please please can someone reassure me if they have been in this situation? feeling so worried

[whatsbecka]

I should start this by saying I’m a massive worrier.

I had a medically managed miscarriage about a year ago. Very early and afterwards I was treated with antibiotics for a ‘small infection.’

I was so worried I ended up paying for checks ups and had about 4 scans over 4 months. I’ve seen 3 different doctors. I had pain in my left side now and then, though this could partly be in my head maybe, I don’t know. I was told this pain could not be explained and that there was no sign anything was wrong, the only thing they could see was a harmless cyst that they said could cause pain now and then when ovulating but that was unusual and not to worry. My last check was a month ago and I do still have mild pain now and then in my left side but I do wonder if I have now got this in my head as there will be times when I am distracted for a day and dont notice anything at all.

I’m so so worried that I’ve got some hideous damage that’s been unnoticed. I’ve asked what other tests can be done and pretty much been told there’s nothing more they believe they need to do and I’m welcome to have another scan in a few months to check on the cyst. I just feel low and alone tonight and if anyone has experienced anything similar or knows anything about this stuff...I sense I am getting a bit dramatic now but your mind wanders when you’re sat in a house alone all day!

I had pains after a termination and years later found out that I had adhesions. During a different operation for an ectopic pregnancy, they found adhesions and my bowel and ovary had become stuck together. It must have been the cause of the pain, as it went after they separated them.

As you've been checked for infection, I guess that's not it. Did they also scan to make sure nothing was accidentally left, like surgical equipment?

Reading again, it sounds like the anxiety is a massive factor here. Perhaps commit to a month or so of regular meditation or sleep hypnosis (from YouTube) every night. See if it helps

When is the pain occurring?I get pains in my left side every month when ovulating. It took me years to figure out the two were connected.

@firesong that’s what I’m worried about really. I’d read something like that before. Did you have surgery or medical termination? If you don’t mind saying. Did it affect fertility? That’s what I’m scared of.

I didn’t have surgery I had medical management but did have an infection afterwards which was described as mild.

@LadyOfTheCanyon it’s whenever I think of it and try and recognise it. I wouldn’t notice it in the night for example or if watching tv. Sometimes when exercising but that’s because I’m often thinking about it. It’s more like a little prick pain that’s mild.

They’ve said the scan has checked the area and they can’t see anything wrong or unusual. But I don’t know if they can see everything on that, it was one of those internal scans.

Not much to help but I have a pain there when I run and have recently had ovary checked and nothing there . It’s just along from my c section scar. I’ve stopped running as I found it so stressful, it doesn’t hurt at any other time. I’m doing a lot of yoga hoping it might just be a bad muscle pull so trying to strenghthen my core.

It does seem quite common in my obsessive panicky googling !xx

Thanks @tootyfruitypickle I will try yoga 😊 x

whatsbecka it was an operation, not the tablets. No, fertility was not affected. I was pregnant very quickly three times since the termination. One was ectopic and the other two were full term healthy pregnancies.

Do you feel generally quite anxious? I really find my health affected by anxiety and have to do things to help myself - I've looked up acceptance-based anxiety relief and it's been massive for me. If you have been checked a few times and nothing has been found other than the cyst, perhaps it's time to give yourself a rest from it. Try lots of relaxation and acceptance that things aren't always within your control, and try to get on with your life. I say this because you have said that the pain is not there when you are distracted / enjoying yourself. Maybe see how it goes and if the pain is still there or increasing, ask to be checked again.

If you have adhesions, they do not show in scans. They can be seen when you are opened up. And the removal of them can cause more! So generally, you don't get much help for them unfortunately. They only operated on mine because the organs were stuck together and because they were in there anyway.

I hope this isn’t insensitive, but do you think that it could be in your head? I think it’s great to get it checked out because it sounds like there were a few issues, but I recently experienced a health scare where I became convinced that I could internally feel the problem. I wouldn’t have believed I could do that until it actually happened. I had a scan and was told absolutely fine, not a cancerous lump and completely normal, and as soon as I stopped thinking about it, I stopped feeling any sensation. I think I was worrying about it so much that I forgot how this part of my body usually feels and convinced myself that it felt different.

@firesong and @Supertree thanks for posting. I do think a lot of it is in my head as I can go hours without thinking it then hours noticing every little last twinge. Sometimes I wake up in the night crying about it as I’m so worried! Pathetic I know.

I will look into that anxiety management relief right now. I think lockdown has made everything worse as there’s a lot of dark nights to sit and think on my own!

It is NOT pathetic to feel anxious, worried, or anything like that. It's definitely good to take some nice relaxed action on it though. In the past I ended up with panic taking over my life - it's truly horrible. Hope you will be feeling much better soon