I just want a baby but not on my own. Feel so broken.

[Mincemeatday]

I just want a baby. I’m single. I don’t want to do it alone. I feel like all men will run if I raise this early on, yet I don’t want to just date for years. I’m nearly 36. I’m so fed up, sometimes I think just settle for someone online and go with it rather than look for someone I really want to be with. I’m so sad tonight.

I'm sorry, I don't know what to say but didn't want to read and run

Have you had bad luck in relationships or just not found "the one" yet?

Sometimes I don't necessarily think "settling" is a bad thing. I would say the love of my life was the boyfriend I had aged 16-20, I was head over heels crazy about him and have never felt the same way about anyone since. But you know what - I adore my DH, our love runs very deep even though it wasn't quite the mad passion I had with my first love. He's a wonderful father, he makes me laugh, he's steady and dependable and treats me well. Those things are important.

Sorry, sort of rambling and obviously I dont know anything of your history at all but I do have a couple of friends in your situation who have just not found "the one" yet, and I think thinking of it in that way may be part of the problem.

Thanks. I think it may have been in the past. The last couple of years I’ve just had an awful time with relationships. I don’t think I’m looking for perfection but I’m old now, it all feels much too late.

You are not too old. My sister had her first baby last year, aged 44, with a partner she met only two years previously. 36 is no age these days

I guess dating must be really tricky at the moment though?

My friend told her boyfriend I. The first date she wanted marriage and children - they’re still together.

The right man won’t run. Some men want these things as well. Best to be honest.

I know a man of 41, professional, loyal, kind, funny, quite good looking and a good cook, who would like to meet a 36 year old, settle down and have kids. He was with someone for several years but his career got in the way - he had a travel a lot and she couldn't cope with him being away though he did fly her out to him sometimes so she saw a bit of the world - and the last one he was keen on turned out to be a fatuous beauty. He never says anything against either but I know he would like someone.

They do exist, op. You both need to be frank about what you are looking for in a relationship from the start but obviously there has to be chemistry and you need to get to know each other.

I think a lot of guys esp older ones feel the same. I think positive attitude is everything..try and enjoy the process. It ain't over til its over.

I recently read an article about a man and woman who decided to have a baby together and coparent. The child movies between their homes. There is apparently a way to find people interested in such.

There are plenty of men who want to have children.

I know it must be disheartening to be single wondering if it will ever happen for you. But it absolutely can.