Will building muscle as a women keep me safe?

[CuriousWomen]

I've searched the internet far and wide for the answer of this question and nothing comes up.

I read too many stories of kidnappings, beatings, rapes, human trafficking, muggings and murders that I've basically scared myself. As women, we are biologically the weaker sex but it doesn't have to stay that way right. If we build muscle and learn to fight, we can protect ourselves, right?

Will building muscle make me stronger and will it aid in defending myself against attackers?

Realistically even if you spent the next couple of years in the gym you are still not going to be bigger or stronger than an average man.

As has been stated above the best way to keep safe is to avoid potentially dangerous places and situations. If you feel compelled to do anything more than this self defence or a martial art will be much more useful. Perhaps carry some hair spray with you too that you can hold if you cannot avoid dodgy areas.

Widening it out from attacks by men, something that's proven to be beneficial in any emergency is knowing how to react to get yourself in safety.

Even something as simple as practicing brace position whenever you get into a car builds reflexes that protect you. (For example if someone attacks you from behind, the best way to throw them off is to push back not forwards)

And do it based on SAFETY. Any policeman would advise you to get out of a situation, not escalate it.

The average woman has half of the upper body muscle mass of the average man. So you'd have to double your upper body muscle mass to equal an average guy, then you'd have to be as skilled at fighting someone who has taken the time to plan a kidnapping. I don't mean to belittle your battle plan but I think you would be better off using your energy differently to leverage better odds in this theoretical situation.

@FourTeaFallOut

The average woman has half of the upper body muscle mass of the average man. So you'd have to double your upper body muscle mass to equal an average guy, then you'd have to be as skilled at fighting someone who has taken the time to plan a kidnapping. I don't mean to belittle your battle plan but I think you would be better off using your energy differently to leverage better odds in this theoretical situation.

What about the lower half of a womens body? We give birth with that lower half so are we stronger in our legs then men?

Thank you everyone for your replies but I really don't like the fact that us women are biologically weaker then men. I knew it in my heart but never truly came to terms with it.

As women, we are biologically the weaker sex

And yet, statistically less likely to be victims of violent crime, thankfully.

I'm a relatively strong woman and I've been attacked three times by men and fought them off each time. I was lucky, of course. If the circumstances were different, it could have ended badly. But I do think attitude matters. I was angry and I wanted to hurt them, and in all cases they ended running off. People always push fear as a good attitude for women, but I think it can mark you as a target. Caution is one thing, but I think a kind of readiness to fight can protect you. I'm surprised to see I'm in the minority on this though.

Wow, I thought abusers were all about power and would get angry if they lost any. From what I've studied of abusers (mostly narcissists) when they lose control over a victim physically, they'll stop and start being more psychological abusive to regain some power. He was proud of you and wanted to escalate it? This to me is new.

Oh he didn't lose any power over me, he was 6'4" and much stronger, he easily stopped me and he was only proud after the fact, between incidents, a nicer bloke you couldn't hope to meet. He loved my sporting achievements, but at the start of him turning he'd use it as a warning "I'll push you to hurt me and then I'll really show you how pathetic I think you are" It wasn't like a stand up fight, I was fighting to get away from him plus I think it allowed him to minimise what he'd done if he could justify to himself that I was just as much to blame. I absolutely wasn't and never wanted that, I'm glad I got away very soon after it.

Dh and I are so peaceful together, it's been 23 years.

@Qiry

I'm a relatively strong woman and I've been attacked three times by men and fought them off each time. I was lucky, of course. If the circumstances were different, it could have ended badly. But I do think attitude matters. I was angry and I wanted to hurt them, and in all cases they ended running off. People always push fear as a good attitude for women, but I think it can mark you as a target. Caution is one thing, but I think a kind of readiness to fight can protect you. I'm surprised to see I'm in the minority on this though.

Your opinion is refreshing, soceity is like a hive mind, people largely thinking and saying the same hopeless things

Many men feel like you do. Being as strong as a man doesn't seem to make them feel safe. An you need is two men. Or an armed man. I don't think this will help you ultimately.

Sorry I didn't reply sooner, I thought this thread had dropped off.

No, the muscle difference is less marked in the legs between men and women but the average man has more muscle mass in the lower body than the average women, I want to say 30% more but I couldn't say that for sure.

You can get a lot of this information on the fair play for women website, where the specificity of the male and female body is made clear.

I did kickboxing throughout my teens and 20s and I know certain tactics to out-manover a man but strength wise I know I'd never compete, I can fight well and hard but if a man really wanted to hurt me or kidnap he could. But in certain instances/positions I could outsmart a man and hurt him

I run these days which I think is helpful, I live rurally and last week a man stopped his car and was watching me out walking, maybe he wasnt but it felt like he was, anyway it was comforting to know I was three miles from home and I could run all the way and he'd probably give up

Several years of martial arts and being able to run would help. We were taught to run first. Only defend or fight if we really had to.

yy red. Several years of kickboxing here. I'd hopefully be an unpleasant surprise for some people. But a big bloke would hurt me.

I don't think I'm helpless, fwiw. I'm just not relying on my strength to save me in a fight with a man. Beating your socialisation to be nice at all costs is a lifesaver. Don't feel reluctant to get out of any situation because it would seem rude or hurt someone's feelings.

If it's too far gone for that then make noise, scream for help, fight the urge to freeze, if you are being kidnapped -which seems to be your biggest concern- then get over the reluctance to gouge someone's eyes, scratch, bite, grab whatever you can - make a fucking scene of yourself.

I do think its important to teach our daughters some self defence at some point. My little girl was really surprised to hear that I can fight and in the past won competitions, she sees me as a lovely, polite mummy who'd never hurt a fly. I will encourage both my girls to do martial arts at some point

When younger I was told I gave off an aura of "more trouble than it's worth" to opportunists, which is an excellent protective shield.

Some of that comes from the confidence of being fit and strong.

Given you seem to be living in fear I think physical training will be good for your mental health. Get some outdoor training into your schedule if you can. Works wonders for the soul.

Men will almost always be physically stronger than women, however men also have balls. Which doesnt completely level the playing field by a long shot, but is a useful way to temporarily incapacitate someone in a fight. You have to run away after though. I think self defense/martial arts can be good. However, I think its important to remember that "winning a fight" as a woman is creating enough space between you an the attacker that you can run away. Also preventing, as far as possible, them closing the space between you in the first place. So if a drunk guy lurches towards you your arm goes up to stop them putting their arm round your shoulders, if someone grabs your bag let go/throw it rather than pulling it and the person towards you. Also, if someone is asking you for directions and keeps trying to close the space between you its fine to keep opening it up. But basically, kick them in the balls and run like fuck.

I'm a 17 stone bloke, and if I ever have nutters nearby, even if they are much smaller than me, I'm still running.

Another reason why violence should always be a last resort is that lots of violent men will use a woman hitting them first as an excuse to beat them up (this is more the case for partner violence). I think there was an American NFL player filmed on CCTV punching his girlfirend unconcious in a lift and pulling her out by the hair. A lot of people were defending him by saying that she hit him first/was hysterical. While I'm not condoning women hitting their partners there is absolutely no comparison between a 10 stone woman and an NFL player. FFS. Hence you should always run first, violence is there to give you an opportunity to run.
Incidentally I know someone (male) who competed in martial arts at international level (world championships). He was stabbed while walking back from a party (a bit drunk). He had defensive wounds on his arms so he plainly fought back, but even if you are a very strong, very technically skilled guy you cant rely on your physical strenght to always protect you - as student133 and others have said

Avoid walking along and taking public transport Apple31419?

Get. Fucked.

By far the most dangerous thing I do as a woman, by far, is have a male domestic partner. It’s very telling when people don’t recognise that and prefer instead to lecture other women on how beta to reduce their independence and make their lives smaller.

Stick your misogynistic faux concern up your arse.

One other thing (and I promise Ill stop posting) is that particularly when it comes to Kickboxing (and I imagine also Krav maga) it isnt so much strength that is important but technique. Physical fitness really helps (because being in an actual fight even for a few minutes is absolutely exhausting and the more tired you get the harder it is to work with precision). However, someone small and light can still kick with a lot of power if they are working properly from their waist/hips. It isn't everything - I am fairly certain if I hit a man full force I could hurt him. If a man hit me full force he would kill me. But I'm not looking to kill/permanently disable someone, just ideally get them on the ground so I can leg it.

By far the most dangerous thing I do as a woman, by far, is have a male domestic partner. It’s very telling when people don’t recognise that and prefer instead to lecture other women on how best to reduce their independence and make their lives smaller

This is true. Most women are murdered by their ex or current male partner.

Most women are raped / sexually assaulted by men they are ‘dating’.

Most children are abused by men within their family and social circle.

The common theme isn’t women's weakness or stupidity. It’s male violence.

Also, I would never avoid walking or taking public transport. However, if I am walking alone at night and I have to pass a dark doorway/bushes/a group of people I won't walk directly past, I will try to allow at least 2 metres distance. So if someone lunges out you have time to react. On a bus at night I sit on the side of the seat by the aisle rather than the window. This means noone can block you in by sitting next to you. If a man wants to sit down, I get up, let them tak the window seat, sit back down by the aisle. That way I still get to live life and do what I want to do, but make it safer.

I thought this was going to be about bone density and osteoporosis and I was going to say yes!

@S00LA

By far the most dangerous thing I do as a woman, by far, is have a male domestic partner. It’s very telling when people don’t recognise that and prefer instead to lecture other women on how best to reduce their independence and make their lives smaller

This is true. Most women are murdered by their ex or current male partner.

Most women are raped / sexually assaulted by men they are ‘dating’.

Most children are abused by men within their family and social circle.

The common theme isn’t women's weakness or stupidity. It’s male violence.

Thats why the only way to make yourself safe in that situation is to get away. You could be the strongest woman in the world and you couldn't defend yourself when you are asleep in the bed you share with your attacker, you also can't defend yourself properly with a screaming toddler clinging to your leg or a baby in your arms.