Why is your ex your ex?

[RosieLemonade]

My ex who I was really in love with at university was a medical student. I was really immature at the time and not supportive at all so I didn’t deserve him to stay with me as I wasn’t at all understanding about the situation.
Why is your ex your ex?

XH is not representative of men in general, btw. There are loads of lovely men. XH is an isolated wank badger. However, it would take a lot to persuade me to re-marry. I think the DC and I are ok as we are.

@Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese

I was taken ill at the wheel and rolled his car. When he arrived on the scene his first words were "oh my god my car" while I was sat in the back of the ambulance.

There is a lot more, but that was the final nail as they say.

My Xh would have said that, unfortunately.

for you.

We are better off without.

Bottom line, we grew apart. I matured more than he did. He remained a boy at heart. He became Mr Cheesy - terrible jokes that he thought were so funny - embarrassing. Same old cliches that I'd heard a thousand times - boring.

After children arrived he didn't take to fatherhood as much as he thought he would. He started going out, reliving his youth, dancing, and leaving me babysitting.

He eventually left and got together with someone he met on his dancing nights out. His decision. I would have stuck with it for the sake of the children. I'm glad he did though. Hindsight has told me we were so unsuited.

@SimonJT

Ex 1. We simply wanted different things in life, it was a reallg hard break up for both of us, we’re still best friends.

Ex 2. Bit of an idiot so I had been thinking about leaving as he had jealousy issues and convinced himself I was cheating, he made my decision even easier when he decided to use his fists to try and get his own way. Eventually I learned he had been having an affair for the last six months of our relationship.

The ones like ex1 are always the shittiest of breakups aren't they?

The ex2 ones, although unpleasant, are easier to deal with in a way - I think it's because our minds are already made up that we'd be better off out of the relationship.

💐 for you @SimonJT for the way Ex2 treated you.

He destroyed my dreams. I had the chance to compete in a martial arts competition in the USA but he ruined that.

1. Violent alcoholic, also downright thick and lazy.

2. Violent alcoholic, also thick and lazy.

3. Unbelievably, a nice person. Wouldn't commit and I gave up emotionally and moved on.

Ex 1 (first boyfriend) Because he slept around behind my back, including with my best friend and prostitutes. He was much older than me and i was very naive.
Ex 2 Was jealous and possessive which I hate.
Ex 3 Left me
Then after a long time single, I met DH and have been with him for half my life.

Because he's a paranoid, abusive, lazy, smelly dickhead

Which one?

Because he’s an arsehole. An emotionally abusive cheating arsehole. I eventually came to my senses and dumped him, but sadly not soon enough.

Ex 1: visa ran out, couldn’t renew, returned to New Zealand. We considered marriage for him to stay in the UK but ultimately we both knew that we wouldn’t have chosen to get married had it not been for the situation. He’s a great guy, we’re long distance friends still. I went to his wedding a couple of years ago and his wife is wonderful, they’re far better suited than he and I ever were.

Ex 2: we were fundamentally incompatible and couldn’t make it work. We made each other miserable. Eventually he cheated and I remain convinced he largely did it just because it would be a “no going back” point for us both that would force a break up. He’s not a bad man, though has a lot of faults. We keep in touch.

Together all through uni were totally in love. I got pregnant in my final year of uni we decided to have a termination but deep down I don't think he wanted me too. We stopped communicating after the ordeal (termination was a very traumatic experience and mismanaged) eventually grew apart and split. Continued to sleep together for a few months after until I moved back home.

He was a good guy & we really loved eachother I hear and hope he is doing well for himself which makes me happy

Because he is a selfish, aggressive, controlling prick.

Because he future faked me; asked me to marry him, then spent the next 5 years making excuses about setting a date.

Looking closer at the relationship itself, he is a selfish, unkind, tight bastard, who cares only for himself, so I've actually had a lucky escape.

Because he's a lying, cheating, law breaking arsehole that caused me a world of issues.
I was young and looking back he definitely took advantage of that.

Several exes where we just grew apart. We remain friends to one extent or another (some real friends, some friendly acquaintances).

But one who ghosted me... AFTER TEN YEARS TOGETHER...he said he'd be back by 7pm, I have never seen him since. That was 2013.

Left me for someone else

I've been with DH since I was 22 but I was with my ex for three years (aged 17 - 20). He was 5 years older than me.

I'm an introvert and I've always preferred staying in to going out. He was like that at first but he met a group of guys through his hobby and they started going out all the time. He was drinking a lot, going to strip clubs, partying until all hours and basically shoving me to one side. Then he got mentionitis about a girl I'd gone to school with and six months later he called it quits. Of course they got together immediately.

I saw on social media that they split up a few years later and he's now almost 36, dating an 18 year old and still living that party boy lifestyle. He's like the fucking Benjamin Button of the dating world.

Ex 1: we were too young. Met at 15, broke up at 18.
Ex 2: grew apart, I left our little town to go to uni. He didn’t like city life.
Ex 3: my perfect partner, spun me a lie and married me, but forgot to tell me he was shit scared about being a dad and never intended to have a family.

Because he is the most flakey, unreliable, selfish, self absorbed man I’ve ever met. He would stand me up, then ignore me for weeks if I dared to express how pissed off I was at being stood up again, as if I was in the wrong.

He let me pay for everything, and last year, forgot to open the thoughtful, expensive Christmas present I’d bought him. I actually apologised for buying it on Boxing Day, as having not received an acknowledgement on Christmas Day, I assumed he didn’t like it.

He never once gave me an orgasm.

I still miss him

Another abusive one - as ever, saved the best for after we had our first child although in hindsight always abusive

Because he was sulky and immature and made me feel insecure. I left him after 5 years and got together with his friend my lovely DH, who I've now been married to for 30 years. Not a single regret, not ever.

Because he was controlling and coercive and a cheat

He was a very nice guy but so mature like acted 50 when he was 25. I just wanted to go out and have fun. All is well that ends well. He is happy, I am happy

Because his grandfather made a comment about wanting to pull headscarves off Muslim women. This was on Christmas day in front on the whole family. Not a single one of them stood up to the comment so I left. Yes I did take the presents they bought me.