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Ready to just settle down! what is the problem with me?

1 reply

whatsbecka · 07/11/2020 14:56

I like to think I’m a pretty average person. I have some sadness in my past (miscarriage and awful breakdown of relationship) but like anyone else with a background and past, generally I’m your standard 35 year old woman. Or so I think?! I have a job I love. I have a home I bought on my own which is paid off 50%. Not a big place but worth maybe 280. I’m certainly not an oil painting but I get dates, im slim, I take an interest in things, read, have friends. I’m open minded. Sound like I’m blowing my own trumpet here but I’m just trying to express that I think I’m pretty ordinary and so I don’t understand why I can’t find someone to settle down with. Years ago I probably could have done, but I wasn’t ready and I ended things where the person made me feel frustrated or we clashed.

But for the last couple of years all I have wanted is to settle down. To come home each night, not interested in bars and fancy restaurants like I used to be. Not bothered about being wined and dined necessarily, I just want someone who wants the same things and who I feel something with. Everyone I meet I mostly think fuck this is dull or just plain irritating! I’ve met people multiple times too to be sure. This year I’ve only really dated 4 people properly so maybe it’s not enough but I’m just so fed up and starting to wonder if I’m just incapable of finding someone? I don’t even think I have high expectations! Just someone with a decent job who is kind and hardworking with a sense of humour. Not bothered if they are overweight or a bit shy or whatever.

I often seem to date men and then they will say they have plans to move abroad or they think about moving to London etc and it’s like ffs can I not just find someone who is happy with where they are and what they have and wants to settle down?! Just me? Any advice?

OP posts:
IEat · 07/11/2020 23:16

I'm very late 40s and never settled down with anyone. I've 2 dc's. I've not even had a full kiss since my 2nd DC was born 12 years ago.. Let alone anything else. I've never seen myself as getting married and sharing my life with a man. Not saying I never ever would , but I can't see it happening.
What I'm saying is if you want a person in your life you have to keep looking, keep trying. So what if the next few aren't for you, your person is out there its a big world

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