a lot of stuff but I want that stuff and really do miss some items given away.

Are you sure you’re not falling victim to the instagram worthy home?

I think if I personally knew someone to give things to I would. We gave the lounge carpet to a friend who can use it for 2 bedrooms.
I gave away my children's outgrown clothes happily. I have things in the boot of the car fir the charity shop.

But they are things I don't want.

I think it's the fact I like all the bits. I'm Marie Kondos nemesis.

We did use the furniture but we have managed without since Friday and I keep looking at the space and I now appreciate how big the room is.
So I want it and I still like it but I don't need it and my life would be better without so much stuff.

Sadly my house is not even close to being Instagram worthy. ( and I've never got to grips with it)

It's just rammed with things.
DH and I have bits we have inherited from our parents and we've been together over 20 years. There's just too much of everything!

It's a trade off between wanting to keep the stuff and wanting a clutter free home that's easier to clean and tidy. Option 2 wins for me every time.

I think that's just it @Darkestseasonofall
Until I removed the smaller furniture for the living room I hadn't given it much thought.

I work hard and buy nice things. And those things make me happy. But the space possibly makes me more happy.

It's a dilemma.

This is me!
I always can look at something and see a point I need it.

If I genuinely have no need, or know someone who needs it more I have no issue with getting rid of it.
But I think we do use a lot of things. Of my piles of books we probably use 75% between us over the year for example.

Part of my problem I think is df used to just chuck things he thought weren't of any use. Sometimes he was wrong, and the feeling of knowing you had had what you needed and it was now gone (and we didn't have money to buy another) is still with me.

Marie Kondo would say that those things have served their purpose, you’ve enjoyed using them and having them but now it is time to let someone else use them and love them.

She’s a bit woo but actually the ‘thinking of possessions as having souls/purpose’ is quite useful if you’re the type of person who struggles to get rid. She says you should thank every item for what it’s given you then set it free...

I quite like it, as woo decluttering goes.

I am attached to very little in terms of possessions so don't feel what you describe. Unless genuinely irreplaceable (heirloom or handmade) I would just think I could replace if I've really made an error.

I think space is very valuable!

Nope I'm the opposite of you. But we are a whole family in a flat so we have to pare down the clutter. As pp said, space is valuable. Stuff is overwhelming and on the whole pointless.

give them to British Heart Foundation and you will feel good about it.
I would say keep them but you don't really want to.

The minimalism police aren't going to come for you if you keep your stuff! If you really want the space instead, try storing the things you're thinking about getting rid of to see if you prefer the stuff or the space. If the answer's the stuff, that's fine! It's your home, have it how you want it.

Well actually, this is why I liked Marie Kondo, because she gives you permission to keep as much as you like as long as you actually like it! All she asks is that you individually examine how you feel about every individual thing, which is to be fair quite a useful exercise.

I have never understood the whole minimalism and having as little as possible thing. I like variety, I would be so bored with just one option for everything I owned.

Maybe you just need a bigger house :o

I found doing my own hard but the way I tried to think about it was it's not getting rid of things, it's making space for those things you love or need. So if books are your thing you could keep them but look at getting rid of some of the mugs if you don't use/need them. Maybe consider buying a kindle to put most of the books on? I've been ruthless this time around though because I will not have the space for stuff. I've kept the stuff we use, some keepsakes and photographs.

I think it depends what you want. We have a smallish house so got rid of coffee table to open up the space, we have two nests of tables instead. They can be useful but also tidied away.

Ditto upstairs, we I got rid of my vanity because I wanted more space and have replaced it with a chair that takes up less space than the vanity and do my make up in the bathroom.

If space was no object I'd have a ton of stuff.

I have recently given away something in a fit of clearing out. I really wish I had kept it a bit longer to be sure I didn't want it, because I wish I had kept it. It can't be replaced.

I usually put stuff aside until I am sure, then it either goes back or is given away. I can always get rid of it later if I really don't want it.

So you have seen how the room looks without these items. Maybe take some photos? Then move them back in, and see if it looks and feels better or not. Play around with the layout. You don't have to decide straight away.
And if you decide to get rid, perhaps sell them and use the money for something new and fresh?

I have loads of stuff. Loads. Not hoarder style big piles of newspapers, and nothing that is broken or incomplete, but by anyone’s standards, one hell of a lot of stuff.

I worked out last summer that I have enough clothes (if I lost the two stone that I’ve been wanting to lose for a while) I’d have enough clothes to wear something different every day for three months. It may not be what I’d want to wear, but it’s stuff I want to keep, in case (pray for me) I am ever two stone lighter again.

I know that this is nuts. I know that, if I was to lose that two stone, I would enjoy choosing new things that would suit the new shape I would be (as I may not lose the two stone in the same places that I put it on). But I really really like those clothes and would want to wear them again. If I was two stone lighter, I would be fine with not having them all. But I can’t make the decisions now.

DH won’t throw a book away. He has in mind that when he retires he will reread all those novels. I dread to think how they will smell then and how they will still be held together. But he likes how books look and make him feel.

Like you, I am absolutely fine with getting rid of things we no longer need eg toys, shoes and clothes that the DC have outgrown. We got rid of the CDs and the stereo last month as we realised we hadn’t played a CD in about five years.

You need better storage maybe?

Well “I worked out last summer that I have enough clothes (if I lost the two stone that I’ve been wanting to lose for a while) I’d have enough clothes to wear something different every day for three months. It may not be what I’d want to wear, but it’s stuff I want to keep, in case (pray for me) I am ever two stone lighter again.”

I completely understand this. I did actually lose two stone a couple of years ago. Then after my dad died, I put it back on. But there is no way I’m getting rid of things like classic Levi’s or even just tops and jackets I really like, only to find myself confronted with more expense if I lose the weight again.

Likewise, I’m glad I didn’t throw out the fat clothes, I’d have been well pissed off if I had to buy those again.

Acorn yes! It’s not just me!

DH won’t throw a book away. He has in mind that when he retires he will reread all those novels. I dread to think how they will smell then and how they will still be held together. But he likes how books look and make him feel.

Where is he keeping his books????? I have lots of books I haven't read recently, they smell just fine and are not falling to pieces. (The books I read a lot on the other hand may be falling to pieces....)