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Original poster

How do you deal with broodiness when you’re done having kids?

40 replies

Giraffesandducks · 08/11/2020 14:01

I had kids young, in my twenties. Late thirties now and not planning (rationally) to have any more. But I keep getting these waves of broodiness/longing for another baby before it’s too late! Blush

Did anyone else have this? How did you deal with it?

Also - those who had kids young that have now grown up, please tell me about the advantages! Flowers

OP posts:
ParkheadParadise · 08/11/2020 14:16

I had Dd1 very young. I always knew she would be my only child I never imagined having anymore.
At 18 she went off to University. DH and I were in our early 30's. We went on holidays and did all the things we missed out on.
At 38 dd2 made a surprise appearance, didn't know I was pregnant until I was 5months. It was a total shock.
She started school in August. Personally, I would rather have my kids young and together🤣🤣

ThorFull · 08/11/2020 14:38

I have a 7 and a 5 year old and I know I’m done. I hated the baby and toddler stage so much, I never want to do it again.
My ovaries occasionally scream otherwise.
Last time it happened, we went on a day out and saw several 1-3 year olds in various states of tantrum/ whinging/ general neediness and I was bought straight back to reality.

Original poster
Giraffesandducks · 08/11/2020 16:02

Screaming ovaries is about right!

Just walked past a tiny baby in a buggy and.. there we go again Confused

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MinnieMountain · 08/11/2020 16:57

Tell yourself it’s your hormones talking, not your brain. Hormones are responsible for all sorts of ridiculous thoughts.

Remind yourself of the sleepless nights, weaning, nappy changes, potty training and toddler tantrums.

Presumably you can leave your DC alone for a bit now? Do you really want to wait another 12 years before you get that back?

Springcatkin · 08/11/2020 17:00

Got a new kitten every few years when I got broody. Had 6 cats until a few weeks ago when a couple died after old age / illness.
Now past child bearing age but still planning another kitten next summer Smile

dkdkfhfkdsl · 08/11/2020 17:03

Come and stay with me and my 18 year old DS. That will put you off having any more Grin

TheChosenTwo · 08/11/2020 17:05

Oh god, spend some time with toddlers and their parents! I really did enjoy all stage of them when they were little, and I really like spending time with my friends and their little kids but by god I’m so glad I’m past those ages now. Mine were actually quite pleasant toddlers (as in no screaming tantrums throwing themselves on the floor, slept well etc) but when I spend time with friends who have small children I always feel glad I don’t have to go home and deal with crappy kids tv, play doh all over the dining table, toys strewn about the floor, bath time and all that.
It’s such a tie.
Mine are now 17, 16 and 9 so not out of the woods by any means but I get the horrors, not when thinking about another baby but more specifically when I think of having another toddler!
It’s so easy now to pop out for a couple of hours when they don’t want to come with me, plan weekends away with friends, going on holiday with them is now far more fun and less stressful, not having to negotiate buggies anywhere...
babies are lovely, toddlers are hard work!
I’d never have another.

TheABC · 08/11/2020 17:06

I am happily done. DH is getting broody, so I am on the lookout for a ginger kitten to add to the family. Much easier and requires no sleep deprivation.

Original poster
Giraffesandducks · 08/11/2020 17:16

Thanks everyone, these comments are helping! It really is my hormones and not my brain I know, combined with... maybe a kind of existential issue about getting older and dealing with never being pregnant etc ever again...

But yes my two are getting older and more independent and mostly it’s great Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Giraffesandducks · 08/11/2020 17:16

Quite like the kitten idea too!

OP posts:
AriesTheRam · 08/11/2020 17:20

I got a puppy

enjoyingscience · 08/11/2020 17:24

I just think of the negative impact it would have on the elder ones. Of course they’d love a sibling, but travel would be harder, there would be less time for them, fewer treats, fewer everything really. And the lack of sleep. That’s how I know I’m done!

MunchBunchYoghurt · 08/11/2020 17:24

I had two children in my early twenties and then a third in my thirties- so that’s how I dealt with the broodyness Grin

DanielODonkey · 08/11/2020 17:28

I have decided a very specific set of circumstances where I would have another baby. Unless that happens, I just let the broodiness flow through me and not get stuck on it.

(Circumstances: involves dramatic love affairs and complete change in life situation. I would say 100% unlikely to happen but you know, it's good to have thought abkut things any way.)

Original poster
Giraffesandducks · 08/11/2020 17:29

How do you find it @MunchBunchYoghurt, if you don’t mind me asking? Was it hard going back to the baby stage after a large gap?

OP posts:
Original poster
Giraffesandducks · 08/11/2020 17:32

@DanielODonkey that’s interesting. I think I had an idea that it might happen ‘one day’, in certain circumstances, but now I realise (or my ovaries do) that I’m running out of time...

OP posts:
ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings · 08/11/2020 17:32

My last baby is now a toddler and I'm so broody, but dp and I have agreed on no more and he's quite keen on having the snip. My best friend is now pregnant with her 3rd and my broodiness is off the charts. Realistically I know a 3rd would be a bad idea, practically and financially. I don't really want a 3rd child I just want to be pregnant again and have another baby. I'm only 32 so plenty of time left to have a 3rd but I wouldn't really want a huge gap either. Feeling your pain OP!

SignOnTheWindow · 08/11/2020 17:34

I look at my bank account, then read the news.

Original poster
Giraffesandducks · 08/11/2020 17:36

@SignOnTheWindow

I look at my bank account, then read the news.
Sounds like a plan!
OP posts:
enelcielo · 08/11/2020 17:37

Think about the reality of having a baby/child. This is what keeps any broodiness in check for me Grin

Dmtush · 08/11/2020 18:07

Babies are lovely, I adore them and get horribly broody looking at pictures of my own as babies.

Toddlers and preschoolers are massive fuckwits and I’m so glad my youngest is approaching school age. I’ve been sterilised so any urges are pointless thankfully.

copperoliver · 08/11/2020 22:04

If you're really broody maybe you're not done I knew I definitely didn't want anymore. X

JudesBiggestFan · 08/11/2020 22:22

Do it! I have an 11 year old, 9 year old and 3 year old. The baby wasn't exactly planned and I was shell-shocked at first because I thought I was done and moving onto the next phase of life.
All the things I worried about (mostly money-related) have worked out...yes with a lot of hard work but I now have this amazing little boy who is the sunshine in all our lives. I sometimes muse what life would have been like without him...quieter for sure. But what we would have missed...and what could I have spent the past three years doing that would have been more fulfilling?
Just my thoughts. Disclaimer...I'm happily married and we both have secure jobs with opportunity for progression so although money was definitely tighter, a third wasn't disastrous.

Daydreamsinglorioustechnicolor · 08/11/2020 22:24

I remind myself, in all the gory detail, of the reality.

That's the only thing.

Oh and get a new pet!

Iwantacookie · 08/11/2020 22:26

Sorry to derail but 3 children by mid 20s now on 3 cats & dp says no more children or cats so what do people do in my situation slightly light hearted