Help me be more assertive please

[ISolemlySwearIAmUpToNoGood]

Please bare with me, this will be a long one!

I can’t take it any more. We live in a detached house, which was our main criteria when we moved a year ago because we didn’t want noise from neighbours. We bought a corner plot, so no house to our right, the house behind’s garden backs on to our garden and the back of the house to the left backs on to our side with garage in between. There’s a cul de sac sort of opposite but shifted to the side so just a grassy planted area immediately opposite. Couldn’t have been more perfect in terms of space. So we thought.

The kids in the street/estate are chipping away at my sanity. They are out from 9am thumping their football around in the small area opposite us and up and down the street in front of our house. They squeal and shout constantly. This goes on until minimum 10pm on a good night. We can hear them from the back of the house and through closed windows with blinds and black out curtains and TV on. We have a rescue dog and she cowers and whines when she hears them being particularly rowdy. This wasn’t an issue this time last year and seems to have developed since the first lockdown.

They don’t play near their own homes so I don’t know exactly where they live, and even if I did I’m ashamed that I would be too cowardly to speak to their parents. My husband and I have asked them several times to move, which they do for about 5 minutes before returning. I’ve heard them say in passing that they can hear the dog barking at the football again and laughing at her.

Please help me be more assertive in getting them to move. I spend all evening tense with my heart racing. I’m terrible at confrontation/authority. This was meant to be our forever home and I’m beginning to hate it.

If it’s actually your area/ your wall rather than a public wall then tell them if they do that again you’ll set your new Rottweiler on them ( have a menacing mp3 file of a Rottweiler playing on your phone). If it’s public I’m not sure there’s much you can do than to say how would you feel if someone kept chucking things at your bedroom window distracting you while you are gaming. Options scary, hoping for empathy, or just a soft approach as you did before .

Oh another thought. Do you have a neighbourhood Facebook page?

We do have a neighbourhood page but I’d have to be very specific about where I live on it which I’d rather not do so publically. I also very much doubt that their parents actually care as we’re meant to be not mixing with other households and there’s at least 8 of them from at least 4 different households from what I can tell still out. They’re still out now rolling around on the pavement. We don’t have a wall unfortunately, all the front gardens are open to the pavement.

I’ve tried being nice and I feel like they’ll just laugh if I try to be scary! I don’t know how. I realise how pathetic that sounds. They’re at that preteen/early teen stage.

You wouldn’t need to be specific or you could have a friend join the group and post. You could also pretend to be a neighbour and say “ I feel sorry for the couple living next to that area, their poor dog is whining all the time and the kids just laugh. If these kids are yours teach them some empathy”