WWYD? Giving up my job?

[BB8sm8]

Please go easy on me - I don’t know what to do for the best...I’ve not worked since my youngest was born as I was on a 0 hours contract...the last year or so before returning to work I became very down & lost my sense of self. I started a new job, 3 long days a week, I am not there for drop off & not back until bedtime. DC are 9 & 6. 9 year old seems ok though he says he wishes he had me to talk to at night, he’s going through friends drama. 6 year old hates it, cries most mornings, asks when are you quitting? Why do you have to work etc? I feel torn in two. We are extremely fortunate that we could afford for me to leave & find work with better hours, the hours aren’t particularly school friendly. I feel like I should quit for my kids, yet that might not be the right thing for me. WWYD?

I would be very cautious about quitting. Who is looking after your children after school when you work? Is it their Dad? They can talk to him. I know that sounds harsh but kids are terribly pushy...because they don't understand the connotations of you being there 100% of the time.

Just reiterate how lucky they are that you're around on the 2 days you ARE around on school days.

To add...according to my DD aged 12, I'm NEVER there for her...when in fact, I work for myself and am home every day before and after school! They're stroppy and unreasonable by nature. You'll leave work and they'll moan about something else.

Aw that has made me smile thank you! It’s their Dad or Grandma, because of Covid they are both around a lot more however I’m a key worker so I’ve been around less. I always feel like I’m letting them down in one way or another but I think because I’m worried about this myself, it’s hitting a raw nerve! It never occurred to me (stupidly perhaps!) that kids will always find something to moan about and if it’s not thins, it’ll be something else!

I genuinely feel for you OP it's a rock and a hard place. I used to suffer with horrendous mum guilt. Mine are about to be 8 and 5. A few years ago due to divorce I was working heavily fulltime. Alot was done at home but I was very much not present , oh God the guilt. Ds1 would say I wasn't there I wasn't around. I retrained,I changed my job so that I worked less hours. Hmmm it continued (started to realise whilst he didn't mean to play me he had worked out I probably showed my reaction more than I thought ).

At the beginning of lockdown my job was there but online. I was in the same house. Still complaints.

Finally , unconnected now I had to give up work (related to DP job , the sudden loss of wrap around childcare in the area etc) so I work freelance online for a couple of hours while they are at school,I'm applying to a masters that will keep me in the career game.

Ds1 complaint now ? When I am more or less at his beck and call ?

Can I please get a job so he can have more toys

Can't win.

What I would say is I hold great value to the DC seeing mum work. I was horrified at some of the things DC have come out with from school. Women always stay at home, women are "just" mummies (that got an hour long sit down and inline looking at what is actually involved in SAHM , discussion about sexism ...... and that no role is beneath anything....poor little soda will never make that mistake again!)

They will work it through OP and these reactions are more often than not about them figuring out how the world works and nothing at all to do with you. There are upsides and downsides to working and not working. Factor in whether it is good for you ,seriously you6happiness and fulfillment as well as theres impacts on the family.

Three days a week, when they're with family anyway, really isn't much. I'm sure they'll get used to it.