Would you reconsider a friendship after this or am I being a drama queen?

[Dreamees]

I have a friend I’ve known a couple of years and she’s always been a bit flakey with meeting up and timing. She doesn’t have many friends and I think I’m probably her closest. Before lockdown we had agreed to meet at 12 for lunch. It gets to half 10 and I message to confirm with her and hear nothing. At half 11 she says she will try and be there for half 12 and will let me know

It gets to 12:15 and I hear nothing. I then text her and ask if she’s ok and please could she let me know as I will make other plans if she can no longer make it. She doesn’t read the messages until 4pm and when she doesn’t she doesn’t even reply. She was online all that evening as she has her last seen on WhatsApp. A couple of days later she text to say how was I and that that day she had had a huge row with her partner. This is a common thing as they are always arguing but surely I deserve a quick text to say actually she won’t be meeting!

I’m usually quite relaxed about stuff but I am on my own at the moment and finding isolation hard. That was one occasion I could have been out of the house with a friend and she knew that. I’ve kind of got to the point now, having reflected on it, that it was actually quite a shitty thing to do and I’m not ok with it. Am I being dramatic here?

Depending on what you get from the friendship, I'd act accordingly. I have a flakey friend, but when I do actually see her, she's often great value, funny, fiercely intelligent, and loads of fun to be around. But I don't make any plans anymore that rely solely on her turning up, I've been let down too often. Unfortunately she also doesn't really like group meet-ups, so I do go through quite long periods of just not seeing her. However, if I didn't get something back from the friendship, I I'd be distancing myself and letting it fizzle out.

I doesn't sound as if you don't much matter to her. She will fit you in as and when.

Delete the 'don;t'.

If it was a one off and she's normally a good friend I'd overlook it. If it's regular that's downright rude and I'd give her a miss.

You’re reconsidering a friendship because of something that happened over 8 months ago?

Ahh, of course, you have just gone down into lockdown again.

Yanbu

That would make me cross that she merrily contacts you days later to casually ask how you are! She ought to have text you at the time to say she couldn’t make it. Really poor.