Am i financially deluded about things, is this the norm?

[heidalot]

I really need a sense check on this. Have NC as I know one of these people is definitely on MN.

My parents, lovely as they are, have always pleaded poverty in one way or another. They have five homes (including the one they live in). They are mortgage free on the house they live in, worth around 500k. Other four homes worth around 150-200 each, all mortgaged and rented out bar one that is a holiday home (also mortgaged but not rented out). They work one day a week each, 58 and 60. On the cusp of getting another car, not brand new but costing 20k..this is where it starts. ‘We can’t afford to buy the car we have to take a loan for it, worrying really.’ Then ‘these buy to let’s dont always pay for themselves, we have to spend a lot of money and time with upkeep...’ I kind of get this, it’s not easy having properties to run and I also get that not everyone who has investments is cash rich and can buy a car outright without a loan. But they will often compare to others who clearly are less financially well off and suggest that they have it hard. They’ve even said things to me such as oh you have lots of income you are fine I am fine, but in comparison to them not at all well off. They are not mean with money and have helped me and my brother out buying a house etc but whenever we go to cafes or rent a film on sky or fancy an expensive Starbucks we near not end of how hard it is for them and they are always hit as the middle class....

Anyway, raised this with a couple of close friends after another recent rant by my mum last weekend and they COMPLETELY got the wrong end of the stick and were saying that gosh yes the cost of their cleaners was getting difficult and it’s ‘people like us’ that get hit the most. One of which said in total seriousness that her PA, who lives in a one bed flat in a terrible area, renting, was ‘much better off funnily enough when you look at outgoings.’

I’m starting to wonder if I am deluded that I feel financially ok on my salary and with only 40% of my mortgage paid off!! I’d considered myself fortunate not hard done by!! If find these comments unbelievably short sighted and lacking in awareness...please tell me I am right?? Or have I been conditioned into thinking my relatively ok income and house is enough?! I’ve felt shit about mentally mocking my parents for their complaining after my friends reactions. Maybe it’s me who is deluded and I’m in for a shock later down the line.

Come on they must know how lucky they are to only have to work 1 day a week, the rest is just fluff so that they can justify it when, no its not the norm. They have made a series of choices and are missing out if they don't enjoy it.

I grew up with a girl like this. She honestly thought they were poverty stricken, reality was that the parents' benchmark for poverty was circa £100k savings in the bank . I used to buy her extra presents at Xmas even though we didn't even celebrate it as her parents would only buy them something to wear and a book, both out of a charity shop. They had a portfolio of BTLs in the SE as an 'investment folder' but the parents were so incredibly tight.

I grew up with a girl like this. She honestly thought they were poverty stricken

What nasty people her parents sound. Even people in genuine poverty often do what they can to get a few cheap but lovingly thought-out presents for their kids. You can hardly blame her for thinking that, if that's the lie her parents maintained throughout her childhood. Poor girl.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll I think her benchmark for poverty was just so askew. Her parents would have plunged any amount of money into something educational for example, but were extremely tight in every day matters. They drove cars that were 25 years old and completely hanging on by a thread. The good news is that they were all given house deposits and my friend now has a 'London pad'. She probably realizes now that they weren't broke at all, her parents were just extremely careful.

zatarontoast

I suppose that redeems them a bit, but all those nice things (not just the actual objects but the feeling of being loved and that she mattered) that she unnecessarily missed out on in childhood that she can never get back.

I will never understand misers who dedicate their whole lives to needlessly living in abject poverty (and their children too), just so that they can leave a colossal amount in their will when they die - much of which may very well get swallowed up in care home fees and inheritance tax anyway.

I come across this a lot. We got salary cuts at work, which is rubbish when people have committed to high outgoings, but we are still paid above the industry average and really lucky compared to so many people, the scale of moaning about it drives me mad.

I am really bad at managing my money, but I wouldn't blooming complain about it.

I wonder if it's some sort bizarre of way of feeling better about having more than other people? Or maybe they are just completely out of touch with the real world.