Private or state

[thinkingcapon]

I was left a substantial some of money some years ago......my son is due to start school next year........would you consider private if you could afford it and were impressed by that school would you send?
I'm also impressed by local state schools........

Substantial depends on how much. Loads maybe private straight away. It gives the child more opportunities but that’s it.

Having 4 children in independent schools id go for state straight away and move your child when older .... save some cash they are colouring at first and reading biff and chip 🤣🤣🤣🤣 uniform killer in private especially blazers . 😂😂😂 Also, I’d think easier to get into private coming from a state system than the other way around.
Also, maybe apply for a state school see if you get the one you want - you can always cancel your place for nothing.

We’re going private. There’s a much wider range of things on offer, extensive facilities, specialist teachers. I think it’ll be a more fun option.
State schools only have a fraction of the funding so can’t compare on facilities, resources or pupil:staff ratios.

Private but a good private school.. As pp said, is it loads, then go private primary or primary till 8 then move.
But definitely private.

State until secondary- unless you need really good wraparound care - which private tends to be good at.

There are loads of previous threads on this if you want a mass of opinions.

The big decider for me was having local friends vs being driven everywhere. I love the fact that my 10yo can walk to school and meet his friends in the park. Even though we could afford private secondary we won’t as he has a great peer group, which is so important for teens. Save the money for after school tutors or switching to private later if state doesn’t work out.

If you didn't have good local state schools I would say private. But since they also impressed, save the money for private secondary and to really support the hobbies he will develop as he gets older.

I disagree- I think the higher staff ratio/smaller class sizes in early years far more important to children's development. Having an adult listen to you read and change your book every day is far better at getting small children reading quickly and helping them access other areas of the curriculum.

Private or state depends entirely on the school options available to you- there are absolutely fantastic state schools and mediocre independent schools- look at those you can feasibly get to twice a day and go from there. Facilities are not the be all and end all- how the children are treated and how much they enjoy their learning are very important.

DD is in a state school but I'm considering switching to Private (will certainly be private in secondary regardless). I think as a parent I would suit a private school better than a state school.

I find that the teachers are very overstretched in the state primary she is in, emails are ignored for days on end, there's been very little communication about how she is progressing (no parents evening since November 2019) whereas I have friends with children in private schools and parents evenings have continued.

I don't feel that there can be a lot of focus on individual abilities in a class as there are 29 other children. It feels very much that whatever education they are providing at the moment is good enough. Again, it's felt very different for my friends who have children in private schools.

I think it depends on your expectations. I think as I have quite high expectations, private school would suit DD (and me) better.

It depends on so many things: how much money you were left; have you paid your mortgage off; do you have enough left to cover the fees, uniform, meals, trip etc?

Then it depends on what schools are like in your area. DS went to a truely outstanding state primary and now goes to a top Grammar school, so no need for private school. There are only 2 private schools near us anyway, which don’t offer anything better than DS’s Grammar and don’t get anything like the results at GCSE and A level. I guess if you live down south and have more options for private, things may be different.

I would always choose private, my daughters are all privately educated. Although I have a biased view in that I am not aware if any state educated people in our close circle. The benefits are a greater exposure to specialist teachers at a younger age, our girls have sports coaches, are taught music by music teachers, art by an art teacher not by a single teacher trying to cover a broad curriculum.

Its a personal choice though and a monetary evaluation only you can make. Whatever your wealth spending money on education is a conscious decision. Itd not possible to visit schools currently but many have virtual open days, its worth attending those.

If your local state offerings are excellent, go for it. They learn all sorts of skills and socialise happily with kids from all sorts of backgrounds and are often taught or passively understand important life values/skills in practice. If you read to them every night they won’t be behind at all. And reconsider private at 8 or 11. We were going to move ours private at Y3 but are so happy with her state school have deferred decision until secondary. Also, as per PP it’s fantastic having school friends on neighbouring roads, walking to school and also knowing kids are known in neighbourhood so people looking out for them IYSWIM, rather than a prep that needs driving too, and then ferrying your kids about etc. Real community spirit!

Hi OP, I’m also biased as I went to private. Me and my brother loved it, though we have nothing to compare it to. Factually, those I have met in the job I am in and friends from school in similar professions, all say nearly all their colleagues went to private school. Obviously it’s not as simple as buying a good job from expensive schooling (I know plenty from school who still live off family wealth with no real career) but generally it puts you in good stead and you are pushed to achieve the best.

One thing I would say is to consider the location you are in. If in a nice area then you might consider stats until secondary so that they have friends in the local area. That said, although I missed out on that, most teens in our village who went to the local state were critical of private school kids, which wasn’t nice. In some ways it was probably better that we were in private all the way through!

I would also consider whether you can help with a house deposit after spending so much on fees. You can be in the best and extremely highly paid job in the country but without that deposit (which will be even more in future probably), you will never feel the benefit of having worked so hard in school and afterwards. So while you put them in a good place educationally, unfortunately money is the main thing that gives you choice and a comfortable life. I am not totally sure I would give up helping on a house purchase in order to pay for fees. The ideal is to do both.

In summary I am very pro private school and your kids will most likely be very well cared for and nourished.

Nikhedonia Fri 06-Nov-20 23:01:06

^^ I am getting the same impression of it being just - good enough and we should be grateful. I have a thread running about a lack of parents evening for a year 8 DD who is into her second year at a school, and we have not had any more personal feedback about her at all - bar a form with numbers .

I used to champion our primary school and told everyone - even if we won the lottery we would not move the DC. Sadly I now realise how naive I was and with one or two issues handled dreadfully that sheen fell away. NOt every private school is amazing but parents who pay for an education certainly have more power and less of this - you should be grateful attitude and the old 30 children so we cant do a single thing - trope.

I would say state till y4 or y5 - years 5 & 6 in a state school can get very boring and repetitive for bright kids as the schools tend to be focusing on bringing the least able pupils up to the minimum base line. Obviously good ones will try to stretch the most able but this only goes so far. But the first years of primary are absolutely fine in the state sector if your local options are decent.

Thank you all for your replies.

I'm still no further forward, although do really appreciate all your thoughts......

If you can afford it, private. If not state. We could (lived in London) the driver when DS reached year 4 was boredom and teaching to sats for a bright child. Also the fact that the local London day school (frequently top of the tables) provided specialist: English, Maths, Science, Classics, French, History and Geography teaching.

However at peak school fee stage with two in the system we were paying £38,000 per annum after tax.

State to 8 for DS and to 11 for DD was just fine.

Outstanding local state school is more than equal to private but you have to enrich with opportunities.
There are good private and rubbish ones and good state and rubbish.

Depends on how much money, fees will go up remember and your income (and potential). Personally I would state educate at local school unless it's dire until year 5 and transfer at year 6

Do you think that of you have the money then you should go to private? I'm not so sure.......

*if

@thinkingcapon

Do you think that of you have the money then you should go to private? I'm not so sure.......

No, I think if you have the money and the state schools don't meet your expectations and a private school would be appropriate for your DC, then it's a no brainer. Private all the way.

A thread asked something very similar a few months ago.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3816131-AIBU-to-not-send-children-to-private-school-even-though-we-can-afford-it

I am surprised at how many posters here have said private. There are a much wider range of opinions on the thread I’ve linked to.

Fwiw personally I was put off private secondary education by the students I saw at Oxford. A lot of very bright young people but the private that I met were much more spoon fed than the state. Still considering it for dc2 though, as she has additional needs.

I’m very surprised by responses here too.