But where the hell do I go, and how do I do it?
I have a very disabling condition, so can only work maybe 3-4 hours a day 2-3 times a week. No employer would go anywhere near me, so have to be self employed. I used to do quite well, but now my body is aging to the point where I struggle to do every day things.
I don't have anywhere near enough to rent a place.
But I can't. just. stand. this. slow. death. of living with this man anymore.
He has anxiety. He had it when I moved here but mildly.
It has since worsened to the point where he cannot/will not say anything positive/upbeat in a conversation.
I feel like his carer/counsellor/mother constantly trying to calm him, help him work through things, calm his tantrums.
He's at home with me all day.
In my head I'm screaming.
I.Just.Want.Some.Space.
Yet again he doesn't want to talk as it's too much, so he's gone to bed, leaving me on my own yet again for the 4th time this week. He hates people. The world is designed to keep him poor.(his words, not mine)
And don't get me started on his bloody conspiracy theories.
He refuses counselling. (it won't work he says)
I could go on, but won't. I'm an upbeat person, always try to see the good in people, find an alternative way if the first won't work.
But I'm gradually sinking to the floor.
What, just what do I do ?